


Itsy Bitsy Spider Fell Into An Alternate Universe

by PurpleMango



Series: Fate's Favorites [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Basilisks, Dancer Natasha Romanov, Death, Department of Mysteries, Hogwarts Second Year, Horcruxes, Magic, Master of Death (Harry Potter), Natasha Romanov Dies, Seer Luna Lovegood, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black Needs a Hug, Sirius Black as Padfoot, multiple times actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 45,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMango/pseuds/PurpleMango
Summary: An eye for an eye.A tooth for a tooth.A life for a life.Sirius Black fell through the Veil of Death.Natasha Romanov disintegrated under Thanos' snap.Magic saw an opportunity to change the timeline and took it.No one dares question Magic...Except maybe her sister, Death.





	1. Death Doesn't Take Holidays

Natasha saw Thanos disappear after the snap.

Then Barnes was walking towards Steve, but something- his arm-  “Steve?” 

She saw Steve turn and then Bucky Barnes dissolved into nothingness.

Starting forward, she felt a strange numb feeling come over her and looked down.  Her own hands were dissolving. 

“No. No…” Her disbelief caused the others to look at her.

Steve held up a hand, and she staggered. 

“Avenge u-”

And then it felt like she was being submerged in an ice bath.

 

When Natasha blinked, she found herself in a room with no doors or windows.

Looking down at her hands, she found herself sitting in a comfortable chair. And what made her blink in surprise was her hair was red and long in a way that it hadn’t been since she was in the Red Room.

“I quite liked it that way... Never understood why you changed it.”

Snapping her head up, she saw the room wasn’t as empty as she thought, two women sitting across from her. The dark haired woman had a long face with slightly sunken-in cheeks, pale skin, and glittering black eyes smiled in amusement.

“Where…”

“You’re dead Natasha.” The woman with the white blonde hair and kind smile looked at her almost fondly. “Thanos killed you with his  infuriating  _gauntlet_.”

Natasha noticed a chair next to her, one that was empty.

The dark haired woman grinned, her smile more cutting than the other woman. “Oh don’t worry. He’s almost here.”

Before she could as who, a glowing doorway seemed to open out of nowhere, a dark haired man falling through. 

He blinked, looking up at them in confusion. “What the hell-”

“Now now, Sirius Black, please take your seat so that I might explain. You are  _ quite  _ late.” The blonde woman shook her head like the man was a unruly child.

Looking confused out of his mind the man only spared her a brief glance before sitting down.

“Okay. Now we must begin or this unique opportunity will go to waste.” The dark haired woman grinned. “Yes, both of you are dead. But... Life and I have a proposition for you.”

The blonde clapped her hands, a big smile on her face. “Hi! I’m Life! Or Lady Magic, or Mother Nature, God, whoever you feel you want to call me! And I’m here to help both of you.”

“Lady- Lady Magic?” The man beside her paled.

“And I’m Death. I’m sure my other titles aren’t needed. But _ back to the point _ , there is an issue that needs to be fixed, maniacs that are running around messing with the timelines-”

“You mean... Voldemort?” 

Natasha peered at the man next to her in curiosity. 

Death sighed in irritation. “Yes, well Voldemort for your timeline and Thanos from hers. Two irritating men that think they are above the Powers That Be.”

“And what are we to do?” Natasha didn’t let any of her uncomfort show, sitting still and composed.

The two woman looked at each other. “We need two… champions to set this straight. You will go into the other’s timeline and help destroy these two aberrations. Sirius, you will go into a world of superhuman beings, aliens, and beasts of strange powers. Natasha, you are to be introduced to magic. Each of you will have the memories of your past life, each of you then can ask three things of us. Three gifts, if you will... Now Natasha, you will still be in the timeline with the Avengers, Sirius you with the Order of the Phoenix, but each of your bodies from your original timeline will not know what you know now.” 

“Why us?” The man beside her frowned.

The blonde smiled gently. “You both have been through trying experiences. Askaban and the Red Room are both places of horror.”

Natasha and Sirius both flinched at the names, before glancing at each other. 

“However, you both escaped, fought your way out tooth and nail. You both have an exceptional moral compass that can always be counted on to protect innocent lives. We need you.”

There was a long pause.

“I ask as my first gift, to understand this new world, to be able to blend in seamlessly.” Natasha needed that if she was to be useful. “I want to be able to use magic if i’m going to be able to defeat some homicidal wizard, and… I would like Clint Barton to be by my side.” 

“How about…” Death grinned, eyes glinting. “We give you a group of highly trained magical individuals to teach you what you need to know, you can have the power of Merlin… But Clint cannot come. He has to stay in his time. I can however, give you the Deathly Hallows.”

A hand was put on her shoulder.

Natasha turned to look at silver-blue eyes. 

“You should take that deal.”

She stared at the man for a moment. “Fine. I accept... But you have to promise to watch out for Clint Barton.”

“If you watch out for my godson, Harry Potter.” He extended a hand to her. 

She took it. “Deal.”

Lady Magic clapped. “Beautiful! Well then, Natasha, please say hello to the Unspeakables for me!”

Natasha felt herself falling, her surroundings blurring.

 

There was a strange tense atmosphere in the air of the Department of Mysteries the day that Voldemort was supposedly defeated by the young Harry Potter, his parents slain. The Unspeakable seemed drawn to the Hall of Prophecies. Then at noon, the tension grew, before all the glass orbs seemed to resonate, vibrating in a strange humming sound.

The Head Unspeakable moved past the others, frowning at the shelves. The room had never done this before. 

Then, as if on a timer, all the glass orbs in the room shattered.

Shields were thrown up, and when it had stopped raining down glass, the Head Unspeakable lowered his shield and felt his mouth drop open.

In the middle of the isle, with glass shards surrounding her but with not a single scratch, a girl with the reddest hair he’d seen in ages was laying on the ground.

Then the hall shook once more, a voice ringing out. 

_ “I, Death, lay claim to this child. You will teach her, and she will grow to become more powerful than you will ever imagine. She is to be trained for any and every situation, then sent to Hogwarts September 1st, 1992.  _ **_Do not_ ** _ disappoint me.” _

Every single Unspeakable was at a loss for words, but then the girl blinked, looked around, and did the one thing they definitely were _not_ expecting. 

She pulled out two guns.


	2. Mother Knows Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So kinda a time skip, but it's been a year since she was brought here.   
> She's turning twelve, and going off to Hogwarts a year late.   
> Lady magic didn't want to mess with Harry's first year, because then he'd be a different person with different friends.   
> Instead, she just wants to change the outcome before people start dying.

Natasha frowned at the familiar Unspeakable that was walking with her to Diagon Alley, a woman she’d nicknamed ‘Orange’ for her love of the (in Natasha’s perspective) horrendous color. “And since when do I need a babysitter?”

Orange smiled down at her. “Not a babysitter. A guide. Plus, you have appearances to keep.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “What, the dragon hide clothing and red hair are not suspicious enough? Tell me why Coffee Bean really sent you with me.”

Orange grinned at the nickname for the Head Unspeakable. “He was worried you might get lost. Pick up a job while you were out.”

“Ah.” Natasha frowned deeply. “Yes. My ‘ need to fix things ’. I forgot that was a bad thing.”

“Not a bad thing. Just not what we need at the moment.” Orange put a light hand on her back, and opened the door to the wizarding pub Natasha had heard so much about.

The room seemed to quiet and Natasha kept her face impassive as she strode through the room, the woman in Unspeakable robes at her back like a shadow. She knew that she was an odd sight, hell even some of the Unspeakables stayed away from her, but she didn’t let it faze her.

If she could put up with Tony Stark flirting with her while she was his assistant and not kill him, she could get through a simple crowd. 

Orange snickered when the whole room surged forward to watch her wave her hands, the wall to Diagon Alley sliding into an archway.

_ “How did she do that?”  _

_ “Who is she?”  _

_ “She’s so young! How did she do wandless magic?” _

“Might as well tell Toast that he can come out. It’ll get hard for him to trail us with this crowd.” Natasha tilted her head to the side to mutter to Orange, looking at the crowded Alley with distaste. 

Orange didn’t try to tell her that the blonde-haired unspeakable wasn’t following them, just waved at him. 

Toast didn’t look fazed, however, just grinning down at her as he joined them. “Hey! Funny seeing you here Natasha!”

“Yes. What a coincidence...” Natasha pulled out a piece of paper with a list scrawled onto it. “Are we going to get this done?”

Both nodded. 

“Good. Let’s go.” 

Natasha made her way through the Alley with less than a hitch, mostly because of the two Unspeakables practically growling at every person that came near her. Upon entering Gringotts, she made her way past all the tellers, nodding to each one as she passed. 

Seeing the looks of surprise at her recognition of the creatures most people ignored almost made her smile, but instead she kept her cool, going to stand before the tallest desk at the end of the room.

A gnarled old goblin stared down at her with disdain. “Do you have an appointment?”

Natasha bowed. “Forgive my intrusion, Master Goblin, but my mother sends her regards.” Pulling up one of her sleeves, she showed off one of the two magical tattoos that she’d woken up in this world with. 

A triangle with a circle in the center, a line running through it. 

The Deathly Hallows.

Seeming to go into a panic, the old goblin hurried down to where she was standing. “Right this way Miss.”

She turned to the two Unspeakables. “Please wait here. I won’t be long.”  Then she followed the goblin.

 

Natasha was lead before a desk of pure gold, the old goblin bowing deeply to an even more decrepit and wrinkly goblin. “Chief Ragnok, Head of the Gringotts London Branch, please meet…” The goblin glanced at her when he realized that he forgot to take her name.

She smiled, bowed just as lowly, then pulled up both her sleeves showing both the Deathly Hallows and the winding golden tree on her forearms. “Natasha, Daughter of Death and Lady Magic.” Using the title that the Unspeakables had taught her always made her feel like she was showing her hand and it unsettled her. “I require access to an inheritance test, so I can withdraw money from the appropriate vaults.”

The goblin grinned widely, teeth sharp. “It will cost you, daughter of Magic.”

“I know that everything costs, Chief Goblin, and I am prepared to pay.”

Nodding, Ragnok waved to the other goblin. “Fetch me an inheritance test.” The two maintained eye contact until the goblin ran back in. “If you will cut your finger and place it upon the parchment…”

She did as told.

As soon as the cut was made, a woman with long blonde hair and a flowing white dress appeared. “Are you injured? What’s wrong?”

Growling, Natasha pressed her thumb to the test. “Leave me alone  _ Mother _ .”

Both goblins blanched. “La- Lady Magic?”

The woman smiled at the awe-struck goblins, taking Natasha’s hand into her own. “Come now, little spider, we can’t have you getting hurt before you even go to Hogwarts!” The small cut healed instantly.

A chuckle rung out and the two goblins paled as they looked upon the bored dark-haired woman lounging in a nearby chair. “Let her get hurt sister. She’ll need the experience.”

Natasha glared at the other woman. “Death... You’re _still_ a bitch.”

Both goblins flinched, but the woman just laughed. “And you’re adorable. Always a pleasure Natasha.” Death grabbed her sister, then they were both gone.

Scowling at the now empty chair, Natasha clenched her hand shut, watching as the chair shattered into splinters. Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself, scanning the paper before putting it on the gold desk. “I’ll repay any damage for that chair.”

Both goblins seemed more impressed than angry though. “No need, Lady Natasha.”

She raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. “Well then, can I get a money pouch that will only open to my magical signature, three blades of the highest goblin quality, and a ring that will relay my vitals to some type of mirror?”

Ragnok seemed to regain his footing. “That will cost you 300 galleons.”

“150.”

The goblin seemed unfazed at the bartering, smiling a little. “250.”

“215 and the daggers are able to destroy any type of dark magic. Final offer.”

The goblin grinned wider. “You have a deal. Gringotts will mail you the daggers. The ring, pouch, and mirror will be collected.” He nodded to the other goblin who ran out. “Would you like to take a seat?”

“No thank you. My two…  _ guides  _ are waiting and will soon get worried.” At his look of curiosity, she elaborated. “There are two Unspeakables waiting for me in the lobby.”

The goblin stood, face pinching. “Then should we go and wait with them for the items?”

“Good choice, Chief Ragnok. They _do_ get quite antsy.”

 

Orange and Toast looked relieved when she came into sight following the gnarled goblin. 

“Miss me?”

Both gave her smiles. “You have a penchant for trouble.”

“Me? Never.” Her smile was too innocent and she saw Rangok shudder.

The goblin from before was then hurrying over, holding a pouch, a mirror and a ring. Toast shrunk the mirror and stored it away, while she attached the pouch to her side and slipped the small black ring on. 

Bowing lowly, she nodded to the goblins. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Chief Ragnok. May your enemies cower in fear as their blood turns to dust.”

Once again sharp teeth were shown. “And may your gold be as never ending as your mothers, Lady Natasha.” The goblin bowed, and she could feel the whole lobby come to a still, staring at them.

Then as she turned, Orange and Toast flanking her as she walked out of Gringotts, every goblin bowing as she passed. 

“Only you would…" Toast shook his head.  "What did you do?”

“ **I** did nothing.” Natasha sighed. “My  **mothers** however… came to talk”

Both Unspeakables seemed to shudder at that thought.

 

Gathering the materials that she’d need for Hogwarts was almost insulting in a way. Not only was she a 90 year old enhanced woman in her 12 year-old body, but she’d also grown up under the care of the Unspeakables, she’d been taught everything about magic that was possible. 

And now they expected her to be happy with simple defense spells and mediocre potion supplies?

Not if she could help it.

Natasha put together the potion ingredients she knew were in the best condition, not even glancing at the potion kits in the front. She ignored the books on her list, skimming through multiple bookshops finding interesting and rare books she hadn’t read. 

A new broom and six new dragon hide robes later, Orange was trying to get her into a dress.

“Come on! You would look so pretty!”

Natasha looked at the red dress, images of Galas with Clint on her arm and Tony by her side flitted through her mind, before she shook her head. “Not now. However, if for whatever reason, it’s needed for school I’ll go shopping with you, Lavender, Kiwi, and Purple.”

Orange looked satisfied with that and they were exiting Diagon Alley, when a pet shop made her pause. A beautiful hawk with wings of midnight black catching her eye.

Ignoring Toast’s groans, she made she way inside, straight to the beautiful hawk. 

“Look at you…”

Purple eyes swiveled to look at her and her breath got caught in her chest. 

“Clint…” The whisper was quiet, but pained. Natasha turned to the shop keep, who was staring at her. “I’m buying him.” She opened the cage.

“He’s not very friendly miss-”

The hawk hopped onto her arm without hesitation, seeming to eye the shop keep. 

Natasha smiled. “Neither am I.”

Orange and Toast stood outside the shop, on either side of the door, and eyed the hawk when she came out of the shop. “Impulse buying?” Toast grinned. “Strangely unlike you, Natasha.”

Petting the hawk slowly, Natasha shook her head. “Not impulse. He’s a friend.” 

The hawk cried out sharply, landing on her shoulder, and she smirked. 

“And his name... is Clint Barton.”


	3. House of the Guardian

Before long Unspeakables Lavender, Purple, Kiwi, and Orange were fussing over her. Coffee Bean, Obsidian, and Toast watching the women with amusement. 

“Coffee Bean! Help me!” She whined from where she was being suffocated by the four women.

Coffee Bean, the Head Unspeakable, just shook his head. “You will be gone for a year and we will all miss you. Let them worry about you.”

Lavender, known for the soothing fragrance she gave off, ruffled Natasha’s hair. “You’re gonna be gone for more than six months! That’s  _ so  _ long!”

Obsidian finally took mercy on her, prying the women off. “Come now, you will be late.”

Sighing, Natasha made her way to the portkey with Obsidian and Coffee Bean. “Late? Late is just finding another path.”

“Whatever you say Natasha.” Coffee Bean placed a hand on the portkey, Obsidian and her following his lead.  “ _ Boarding school _ .”

 

The sucking feeling of portkeys never ceased to get on her nerves, but time and time again had made her able to land effortlessly, and she immediately had two of her knives in hand as she surveyed the surroundings. When sure it was clear, she slid them away, seeing the two men do the same to their wands. 

She looked around, seeing they were on a hill near the castle entrance, looking over where boats were docking, small children getting off. 

“Come on.” Coffee Bean lead the way, Obsidian falling into step with her as the two men pulled their hoods up, shadows covering their faces.

Natasha rolled her eyes, but let them have their dramatics. 

She scanned her surrounding as she walked, and soon enough they were at large doors.  

“Please, Natasha…” Coffee Bean’s voice was almost pleading. “Put your hood up.”

With a scowl, she did as told, pulling her robes so that they concealed her face and hair. The man nodded and then stepped forward. 

The doors swung open and the talking that everyone was doing almost immediately stopped, all the eyes turning to look at them.

Coffee Bean moved carefully forward, and she followed, Obsidian at her side. “I am Head of the Unspeakables. I wish to place the Heir Unspeakable in Hogwarts.”

Natasha heard the footsteps of children from behind her. 

The old man, Dumbledore as she remembered, looked surprised. “Well… Unless this heir is of age-”

“Heir Unspeakable is 12.” Obsidian's low voice rung out.

Dumbledore covered his surprise with a smile. “Okay… Well let us deal with the First Years before we cover the Heir’s sorting.”

Both Obsidian and Coffee Bean nodded, moving off to the side and casting privacy wards. 

The Head Unspeakable turned to her. “You have the ring?”

“Yeah. I could hardly forget it with all of you asking every second.”

Obsidian pulled her into his side, as far a hug as he’d go around the crowd. “Remember to write or i’m afraid Orange and the others will retire, come down here to follow you around instead.”

Natasha sighed, leaning a little against the tall man. “I’ll miss them, but you have to never tell them. They’ll be insufferable.”

Coffee Bean chuckled. “I’ll make sure they know.” He took her hand, pressing a small velvet bag into her hand. “Here. I was told to give you this when you started school. It’s a present from your mother, the one we don’t like to see.”

Nodding, she put the gift from Death in her pocket and then linked hands with the older man. “Coffee Bean… Take care of them. All of them. I will  _ not  _ be happy if my family shrinks while I'm gone.”

She could feel her magic rising to her skin, knowing her eyes glowed briefly under the hood. One of her favorite Unspeakables, Firefly, had been killed undercover only a few weeks ago… needless to say she had not been happy, infiltrating the magical Mob and killing off his murderers before the other Unspeakables even knew.

Coffee Bean nodded quickly.

Someone cleared their throat.

Obsidian briefly pulled her closer and then he was letting go, the two men walking with her to the aisle. “Are you quite ready?” Coffee Bean’s voice was dry.

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled at the display of indifference to his status, his voice light. “Of course. The heir may come forward, sit upon the stool.”

Nodding to both men, she chuckled. “See you around boys.” Then she made her way to the platform.

“If you would take off your hood...”

Doing as she was told, she dropped the hood, smiling at Dumbledore. Whispers broke out throughout the hall, but she picked up the hat and sat gracefully on the stool. 

A papery thin voice spoke with an air of assessment.  _ “What do we have here? An interesting life… Let’s see… The cunning of Slytherin, the smarts of Ravenclaw, the backbone of a Gryffindor… and your love for your team is such a Hufflepuff trait…” _

Natasha waited patently.

_ “Where do you want to be? You could be anywhere…”  _ The hat sounded slightly mystified.

She smiled, murmuring under her breath. “I think you know where to put me, but fear I won’t be able to handle it. If you look harder, you will see my ledger makes up for  _ quite  _ a résumé.”

A pause.  _ “Very well… but be careful my dear, protecting is different than just destroying the opposition. These are children, after all.”  _ And then with a finality, the hat yelled it’s answer _.  _ “The Fifth Guardian of Hogwarts!”

With a smile, she slid off the stool and took the hat off. 

“Wait!” Dumbledore stood. “The guardians are long dead, their race entirely destroyed!” The hall was alive with whispers.

Natasha went to scratch at her arm, letting her sleeve ride up so her Deathly Hallows tattoo was visible for a single second. “Yes. They were. But my mothers agreed that I should come and get some  _ human interaction _ .”

Dumbledore seemed to go pale at the double meaning to the words and fiddled with the edges of his robes for a second. “Well then…” He turned to the assembled. “When a child is gifted with great power by Lady Magic herself, they may decide to become a guardian for important people or places. It seems that our lovely miss…”

“Natasha.”

“...Natasha… is the Guardian of Hogwarts. Now, does Hogwarts accept her?” 

She felt a rush of warmth, and her outer robe turned gold. 

Dumbledore smiled widely. “Is there anyone  _ special  _ under your protection my dear?”

She grinned. “Not at the moment. I'll update you if I find anyone.” 

Then, she made her way to the Ravenclaw table, sitting down in between two witches.

When the hall finally stopped all staring at her, food appearing, she slumped slightly before looking down at her ring with a grimace. “Coffee Bean’s gonna show up with a troop of Unspeakables if my vitals don’t go down.” 

“Do you need a finger?” The dreamy-eyed witch to her left held out her finger and Natasha eyed her. “Don’t worry. The muggle bean won’t notice if it’s only for a minute.”

Snorting, Natasha slid the ring off her finger and onto the girl’s. “I’m Natasha.”

“Luna Lovegood.” 

The girl, she decided, was curious but friendly and definitely not a threat. “Thank you for that. You must be a seer. Your eyes are a wonderful gold.”

The boy with short black hair across from them looked at her weirdly “Her eyes are blue, not gold.”

“You can see my eyes?” Luna laughed, the sound like bells. “You’re her! Grandmother says such great things about you!” She tilted her head. “Although she is concerned about the ring. She says you should be wearing it.” 

A hand passed back the ring.

Putting it back on, Natasha scowled deeply. “Yes, well tell Mother that I’ll throw it in the lake and then get into a fight with a group of Death Eaters if she doesn't leave me alone. She  _ knows  _ I will.”

Luna covered her mouth, laughter peeling out anyway and attracting the eyes of several around the hall. “Oh! Your mother is in quite a mood! She- She seems to be sulking!”

“Yeah. She does that.” Natasha sighed, poking the food on her plate. 

A loud cawing and then a black hawk flew down, landing on her shoulder. 

She smiled sweetly at the bird, scratching at its head. “Hey Clint. Sorry I had to leave you for so long...”

“Look at that! She’s talking to a bird!” One of the older Ravenclaws sneered at her. “She’s probably as crazy as  _ Loony  _ Lovegood!”

The Hawk cried in indignation and she shushed him. “It's okay Barton. You knew this was going to happen... Kiwi, Toast, Cinnamon, they all warned me about this. Same with the hat. And you  _ can’t  _ claw his eyes out.”

“What a  _ freak _ !”

Natasha shook her head, putting a few slices of cheese and some crackers into a napkin, smiling at Luna and lowering her voice. “I have my own room, being a guardian. It’s the one with the two lovers in the spirit of Christmas.” 

She knew that Luna would be smart enough to find the portrait of the two giggling women under mistletoe, and then excused herself from the hall.


	4. Cold Pizza is Amazing, You're Just Cowards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> So just a fun fact: Luna's a second generation seer, and since seers are considered the daughters of Lady Magic (as they're usually female), Luna refers to Lady Magic as 'Grandmother' sometimes.  
> Also, Luna makes reference to Lady Magic claiming Natasha as her child and therefore sees the read-head as family.

A knock of the door to her private rooms was unexpected, and a knife was in her hand as she pushed the door open. 

Luna was crying, a green slime dripping off her as she stood in the doorway. “Gran said- she said to come here…”

Waving the girl in, Natasha shut the door and put her knife away. With a single thought, a few towels and a clean set of dragon hide robes flew to her hand and she led the girl to the bathroom. “Go ahead and take a shower.”

Starting a fire in the fireplace, Natasha waited for the sound of water to start. “Colt? Glock?” 

Two house elves appeared, the Department of Mysteries crest on their chests. “Missis N’tashy be calling?” 

“Can you please get me some New York style pizza and a cup of tea?”

With a pop, the elves were gone, appearing a second later with the two food items. She bowed her head. “Thank you both. Please get some rest.”

“Missis N’tashy is too kind.”

Natasha smiled as the elves disappeared, turning to where Luna was standing in the somewhat loose robes, long hair wet from the shower. Waving Luna in front of the fireplace she had going, Natasha felt her anger rise. “Who did this?” 

Luna shook her head, not looking at her.

Natasha realized that her eyes were glowing, face in a snarl. Compartmentalizing her anger, Natasha just sat down and called a brush to her hand, starting to brush out the fine blonde hair. “I’m not mad Luna. Just…” With a deep breath, Natasha the tension in her body fade. “I, Natasha, daughter of Light and Dark, place Luna Lovegood under my protection. Any harm or ill will upon her will be equaled back thrice.”

Luna smiled. “Gran was right… You really are special.”

Natasha tapped Luna’s wrist, and a golden trail of stars shimmered into existence, symbolizing the bond. “Now no one will hurt you. And if they do…” She trailed off.

Luna just looked content. “Can I stay here?”

Natasha nodded. “I can transfigure the couch into a bed.” She did so and in turn Luna handed her a sheet of paper. 

“Your schedule. You have classes with everyone. Transfiguration, Defense, Potions, and Herbology with the Lions and Snakes… Astronomy and History of Magic with the Badgers and Eagles… Oh! And you have Flying with me too!”

“Ah, I see… Well, lovely. I’m going to retire tonight, but please come wake me if you need anything.” She took the pizza to small kitchen counter, putting a light stasis charm on it so it wouldn't go bad.

“Goodnight.” Was the girl’s airy call after her.

Natasha turned in her doorway, smile on her face. “Goodnight.”

 

Luna woke up, wandering into the kitchen to find Natasha reading a thick tome about time travel and eating the cold pizza. 

“Is that some sort of muggle food?”

“Huh?” Natasha blinked up at her, before smiling. “Oh, this…”

Luna sat down across from her.

“In my  _ last  _ life ... my best friend got me into the habit of eating cold pizza. We would order pizza and forget about it, end up eating it in the morning… One of the safe-houses we had, there was no power, so we ate it cold. Somehow after that it became a habit.” Natasha shrugged. “I thought that breakfast would be too much drama.”

Luna tilted her head. “May I?”

“Go right ahead.”

They ate in silence, Luna seeming to enjoy the strange food. 

“So what classes do you have today?” 

Luna pulled out a wrinkled paper that was slightly stained from the goo. “ Defense, Herbology and History of Magic.”

“I’ll walk you to Defense, my Transfiguration class is nearby.”

They walked in a sort of companionable air, talking lightly about the different types of magical creatures. When people started eyeing Luna though, Natasha slung an arm around the smaller girl’s shoulder, making the eyes advert.

With a smile, Luna skipped into the class.

Natasha was about to leave when a blonde man in fashionable robes locked eyes on her, striding forward with arms outstretched like he wanted a hug. “Ah! There she is! The lovely Miss Natasha I’ve heard all about!” 

She took a step back, eyes narrowing slightly. “And who are you?”

His face went into a forced smile, laugh dry. “You seem to have missed the introductions last night, Miss Natasha.” He turned to the class of first-years, most of the girls sighing deeply. “I’m Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin  _ third class _ , honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League and-”

“Are you sure?”

The man seemed to freeze, blue eyes sliding to her. “About what?”

“I'm a member of the Dark Force Defense League… and I don't remember you at any of the meetings.”

“Impossible!” 

She raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes, well I am mostly too busy for meetings. Don’t you have a class to go to?”

With a smirk, she bowed. “Please resume your long and  _ frivolous  _ introduction, Mr. Lockhart. I have Transfiguration to go to.”

She felt eyes of her back as she made her way out.

 

Natasha entered the transfiguration classroom, bowing her head to the cat sitting on the table. “Professor. I apologize for being late. I got caught up in Mr. Lockhart's lies.”

A girl in the front frowned at her. “Professor Lockhart’s a great teacher!”

“Oh. Yes. Great teacher. How funny... What’s your take Professor?” Natasha glanced back at the cat.

The cat shifted seamlessly into a tall witch with kind eyes. “Natasha. You never did fall for that trick.”

“No, i’m afraid not Minerva… Want me to help you teach? I’m really not even sure why i’m here since I have my NEWTs already.” 

Minerva McGonagall looked pleased at the suggestion. “I do have a lot of assignments to grade…”

“I’ll grade the summer assignments.” Sliding into the chair behind a large desk, Natasha waved her hands, the papers re-arranging to form neat piles. “Oh and I meant to tell you, I think Cinnamon's sort of developed a psychological response to getting your letters. He cringes before even opening them.” 

“Yes, well he deserves it for taking your dumb ideas.” 

Natasha chuckled.

The woman’s glare turned sharp. “This is not funny Natasha! You cannot ask someone to test your response to waterboarding! And appealing to him through his own curiosity-” The woman huffed.

“Still funny.”

“You were  _ half dead _ when I found you!”

Natasha snapped her fingers, a highlighter appearing in her hand. “Are you not supposed to be teaching... Professor?”

Minerva turned to find the whole class staring at them and flushed lightly, before gaining back her stern outward appearance. “Yes… Class if you can open your books to page twenty, we are going to be transfiguring matchsticks into needles.”

Natasha was half-way through the stack of papers, when a boy with messy black hair and a particular scar managed to set his match on fire instead of turning it into a needle. 

His face was irritated and she could tell the girl to his right wasn’t helping with her nagging.

Making her way over, Natasha calmly put her hand over the match, ignoring the girl’s cry of ‘What are you doing?’ and pinched her fingers. A wave of heat spread up her arm, and when she let go, the fire was extinguished. 

“Whoa… How’d you do that?” The ginger haired boy to her right gaped at her.

“Ancient Mayan fire spell.” She looked at the boy with the big glasses and messy hair. “It seems like you’re a little frustrated. Need some help?”

The boy eyed her, green eyes wary, but he eventually shrugged. “Sure.”

“When you cast the spell in your mind, you have to imagine what you want it to do. Magic is all about intent. That’s why most people can't cast the killing curse, their heart’s not in it... Just imagine your match being replaced by a needle.”

The boy squinted at the match and it exploded into tiny pieces, the class around them laughing.

“Okay. So you’re trying too hard.” She pulled out another match from a nearby box. “You just have to tell your magic that you want a needle.” 

The boy watched as the match seemed to turn into a liquid substance in her hands. Natasha pulled both ends so it was a little longer, and then used the boy’s quill to make a hole. After another second, it solidified into a shiny sliver needle. 

The boy frowned. “I’m not sure I can do that.”

“Sure you can.” She pushed the matchbox towards the boy. “Try it. One more time.”

Green eyes concentrated on the needle, and it became fluid, like she’d done. Settling her more slender hands over his, she guided his pulling it out, and poking the hole.

The boy was then holding a needle.

Minerva smiled. “10 points to Gryffindor for such impressive teamwork.”

Natasha smiled down at the boy. “My name’s Natasha.”

The boy looked at her outstretched hand, before taking it. “Nice to meet you, Natasha.”

She tilted her head. “I thought you Brits were so polite? What’s your name kid?”

Minerva buried her head in her hands.

The boy’s eyes widened. “Um- I’m Harry Potter.”

She let her memory pull up everything she knew about the boy, before squeezing his hand gently and letting it go. “Well, Harry Potter, I think I know you.” The boy seemed to cringe like he was expecting her to attack him. “Yeah… Sirius Black talks about you. Really funny stories… Your parents were really funny”

Green eyes looked confused. “Who?”

Natasha knew that the boy hadn’t met the man yet, and in turn the scruffy man wasn’t dead yet. Sirius was destined to die in three years. 

She’d gone to talk to the man a few times this past year, and found that the dementors seemed to almost obey her in a way. She had been going once a week before she came to school, but gave the dementors strict orders to stay away from him when she was gone. “I visit Azkaban all the time with the other Unspeakables. Kiwi and Cinnamon thought that I should see the prison system, but I mostly go back to talk to Siri. He’s quite the storyteller y’know.”

Minerva glowered. “Cinnamon? Again? And Kiwi? I’m disappointed in her.” 

Natasha smirked at the witch. “He’s missed your letters... you should write him.”

“Oh I will.” 

With a nod to Harry, Natasha returned to grading papers, smirking when she saw Minerva writing furiously. 

Cinnamon would be getting a pretty nasty howler if the look on the Professor's face was any indication.


	5. Missis Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking somewhere along here I'll start building a ship for Natasha and someone else.  
> Any suggestions?

Natasha wandered through the halls to the Potion lab, still managing to be one of the first students in the classroom. A dark-haired man looked up at her with a sneer. “So… the guardian appears.”

“Hello. My name’s Natasha. You must be Severus Snape." She held out her hand. "The Head Unspeakable talks about you in high regard. It’s a pity you were not available for private lessons.”

The man’s sneer deepened as he casually ignored her outstretched arm. “I have no time for  _ entitled brats _ .”

Natasha felt her smile fall, the casual rejection burning. “Ah. Well, sorry for wasting your time Professor Snape.”

 

She should be used to the sneers, the disgust. 

She’d lived as a shadow, a killer for most of her life. 

However, those few years of being a hero, helping people had changed that. People had loved her, respected her even.

The Red Room had never let her be good at things. Never said anything positive, only negative. She'd never been good enough.

Then Clint came along, proud and so...  _ good _ . The Avengers with their selfless bravery and caring... Natasha had been smothered in so much  _ love _ . 

Being here, in this world that wasn’t her own, with none of her family by her side... She tired to keep a hold on her indifferent persona, telling herself that she could be a hero again, help people again just like back in her past life...

But every time someone just threw her to the side, it chipped away at that hope.

 

Natasha was quiet for the rest of class, humming as she mixed her potion with an ease that the Unspeakables (and years of cooking for the Avengers) had taught her.

Memories floated up. Wanda and Vision smiling as they accidentally messed up a recipe, baking cookies with Clint when he couldn’t sleep, Bruce and her making food for team movie nights… She felt the nostalgia start to get to her and immediately shoved the memories away.

Half-way through class she was cleaning up her bench, potion sealed away in a small vile, perfectly done. Not surprising considering she'd leaned how to brew by working with healers in St. Mungos.

A blonde boy standing off to her side frowned at her. “How’d you get done so fast?”

“I used to cook for my family.” 

She could hear Tony laughing as he set the oven on fire again ,  DUM-E rushing in with a fire extinguisher and dousing him in foam, Clint shouting about ruining the popcorn he was holding.

The boy sneered, a similar one to the Professor’s. “What are you, a  _ muggleborn _ ?”

“ I actually grew up in a training facility for child soldiers. I was tortured daily....” Natasha leaned in, eyes glinting dangerously and the boy took a step back. “I was raised to  _ kill _ .”

“Enough!” A hand hit the bench and the noise had her stumbling back off her stool. 

In an instant a knife was in her right hand, the other thrown up in defense. She could feel her heart miss a beat. The face in front of her seemed to blur, and for a second a man holding a bloody scalpel was standing there. T he hand that didn’t have the knife flew to her stomach, her nails digging into he skin there, a terrified whisper on her lips. “I- i'm sorry...”

She blinked and Snape’s face was back in front of her, sneering. “I don’t care  _ who  _ you are there will be no fighting, with words or otherwise, in my classroom.”

Natasha blinked, nodding, before heading for the door. “My potion is done. Now, excuse me sir, I need some air.”

“You are not dismissed!”

She spun around in the doorway, eyes burning with fire. “I think I will excuse myself, Professor, before I accidentally end up _killing_ _you_.”

 

Natasha went out on the hill overlooking the lake, conjuring up dummies to attack her, so she could tear them apart with her knives. She was only thirty minutes in when there was a loud crack, and a squad of Unspeakables appeared, wands raised.

Without thinking, she tore apart the last two dummies, before sitting down heavily.

“Natasha?” Kiwi, an avid lover of the strange fuzzy fruit and owner of one of the best smiles, approached her slowly. “What happened love?”

Natasha's voice was hoarse, betraying her emotions. “I’m not sure I belong here. And not just at Hogwarts. Here. In this world. I'm so... alone. No one I knew, no one I loved... I'm not sure I can do it.”

The woman sat down slowly, nodding to her team, who portkeyed back. “You remember that story you told me? About the little girl who was raised without a fear in the world? And how she eventually realized she wasn’t fearless, she was just afraid of being weak?... How upset you were that your body was younger than your mind?”

Natasha looked down at her hands. “You’re gonna say that i’m afraid again.”

“I am.”

“Tasha!” Luna ran over, a smile on her face. “It’s almost time for dinner!”

Kiwi nudged her shoulder. “You see? You have one friend.”

Natasha sighed. “Yeah... ” 

The slender Unspeakable pulled her into a side-hug.  “Fear keeps us alive Natasha.”

Then Natasha was walking back with Luna, glancing back to see Obsidian appear and hold out a hand for Kiwi, both of them disappearing.

“You know, for a fruit, she’s not wrong.” Luna's eyes were kind.

Smiling crookedly, Natasha nodded. “I know.”

 

Dinner was fairly loud and Natasha entered somewhat to the back, moving to the Gryffindor table. “May I?” She looked at the boy she’d helped in transfiguration. 

“Oh- um- sure.” He looked surprised at her asking.

“Do people usually barge into your space without asking?” Natasha eyed him closely. 

“That’s one way of putting it.”

Natasha sat down and winked at the boy. “No one will bother you with me next to you. Didn’t you hear?” She lowered her voice. “ _ I’m 'strange' _ .” 

The boy’s smile was understanding. “We all are I think.”

Natasha noticed that a girl across the table from them was glaring at her. She turned to look at the ginger-haired girl with appraising eyes. “And who are you, with your cutting eyes?”

“I’m Ginny. Ginny Weasley.”

“Nice to meet you. Are you in any chance related to the two idiots that I hear are the pranksters of the school?” The girl’s lips thinned, while Harry and the girl on the other side of Ginny both snorted. 

“Are you talking about  us, guardian?" Two boys appeared out of seemingly thin air.

"Be careful, or someone might think you have-

"a crush on us.” Two ginger-haired twins ginned as they sat down next to her.

She chuckled. “Down boys. I was only calling you names. If I  _ really  _ liked you, I'd probably beat you up.”

Both twins grinned. “Go ahead _ ,  _ my-

“-dear  _ guardian _ .”

Ginny huffed, going back to stabbing her food and muttering under her breath. “ _ Tart _ .”

Natasha felt her hand twitch, but continued talking with the twins.

 

Luna walked with her back to the rooms. 

“Are you ever planning on going back to your dorm?”

Luna’s smile was a little sad. “I can… but the other girls are infested with nargles.”

A quiet whisper in the back of her brain told her that Luna meant that the girls weren’t nice to her, and with a soft smile Natasha ruffled the girl’s hair. “I'll see what I can do… Colt?”

The little elf appeared. “Yes Missis N’tashy?”

“Could you make up another bed in my room? I’m sure I have more than enough space for Luna here.”

The elf eyed Luna. “Missis Moon is under protection?”

“Yes Colt. Please get Miss Moon anything she needs.” With a nod the house elf disappeared. Natasha turned to a smiling Luna. “That’s Colt. She can help you with anything, just ask.”

“Thank you!” Luna gave her a large hug and Natasha could feel herself stiffen slightly. No one but Obsidian and Lavender even tried to give her hugs. 

Her mind went back to Clint’s kids and how adorably clingy they were. She felt her eyes burn with unshed tears. “You’re welcome.”


	6. The Trouble With Faeries

Luna laughed cheerily as she dragged Natasha to breakfast by one of her hands. “Tahsa’s really grumpy! Tasha’s really grumpy!”

Natasha growled. “I am not a morning person. Unlike you, who seems to be a person that embodies pure bloody  _ sunshine _ .”

“We’re late! We’re late!”

“For very important date… yes  _ I get it, _ Mad Hatter.”

As the doors opened, a loud screeching voice met Natasha’s ears and she flinched back. “-DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER’S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK AND IT’S  _ ENTIRELY  _ YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE-”

Natasha groaned loudly. “Oh SHUT UP!” 

There was a solid thunk, and the howler made a pitiful whine from where it was now nailed to the side of someone’s book with her knife.

“ _ Colt _ .” The elf appeared. “ _ Coffee _ .”

After she had downed a mug of coffee and it had refilled, she grimaced, walking over to where a fourth year was holding the book with her knife in it, hands shaking. 

“Sorry about that. I’m not a morning person, as you can see.” She pulled the knife out, stashing it in her robes. “I really didn’t mean to frighten you.” 

The girl looked up at her, terrified. “P- please don’t hurt me…”

Natasha touched the girl’s hand lightly, sending a shock through it, and the girl’s mind forgot what had just happened. “There you are. I  seem to have accidentally cast the wrong sort of spell. It must’ve hit your book… and some of the pages are ruined, i’m afraid.”

The girl blinked, looking down at her book. “Great...” The girl started complaining loudly about children and how they didn’t know what to cast. 

Natasha felt the room’s eyes on her as she sat down next to Luna and hid her face in the girl’s hair. “I should’ve stayed in bed...”

“Well then you wouldn’t have gotten to use your knives...”

Natasha grinned into the blonde hair. “Shhh. Stop using my weaknesses against me.”

Luna laughed.

 

Natasha found herself in the back of Defence, frowning at Lockhart. 

“Let me introduce you to your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher…. Me.” Lockhart glided down the stairs and she rolled her eyes. “Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League...” 

She snorted, earning glares from some of the girls and appraising looks from the boys. Lockhart just continued, happy to pretend she didn’t exist. 

“...and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.”

Natasha could practically feel the tension build in the class as the man talked about ‘dangerous’ and ‘foul’ creatures and felt like she wanted to scream just by being in this class.

With a whoosh, the cage was revealed to cage tiny blue pixies.

“Cornish pixies?” One boy grinned.

“ _ Freshly caught _ Cornish pixies!” 

A few boys laughed at the man.

“Laugh if you will Mr. Finnigan, but pixies can be-” Lockhart started another rant and Natasha ducked under her seat, as not to draw attention to herself. 

“Glock? It’s a code blue.” The elf appeared silently, but before he could speak, she continued. “I need a jar of honey and a handful of the shiniest buttons you can find that’ve been lost.” 

With a nod, the elf disappeared and then reappeared a second later.

Collecting the items, Natasha smiled. “Thank you Glock. You may return.” Then once the elf was gone, she sat back up in her chair, untwisting the honey until the lid was almost off.

“-Let’s see what you make of them.” Lockhart did as she feared, releasing the little creatures. Chaos broke out, the tiny blue pixies flying around, terrorizing the kids and messing up the classroom. Books were torn apart, the classroom demolished.  A boy was hung on the candelabra and Natasha sighed.

_ Useless. _

She broke the seal on the honey. “I, Daughter of Light and Dark…” She saw some of the pixies looked at her curiously. “Invoke a fey trade. You must respond to my trade or be gone.”

At that, all of the pixies stopped and like they had one mind, the pixies flew into a swirling mass that congealed, a small girl with wings and shimmery hair sitting on a desk in front of Natasha. Her voice was like molasses.“And what is the name you offer?”

Natasha’s eyes were amused. “I do not offer a name, fey. I offer a deal.”

A laugh and the girl grinned, teeth sharp. “A smart one, you are. Yes, we will talk deals.” The girl glanced down at the honey.

“I will trade your freedom, the sweetest honey magic can make, and the shine from the lost things children can’t find… in exchange for one favor from the fey to be decided at a later date.”

The fey clapped. “Oh you  _ are  _ tricky!” The eyes darted to the buttons and the honey. “I accept. Cages are not fun… Are you sure you won’t offer up your name, Daughter of Light and Dark?”

“Not to you, beautiful fey, but we must officiate the deal.”

The fey winked, leaning forward to grab her face and kiss her deeply, then with the tinkle of bells, she was gone along with the honey and the shine from the buttons. 

Natasha wiped her mouth, frowning. “Disgusting. Tastes like rotten fish.”

She turned to the class, all of which were staring at her.

“What?”

Lockhart smiled tightly. “That’s not how I would have done it... Now Miss Natasha, if you would return my pixies?”

Natasha carefully waved her hand, so the boy hanging from the ceiling was let down, before she looked at Lockhart with an amused smirk. “How  _ naive  _ you are... I let them go. Free. They wouldn’t come back even if I asked.  _ And I won’t _ . Do you know what it’s like for fey to be trapped in an iron cage?” She stalked forward. “It drives them mad. It’s like dementors to us humans! They slowly become less and less sane. Be glad you didn’t keep them in there for long or they would have started with  _ eating the kids _ , not tearing up their books!”

“Detention Miss Natasha! You will not speak to your teacher like this!”

She huffed. “Yes, well I have to get out of here or I fear the  _ stupidity  _ in the air will infect me too.” 

Giggles followed her out.

 

Natasha and Luna stayed mostly together during the classes they shared, and Natasha found herself helping with Luna’s astronomy projects when Luna would start talking animatedly and forget what she was supposed to be doing. 

It was a strangely familiar type of thing that she’d do for Clint on missions, and left a strange longing in her gut.

The Ravenclaws (other than a few groups that liked to tease her and Luna) were pleasant and even if they didn’t like her, they liked the information and help she could give. 

Luna walked with her to detention, and gave her a hug. “He’s infested with the worst kind of nargles, ones that make his head too big.”

Natasha laughed. “Yes he is… I’ll see you at dinner, Moon, but I have detention with the fool.”

“Make sure you don’t get bitten by his nargles! I hear they’re contagious!”

Natasha grinned as the girl skipped away, but let the grin fade when she opened the door. The dimly lit classroom already had two people in it and Harry Potter looked up in surprise when she entered.

“Ah! Miss Natasha! Come in, Harry and I are just getting started!”

She looked at the envelopes and had a sinking feeling. “On what?”

“I am going to be signing these pictures while you two sort out my fan mail!” Lockhart’s smile was blinding and she wanted to see it bloody with teeth missing. “Three piles please! One for the adoring fans, one for the mediocre fans, and you can toss the threats and other letters in the fire.”

She and Harry glanced at each other and then with a sigh, got started on the letters.

“Professor? I’m really sorry about earlier, what with my being on… My lady cycle and everything.” She saw both Lockhart and Harry squirm. “But… I wasn’t allowed to read your books. The Unspeakables banned them because they feared I would fall in love with you.”

The man smiled widely, eyes shining at the praise. Luna wasn’t far off the mark as usual. “Yes, well I can see why. Many young ladies do profess their undying devotion to me.”

Natasha snorted quietly, before letting her eyes soften at the man. “Well… I can’t really tell what these card say without opening them… plus maybe if your fans love you so much I might be inclined to… read your books without the Unspeakables knowing.”

“Go right ahead! Read away my dear! The Unspeakables should know better than to limit your knowledge of the fantastic journey I've been on, the knowledge that could come-”

She ignored his rant, leaning over to Harry. “Now I can open any of his mail. He just gave me access… But I still think he’s a phony.”

Harry smiled down at a letter in his hands, voice hushed. “Brilliant...” 

By the end of the detention she’d made copies of four interesting letters she’d found, tucked safely into her robes pocket, and vowed to visit Gringotts soon.

 


	7. The Chamber of- What?

Natasha was outside, sitting and reading a book that Obsidian had sent over about occlumency, when raised voices made her look up. 

The Slytherin and Gryffindor Quidditch teams were arguing, the two children that followed Harry around facing off against the snarky blonde boy from potions. The  bushy-haired witch was speaking. “At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to  _ buy  _ their way in, they all got in on pure talent.”

The blonde, Malfoy, stepped closer to the girl. “No one asked your opinion, you filthy little  _ mudblood _ .”

Standing, she put her book aside. “I think that was quite rude, Mr. Malfoy.” The group turned to look at her. “Please apologize.” 

“Why would I? What are you going to do? You're a  _ mudblood  _ too.”

Natasha drew out one of her knives, flipping it easily in her hand. 

The group around Harry and Malfoy took a step back. 

“Do you know how  _ mudbloods  _ torture people? Not that fancy little curse you wizards use… no, we use something called waterboarding. We place a rag in your mouth and pour water onto it, until you have no choice but to breath in water, until you _suffocate_ in it. Then we let you catch your breath, but only for a second.” She stepped closer. “We do this again and again… and again… Until you’re half-dead and all you can do is try to breath in as much water as you can, hoping to Merlin _that this time it'll be your last_ -”

“ **Natalia**!”

The knife was instantly gone from her hand as she looked up to where Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape were heading her way. “Minerva. You know that's not my name.”

The woman ignored that. “What do you _think_ you're _doing_?”

Natasha smiled. “Miss, he called me and my friend mudbloods. I’m simply answering his question. He  _ did  _ ask what I was going to do.”

McGonagall’s glare turned on Malfoy. “You know that kind of language is unacceptable Mr Malfoy!” Then her piercing eyes were back onto Natasha. “And you, Natalia Aliano-”

“That’s  _ not my NAME _ !” She felt her eyes flash green, nails digging into her palms. “You  _ know  _ who gave me that name. You know  _ what they did _ .”

Minerva pursed her lips, eyes betraying her guilt. “ _ Natasha _ … I will be calling on the Unspeakables.”

“Fine.” Her voice was a growl. “I’ll meet you there.” 

Then she twisted her ring once, activating the portkey in it.

 

Natasha found herself standing in the hall of prophecies. Now empty of the glass orbs, it was both her living quarters and space for her lessons.

“Natasha?” She turned to see Lavender frowning at her. “What are you doing here sweetheart?”

“Minerva will be by soon to explain…”

The tall woman with wrapped her in a hug, the flowery scent drifting though the air. “Oh darling… I thought that we had made the right choice putting a portkey into your ring...”

Minerva stormed in, followed by Obsidian and Coffee Bean. “What were you thinking! You know better than to blatantly threaten another child! You’re a _guardian_ for Merlin’s sake”

“I was only explaining the method used by muggles to waterboard someone.” Obsidian hid his chuckle in a cough. “Plus, he called that girl and me mudbloods!”

Coffee Bean cut in before Minerva could start on another rant. “May I ask who this child is?”

“Malfoy.” Natasha scowled. 

“Ah yes… the son of Lucius.” Obsidian pulled her into a side-hug, smiling down at her as he lowered his voice. “I don’t think you were wrong in what you did. It might teach the boy a lesson.”

Coffee Bean sighed. “Yes, well, either way Natasha has to reign in her temper." He turned to Minerva. "We'll have her stay here for the rest of the day, as i’m sure she misses everyone, and she'll be back with you by dinner.”

Minerva’s face pinched, but she nodded before looking to Natasha. “Very well. I expect to see you in class tomorrow Natasha.”

“Wouldn’t miss grading your papers!” Natasha called as the woman walked away. 

Minerva gave her one last glare, flooing away.

“She’s going to be irritated at me for awhile, isn’t she...”

“Most likely.” Coffee Bean sighed. “Why do you cause trouble everywhere you go?”

“It’s fun?” Natasha could tell the man didn’t like her answer, shaking his head as he walked away.

 

Natasha slumped down next to Luna at dinner. 

It had been good to see the Unspeakables. Ladybug had even stopped by to say hello and give her some sweets to take back with her. Also, the letters to Lockhart were being studied before copies were sent to the goblins. “Hey Moon. Anything interesting happen while I was out?”

The girl’s eyes were misty. “ _ The chamber of secrets has been opened… Enemies of the heir, beware. _ ” Then Luna blinked and her wide smile was back like it never left. “Hey Tasha! When’d you get back? You missed Flying!”

Natasha nodded slowly. “Right. Flying… Luna, did mother say anything about a ‘Chamber of Secrets’?”

“Oh yeah! Gran said that the snake is out!”

Natasha jumped up from the table, ruffling the girl's hair. “I have to go Missis Moon, but i’ll see you tonight.”

The hall ignored her as she raced out, the students seemingly used to her weird habit of not staying long for meals.

 

Natasha closed her eyes, walking slowly with her hand on the wall guiding her. “Come on. Talk to me you old building. Tell me your secrets.”

The wall beneath her hand seemed to warm and she sucked in a breath as she found herself standing in some sort of underground room, white marble all around her. 

A man with a long almost royal face and gleaming silver eyes appeared, and slowly circled her like a predator eyeing its prey.  _ “So… you are the guardian. A mere girl. How quaint.” _

His voice was hissed, but she found the words were no different to her mind than English or Russian (or any of the other languages she could speak). 

“I am Natasha, Daughter of Lady Magic and Death themselves. You are beneath me, Salazar Slytherin, not me beneath you.” She looked down, surprised to find she was the way she looked when Thanos had killed her, but disregarded that for pushing up both her sleeves to show the marks.

_ “A speaker… and quite a powerful one at that. Very well."  _ Salazar sat back in a chair that seemed to just appear out of thin air. _ "Abaddon will answer when you call.” _

“Abaddon?” Natasha tilted her head.

Salazar grinned, eyes glittering.  _ “My familiar.” _

 

Natasha was shaken back to herself and looked up to see Snape sneering at her, black eyes glinting. “Wandering the hallways so late at night? 50 points from Gryffindor for breaking curfew  _ so bravely _ , and I expect to see you after class tomorrow for detention.”

“I-” She looked around, seeing she was in an unfamiliar hallway. “I seem to have been sleepwalking Professor. If I may, where am I?”

Snape eyed her. “The second floor. Near the girl’s bathrooms.”

“Then is it at all possible that I could have needed to go to the bathroom and happened upon this hall?” She hoped she looked as innocent as she could, seeing as she had no idea how she had gotten here.

Snape’s sneer was back. “Very well, Miss Natasha. I will give back the points, but the detention stays.”

Natasha frowned. “But-”

“For threatening one of my students.” The man spun on his heel, stalking out.

“Asshole.” Natasha muttered, glancing at the doorway she’d been about to enter, committing it to memory before she turned back to her rooms.

Transfiguration was painfully easy for Natasha, so she was back to grading papers again, half-listening as Minerva gave instruction. 

When the Weasley boy was asked to demonstrate the spell, she glanced up, interested. He was horrible at spell work and with a broken wand... well it would be entertaining to say the least.

However, her eyes caught the rat in front of him and she frowned deeply, thoughts going back to the story Sirius had told her time and time again. 

The story of his innocence.

Pulling out a paper, she wrote a quick note to Obsidian asking him about the rat and that she wanted to go see Sirius Black soon.

Whistling sharply, there was a cry as Clint swooped in and landed on her arm. He grabbed the note with a talon, and she stroked back his feathers. “Go to Obsidian, Clint. He’ll know what to do.”

With another cry, the bird swooped back out.

She looked up, to where Minerva was frowning at her. “Something to share Natasha?”

“Not a thing Professor.” Natasha looked back down to the paper.

“Professor? I was wondering if you could tell us about… the Chamber of Secrets.”  Natasha’s head snapped up to where McGonagall was looking at the girl, Granger. 

McGonagall drew in a long breath, starting to explain the story that she’d been told when she’d asked Coffee Bean after reading about the Chamber in _'Hogwarts: A History'_. About the founders, how Slytherin didn’t like the magical muggle-borns, ect.

What was more interesting, however, was the glares between Granger and Malfoy.

Natasha snorted quietly. 

How did they not see it? It was like Tony and Steve! Two smart, emotionally-constipated fools... Granger and Malfoy  _ liked  _ each other.

“-before departing, he sealed it, until that time when his own true heir would return to the school. The heir alone would be able to open the chamber and unleash the  _ horror  _ within, and by so doing, purge the school of all those who in Slytherin’s view, were unworthy to study magic…”

“Muggleborns.” Granger’s voice was soft. “Professor? What exactly does legend tell us lies within the chamber?”

“Well the chamber, is said to be home to something that only the heir of Slytherin can control. It is said… to be the home of a monster.”

Natasha figured that had something to do with Luna’s ‘snake’ comment.

It seemed this year was going to be more interesting than she'd previously thought.


	8. Third-Party Quidditch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha gets hurt. Angst-ish?

After another useless Defence class and History of Magic with Professor Binns where Natasha just doodled in her notebook, Luna dragged her past the hallway to the dungeons, outside. “Luna! I have a detention with Snape.”

“The bat is with everyone else out at the pitch though!” 

Natasha saw everyone gathering to get into the stands and sighed. “Fine. Let’s go then.”

She watched the people soar through the air in wonder. “Is this what I keep missing in flying?”

Luna nodded. “Yup!”

“I should actually go to that class…” Natasha watched the kids soar through the air, and her first thought was  _ Clint would love this _ . “What’s Harry doing? Why’s he just sitting there?”

A boy next to them leaned over. He was quiet, but Natasha had seen him around in Herbology. Neville was his name, if she remembered correctly. “Harry’s the seeker. He’s bloody brilliant at it, the youngest in history. He has to find the small golden ball with wings. Right now he’s-”

The crowd gasped as a ball the size of a dinner plate flew straight at Harry, breaking through one of the boy’s brooms. Luckily the boy avoided it barely, but it turned mid-air and came back at him.

Standing, Natasha quickly snapped, appearing instantly on the field under where the boy was falling. 

“Ohit looks like we have a new player on the field! The guardian appears!”

Casting a glare at the boy talking into the microphone, she waved her hands and a large net caught the falling Gryffindor, making it so he bounced, before being lowered to the ground. 

The net disappeared and she cast off her golden outer robe, flexing her forearms and feeling both symbols heat up. “Mothers, I call upon your powers, help me protect this place I guard and give me my true form.”

Clapping her hands together, she a rush of magic, and looked down to see she was in her black catsuit, hair cut short as it had been when she’d died but still red. She was more comfortable, being as she’d been in this body longer than she’d been a child. 

“And what a  _ form  _ she cuts. Give it up for our sexy-”

“Mr. Lee!” Minerva cut the announcer off.

Grinning, Natasha held out a hand, the broom of the boy that had crashed, flying to it. In an instant it was fixed. 

“This shouldn’t be harder than shooting someone off of a snowmobile.” Straddling the thing, she grinned as it moved to her will. “Oh yeah, Clint would  _ love  _ this.”  She rose to the air, watching as the ball smashed through the wooden towers just to try to get to Harry. 

Malfoy and Harry were trying to vie for the small golden ball and she growled.  _ Stupid boys and their need to win. _

They went under the pitch and she frowned, looking around. 

Then Malfoy was flying out, about to crash.

Natasha swooped down, catching him by his robes and setting him down lightly. “Don’t thank me, say you’re sorry to Granger.”

She flew to Harry’s side, where he was reaching for the snitch. “Harry! You have to stop! You’re going to get hurt!”  She saw the bludger off to the side, Harry’s face screwed up in concentration as he reached for the snitch… and decided that she was going to regret waking up this morning. 

Turning so she was in between Harry and the bludger, she caught it with her body, letting it push her off her broom. A sickening snapping sound rung in her ears. 

Closing her eyes, she felt the wind in her hair.

_ “Open your eyes _ child.” A soft voice murmured in her ear.

Natasha’s eyes flew open and she saw the ground approaching fast. 

She thought of her team, how she’d never see them again. Never hear Tony and Steve flirt, see Clint throw food at people, or Barnes and Sam bicker…

Steady arms caught her. “You better not be giving up on me now. We’ve been through worse than  _ this _ .”

Her eyes widened. “Clint?”

The man with tousled blonde hair and steel-gray eyes winked, laid her down on the ground. “Cheer up Natasha. You get to do magic for fuck’s sake!” Then, like Thanos had snapped his stupid fat fingers, he seemed to fade away slowly. “See you around Nat.”

Natasha tried to grab for him, white hot pain flashing through her at the movement, but there was only air. “Clint! Clint please! Come back!” She tried to crawl forward. “No! You can’t leave me! Not again...”

Sad blue eyes met hers. “Natasha. Natasha he’s gone.”

Natasha looked up at Luna, at the crowd watching her and closed her eyes, felt hot tears on her cheeks. “I can’t- I can’t watch them die again...”

With spots dancing around her vision, she blacked out.

 

Natasha woke up to excruciating pain and her eyes flew open. A small woman was standing over her, most of the Unspeakables surrounding her and the bed. 

A cry escaped her and the hands holding her down tightened. 

“I know darling. I know It’s painful, but Poppy’s re-breaking and mending your ribs. Just think about flowers and rainbows and sparkly ponies. I  _ know  _ you love sparkly ponies.”

Hissing she tried to kick at Obsidian but Toast held her firmly down.  “ _Fuck_! That hurts!”

“You got a cursed bludger straight to the chest, sweetheart. It’s going to hurt.”

Coffee Bean smiled down at her from where he was pinning her left arm to the bed. “I’m very proud. Three students are at dinner and not in here because of you. I’m just sad because you didn’t tell us you’d be flying in a Quidditch match... We’d all have shown up.”

“Coffee! I’m go- going to  _ kill  _ you…”

“Now what kind of a thing is that to say to someone who compliments you?” 

Natasha yelled again as more of her bones broke and then were fused together. 

The Head Unspeakable just looked impressed. “I’m surprised you’re awake. Most people would pass out because of the pain.”

Obsidian smirked from under his hood, she could hear it in his voice. “I hear you saved the Malfoy boy.”

“Ob- Obsid-”

“Yes darling?”

“Shut. Up.”

Lavender pushed herself next to Obsidian, the flowery perfume giving her away. “Natasha. Think about the team. You were telling me that Tony and Steve like each other, right?”

She felt her mind move from the pain a bit. “Right. Right I-” She sucked in a breath as another rib broke. “I was telling you about them. There was this on- one time we thought that Tony got kid-  _ Fuck! Fuck that hurts!.. _ Ki-kidnapped. And… Steve- Steve went crazy. Started to- to have F-FRIDAY scan for him…have Clint and I patr- patrol the streets..”

Lavender put a cool hand on her forehead. "Remind me who FRIDAY is?”

“Computer. The one- in- in the ceiling?”

“Oh!” Lavender nodded. “The intelligent one! Right!... So what happened?”

Natasha laughed weakly, before regretting it. “Stark. Tony. He was ju- was just getting- coff-”

“Coffee?” Kiwi chimed in. 

Natasha nodded, a pained smile on her face. 

Orange cut though the mass of Unspeakables. “Here honey. Drink this. It’ll help the pain.”

Doing as told, Natasha felt a numbing sensation pass though her and sighed, slumping back. “That stuff’s better than morphine...” 

Poppy smiled, putting away her wand. “You’re all fixed up child. I want you to get some rest though, stay here for the night.” 

Natasha grinned up at Coffee Bean. “I meant to ask… you all came.”

The man chuckled. “We have Cinnamon, Purple, Ladybug and their teams all watching home base. But your mirror went crazy, started lighting up in all different colors. Imagine our surprise when a spirit catches you and you start calling him Clint. Or the shock that you look like you’re in your mid 30’s. Not to mention how surprised the other students were that we all showed up.”

Natasha pressed her mouth into a flat line. “So it  _ was  _ Clint?”

“Sure it was Tasha! Gran sent him!” 

Natasha smiled over at Luna who was standing by the door.  The seer made her way to the bedside, ignoring the Unspeakables. “She thought it would help ease your homesickness.”

“And who are you?” Obsidian's voice was chilly.

Natasha gripped the man’s hand. “She’s a seer. Second generation. Be nice.”

Luna smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed. “The lemon drop’s looking for you, same with the bat, the cat, and the idiot.” 

The door burst open, Dumbledore striding in along with Minerva, Snape, and Lockhart. “I see that you all have made yourselves quite comfortable. It was a good thing our gaurdian is fast on a broom.” The headmaster's eyes sparkled with something akin to pride.

Coffee Bean nodded to the other Unspeakables. “Well, we might want to give the school their medical wing back. Second and Third will make sure Natasha is okay. The rest of us will go.” Coffee Bean squeezed her hand, then let go, moving away so the others could say goodbye. 

Orange and Kiwi both gave her loose hugs, Lavender leaving a bag of things like books and sweets. They all disappeared with their portkeys until Obsidian and Toast were the only two remaining.

Lockhart’s face looked pinched. “I think that all of us would like to know why you felt it necessary to interrupt a Quidditch match. I feel that this merits a subtraction in points!”  Everyone in the room stared at the man like he was insane and the man looked around like he was waiting for someone to back him up. His face seemed to fall when he realized that wasn't why anyone was here.

Natasha gave the man a thin smile. “Because I am guardian of these students. Because two boys were in danger of falling from extreme heights, and one was in danger of losing his arm! Now if you would excuse me, _Professor_ , but I would like to say goodbye to my family before they leave and get some rest.”

The man’s smile wasn't as shining as usual, but he nodded. “Right... Of course.”

"I do hope you heal well." Dumbledore smiled lightly as he left, Lockhart and Snape following him.

Minerva lingered, eyes flitting over Natasha. She seemed to give in, coming over to squeeze her hand. "If you do something like that again I believe I will retire before the year is out." With a shake of her head, she strode out, muttering about kids and their penchant for dangerous situations. 

Toast chuckled as the doors shut behind the teachers. “You really don’t like Lockhart, do you?”

“Not until he gives me reason to.”

The two men gave her hugs before heading out. 

Luna pressed one of the knives she’d had taken from her into her hand. “The bat has the other two. Goodnight. I’m going back to the room.”

"Goodnight." 

Luna skipped out, waving when she got to the doors, and they closed heavily behind her with a clanging sound. The room devolved into a still silence, the small dying flames of the candles flickering against the stone walls.

Natasha laid back, closing her eyes, and the candles in the room went out. 


	9. S-I-T-W, Snakes in the Walls!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got the song from Phineas and Ferb stuck in my head... that one "Squirrels in My Pants'?   
> Yeah. Fun.  
> So that's the title. Sue me (don't actually sue me, I put up an extra chapter today because I'm nice).
> 
> Also, Fun Fact: Natasha calls Voldyshorts the 'Dark Lord' because i'm too lazy to type out He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named 99% of the time. And also because she's not stupid (or ignorant) enough to use a word with a taboo on it.

“ _ Kill… Kill… Time to… Kill…”  _ A soft voice seemed to come from the ceiling.

Natasha sat up, wincing. “Who’s there?”

_ “Kill…” _

“Hello!”

Natasha jumped, a tiny elf in a sack looking at her with wide eyes. “Um… Hello?”

“Dobby asks guardian to make Harry Potter go home. Harry Potter is not safe here.” Natasha blinked. “Dobby thought his bludger would be enough to make Harry Potter see-”

“Hold up.” She raised an eyebrow. “ _ Your _ bludger? _You_ sent that thing after Harry?”

“Dobby feels much guilt for hurting the guardian…”

“I don’t suppose you can tell me  _ why  _ you’re trying to kill him?”

Dobby shook his head. “Not kill him Missis, never kill him. Dobby remembers how it was before Harry Potter triumphed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We house elves were treated like vermin missis! Of course… Dobby is still treated like vermin.” The elf started to cry.

“Oh come now…” Natasha frowned.

A clunking sound was heard down the corridor.

Dobby jumped. “Listen. Listen! Terrible thing are about to happen at Hogwarts. Harry Potter must not stay here, now that history is to repeat itself.”

“This has happened before?”

The elf gasped, hitting his head on the cabinet next to her. “Bad Dobby! Dooby not supposed to say! Bad Dobb-”

“Stop.” Her voice was low, and the elf stopped, looking at her. “Tell me who’s opening the chamber.”

“No, Dobby cannot say. Harry Potter must be safe.”

“Please. Dobby tell me!”

Another clanging sound, closer this time and Dobby snapped, vaishing. Natasha sighed, slumping back. Footsteps were heard and she slid down on the bed, gritting her teeth and working to level her breathing.

“Put him here.” Shuffling sounds. “What happened?”

“There’s been another attack.” That was Dumbledore.

“I think- I think he’s been petrified.” Minerva sounded fearful, and Natasha closed her eyes, let herself sink into her memories. Petrified… where had she seen- _Of course._ The leader of the house of snakes would have a familiar of the most dangerous snake. 

A basilisk. 

She was so screwed. She was supposed to protect the students from  _ that _ ?

“Perhaps he managed to take a picture of his attacker.”

Natasha opened a eye, looking over to see the film in the camera go up in flame. 

Petrified through a camera lens. Ingenious, yet pure luck.

“What does this mean Albus?”

“It means… that our students are in great danger. It is as we feared Minerva. The Chamber of Secrets has been opened again.”

 

Natasha sat in the back of a large room, ribs still tender, but she could feel her magic healing her slowly, the tree tattoo warm under her skin.

“Gather round!” Lockhart made a grand entrance in his overly fashionable robes. “In light of the dark events of recent weeks, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission the start this little dueling club. To train you all up! In case you ever need to defend ourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions. _For full details, see my published works._ ”

She coughed out a laugh, getting a couple glares for her troubles. Lockhart smiled at the students below him and threw his cloak to a group of girls who all gasped, eyes sparkling.

Natasha gagged.

“Let me introduce my  _ assistant _ , Professor Snape.” Natasha snorted at the glower on the dark-haired man’s face. “He has sportingly agreed to assist me with a light demonstration. Now I don’t want any of you youngsters to worry, you’ll still have your potions master when i’m through with him. Never fear.”

Natasha leaned back. This should prove to be interesting. Snape had been offered the opportunity through the Unspeakables to come and tutor her as he was a Potions Master and a great duelist, but he’d never taken up the offer.

The theatrics aside, it was quite entertaining to see Snape send Lockhart flying, and her ribs hurt as she laughed at the man’s plight.

Lockhart made up some B.S. (bad science) about how he ‘could have blocked it’ and Snape sneered. “Perhaps it would be prudent… to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells.”

Lockhart looked worried for a second and she chuckled. The man turned to look right at her. “Right on, a volunteer pair then! Natasha, Potter, how about you.”  

“Instead of Potter… Might I suggest someone from my own house?” Snape held up his arms. “Malfoy _perhaps_?”

Natasha picked herself up, drawing power from the ground up into her body to give her a boost of energy, before walking slowly up to the end of the dueling platform.

She saw Snape point at the blonde and then walk to the other end of the platform.

Lockhart passed her, winking. “ _ Good luck _ .”

Natasha smiled tightly at him, moving slowly to where Malfoy was standing and held out her hand. “Before we begin, I would like you to know me as Natasha. I usually don't fight except to kill, so fighting a friend is preferable for your fate.”

The boy looked surprised, but shook her hand as he gave her a strange look. “Draco.”

“Wands at the ready!”

The boy held up his wand, and she put up just her right index finger, smile on her lips. “Good luck.” 

They both turned, walking to opposite ends.

Draco raised his wand and she just snapped, a cane appearing in her hand that she then leaned on. “I do seem a bit sore… Must be my broken ribs...” She winked at Harry, who looked concerned.

Lockhart's voice raised over the uneasy chattering among the students. “On the count of three, cast your charms to disarm your opponent.  _ Only  _ to disarm. We don’t want any accidents here. One… Two…”

“Tarantallegra!”

She flicked the cane, blocking the spell smoothly. “A dancing jinx. How  _ tame _ . I thought you didn’t like me...”

“Flipendo!” 

Natasha stepped aside, letting that one hit Lockhart, sending him flying backwards. She chuckled. “Though that was quite satisfactory. Thank you.”

“ _Serpensortia_!” 

A black snake appeared, and Harry’s eyes widened, a soft hissing sound coming from him. 

She cleared her throat loudly so no one could hear him, before turning to look at the snake, parseltounge coming out smoothly.  _ “Come here. Do not pay attention to the other speaker, come to me.” _

The snake began to move her way, before a spell hit it and it fizzled out. She looked up to Snape, whose eyes were narrowed.

“What are you playing at?!” One kid cried.

“You didn’t know? I’m a parseltongue. I can talk to snakes.” Natasha leaned back on her cane, sending a quick glance at Harry, whose eyes were wide. 

“Parseltongues are the worst kinds of wizards! They’re dark wizards!” Another kid cried out.

“So be it.” Natasha limped past Lockhart before looking back at the students. “I’m whatever Hogwarts wants me to be. A dark wizard though… Interesting theory.” 

She hummed ‘Build Me Up Buttercup’ as she made her way out.

 

Natasha limped into the Potions lab after another class, cane still in her hand. “Professor Snape. I have detention I believe?” 

The man looked up from where he was writing. “Sit.”

She did, letting the cane dissolve.

“I have heard you have… some  _ interesting  _ markings.”

“Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” Her grin was wide.

Snape scowled, but pulled up his sleeve. “How did you know?”

Natasha got up, sitting on the edge of his desk so she could look at the Dark Mark, pulling his arm close and studying the spell-work. “I got my hands on a list of every Death Eater marked. Unspeakables are very smart y’know.”

The man pulled away his arm. “Your marks now.”

She hummed, pulling up her sleeves. One tattoo in thick black ink, the other thin gold lines that seemed to shift like the tree was swaying in wind. “My guides. Mother Magic and Lady Death.”

Snape reached out a hand, stopping when it was inches away from the golden tree. 

“You can touch it. It’s not going to burn you. I didn’t lace it with  _ garlic _ .”

Snape glared up at her, pulling his hand away. “Yes, well… I require help brewing pain potion. The medical wing seems to be running low.”

“Yeah. I’ve been drinking them all.” Natasha snarked. “How many?”

“Three should be good.”

Natasha waved her hand, watching as the ingredients and cauldron arranged themselves. Snape’s gaze was curious. “I would normally do it by hand, but seeing as I got six of my ribs crushed by a bludger, I think that moving’s not on the list of things that I want to do a lot of today.”

“Six ribs? Why are you moving at all! Should you not be in the hospital wing?”

She shrugged. 

Snape sighed. “Foolish girl. Put it away. We will be playing chess instead. Madam Pomfrey can wait a bit for her potions.”

Natasha did so, eyeing the man. “I promise another detention when I heal. You can give me all your grading or something. That’s all I do during Minerva's classes anyway.”

Snape’s eyes were amused. “I knew she was ahead in her grading for some reason… Fine. But what will you do to earn yourself a detention?”

“Oh? Didn’t you hear?” Natasha tilted her head. “I’m apparently the next Dark Lord. Some Ravenclaw attacked me just today for speaking to snakes and I got another detention. Apparently Potter found another student… Petrified.”

“And how would you know they were petrified?”

“Severus Snape… Always so distrusting. Professor, if I wanted to kill someone I would use my knifes. They leave a lot less of a signature that can link back to me…” She smiled wryly. “By the way, can I have my other two back?”

“No.”

Natasha frowned. “They’re goblin made and I payed for them. Please?”

With a sigh, Snape put one of the two gold daggers, laying it on the desk. “You can have the other when you come back for that other detention. Healed.”

Nodding, she slipped the golden dagger in her boot. “Chess?”

“Chess.”


	10. A Very Criminal Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm toying with the idea of Natasha/Sirius   
> Nothing underage, so don't start throwing things at me yet...  
> Any thoughts?

Most of the students avoided her, but Luna and Harry kept by her side, even if Ron and Hermione (yes, she learned their names) didn’t like her.  Natasha took detentions with Snape, brewing potions or grading papers while she told him about things she’d learned from the Unspeakables. Minerva and her went back to bantering before classes, when she would go quiet, withdrawn unless someone asked her for help.

Soon enough it was Christmas break and she was headed back to the Department of Mysteries. 

Drawing Harry and Luna into hugs, she walked to where Cinnamon and Purple were waiting, nodding to Draco as she passed him. “Well? Can we go see him?”

“For you? Absolutely!” Purple drew her into a hug and Natasha grinned. 

“Come on then! Let’s go!”

With similar chuckles, Purple drew out a portkey and they all grabbed on. 

“ _ Dementor _ .” 

A whoosh and they were drawn away from the peaceful snow-capped landscape, into one of crashing waves and dark energy. 

The two Unspeakables drew further away from her, putting up Patronus charms as the Dementors all flew to greet her.

Smiling, she felt the black mist-like creatures pass by her hands. “Hey lovelies. You’re such amazing guards. Yes, I came to visit my doggy friend. Won’t you let your sister pass?”

Whispered voices of sadness and pain surrounded her, but then they were gone, clearing the way for her. 

“Thanks.” She waved the two Unspeakables forward. “Come on then.”

Walking through the halls, she made her way up into the winding prison until she got to the higher security rooms. The prisoners yelled, jeered for her blood, but she ignored them. 

Natasha made her way to the end of the hallway on the 270th floor, stopping in front of a cell door. “Knock knock. Siri? You alive?”

A man looked up at her from where he was curled in the corner of the room, a crooked smile slipping onto his face. “Natasha. You came back.”

She nodded like he didn’t say this every time, and let her magic open the bars, shutting them closed behind her. Cinnamon and Purple stood guard. “Come, sit out in the open Siri. Nothing will hurt you while I’m here.”

The man eyed the door, but came forward to sit in front of the small bench of rock that was his ‘bed’. 

Natasha sat down behind him, transfigured a quill from her pocket into a brush. “I got to meet Harry. Such a great kid. Did you know he’s the Gryffindor seeker? He’s amazing on a broom.”

“He’s a seeker? James- James was-” Sirius seemed to sob a little.

“Shhh… I know. I know...” Natasha brushed out the tangles in the man’s hair before leaning forward and dropping a chocolate bar in the man’s lap. “Merry Christmas.”

Silver blue eyes looked back at her, smiling through tears. “Thank you. Thank you so much..... What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Natasha ruffled the man’s hair. “Well… I still think you’re innocent.”

Sirius his away the chocolate bar behind a loose stone in the wall, then became a dog, barking happily and coming to lay his head on her lap. 

“You want cuddles?”

Another bark.

Natasha chuckled. “I can’t say no to  _ that  _ sweet face. Okay. Hop on up.” The dog jumped up, laying down. She shook her head, yawning. “Don’t blame me if I fall asleep. I’m still recovering from a previous injury.”

She laid her head on the black dog like he was a fuzzy pillow, closing her eyes.

 

“A bludger?!” 

Natasha shifted at the whispered yell. 

“Yeah. She took a cursed bludger straight to the chest for that godson of yours. Broke six ribs.” Purple sounded proud and yet defensive. “I don’t know why she comes to see you Black, but that godson of yours, he’s a good kid.”

Cinnamon snorted. “Yeah. I don’t know why she comes to see you either, but it makes her happy, so you better watch it. I see any type of…  _ funny business _ and she’s never coming back.”

“Who do you think I am?” Sirius hissed, his hand stilling where it was smoothing out her hair. 

“Mass murderer. Criminal... Maybe the Black family madness-”

“Children.” Natasha called, eyes still closed. “Play nice.”

Sirius chuckled. “Who’re you calling children, missy? You’re the one that’s taking a nap… although I have to ask, do you  _ like  _ putting yourself in unnecessarily dangerous situations so you can tell me  _ after the fact _ and give me heart attacks?”

“Yeah Siri. That’s exactly why I do it.” She deadpanned, eyes staring up at the scraggly man blankly before she broke into a smile.

“ _ Brat _ .”

A chiming noise and Cinnamon held up his communication stone. “Time to go Natasha.”

She frowned, sitting up so she could pull Sirius into a hug. “Eat the chocolate. I don’t want you to go any more mad than you already are. I kinda like you the way you are.”

“Go.” He nudged her away lightly. “Your babysitters are getting antsy.”

Natasha smiled, leaving the brush. “You’ll be out before you know it. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Goodbye Natasha...”

“I’ll see you soon Siri.” Natasha opened the door again, slipping out and locking it again with a sad smile. She then walked away, knowing that Sirius was watching her back. 

It was the hardest part of every trip here, walking away.

Purple held out the portkey and she sighed, grabbed on.

 

Natasha had sent a set of muggle hair chalk to Luna, a book on parseltongues to Harry with a few bars of muggle chocolate, a rare set of seeds to Neville, a book on creating spells to Hermione, and a three sets of handsome robes to Ron (with the instructions to give the two larger burgundy ones to his twin brothers).

Clint had quite a time flying around all her presents, and finally she let him rest, eat all the bacon he wanted.

In turn, she got a cute bracelet from Hermione, a ugly (but soft) sweater with a ‘N’ stitched into it in gold and silver tones from Ron’s mom, a few boxes of chocolate frogs and a pretty black knife from Harry, a rare rose plant from Neville, a few color bombs from the twins, and a box of weird Jelly Beans from Ron. (She ended up giving the unusual Jelly Beans to Jelly Bean, one of the Unspeakables who she saw eating the strange candy all the time, but kept the chocolate frogs for Sirius.)

The days leading up to Christmas were light, full of laughter and stories, and she ended up going to too many house parties with the Unspeakables, who all had lives outside of the Ministry. Most of them ended with her drinking people under the table as she reminded them that she was 90  _ and also Russian _ .

But as soon as Christmas came and went, she settled down to work on her real concerns. 

The basilisk in Hogwarts, Sirius Black, and Lockhart.

The mention of the basilisk, however prompted Ladybug and Kiwi to drag her to Diagon Alley.

 

Natasha sighed at the two women got her yet another set of robes she wouldn’t have to time to wear and other assorted things before they stopped in front of a wand shop. Natasha groaned. “Nooooo… I don’t  _ need  _ a wand.”

“Honey you need  _ something  _ to focus your magical energy. You can’t kill a basilisk with your knives!” Kiwi looked exasperated.

“Guns? I like guns! I’m good with guns!”

The two witches looked at each other. They’d all abandoned their Unspeakable robes, Natasha under a glamour so they just looked like a family out shopping for the day. Ladybug rolled her eyes. “We’ll see what Ollivander says.” 

They made their way into the empty shop.

Natasha almost sneezed at the amount of dust everywhere. “Hello?”

A noise of metal clinging, and a grey-haired man on a sliding ladder emerged from the back. “Ah. The infamous Miss Natasha Rom-”

“Just Natasha, Mr. Ollivander." She quickly corrected. "Names hold power.”

A crooked smile. “And what can I do for you, Miss Natasha?”

“I don’t want a wand.” She felt Ladybug and Kiwi roll their eyes. “Is there anything else? A sword? A staff?...  _ Guns  _ perhaps?”

Ollivander laughed. “My dear, wands can cater what you want. Now i’m assuming you want one or two… guns?”

“Yes sir.”

“And your dominant hand?”

Natasha smiled. “Ambidextrous. But originally my right hand sir.”

Ollivander gave her a long look. “Right…” He wandered around, mumbled to himself, before pulling out a box and handing her the wand inside. “Give it a wave.”

She did hesitantly and it shattered in her hand.

Ollivander frowned. “Yes… well you have extraordinary power, to be able to do that, young one.”

“Oh!” She pulled up her sleeves. “This might help.”

The man’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. “You’re the second coming of Merlin for  _ Merlin’s sake _ !” He ran off into the back.

Natasha looked to the two women with a raised eyebrow.

“He’s….” Kiwi trailed off.

“Crazy?” 

Ladybug frowned at her in silent a reprimand. “ _ Quirky _ .”

Ollivander came running back in with a pure white wand, holding it out gingerly. “The purest light wand I have. Please try not to break it.”

She reached out and as soon as it was in her hands, she felt it heat up until she was holding a perfectly balanced Glock 26, like the ones she’d used time and time again with the Avengers. Except it was silver with an engraved tree on the side. 

The man nodded, running off again.

Natasha turned to the two women. “Should I get a holster? I’ll need one under my robes.”

Ladybug nodded to Kiwi, slipping out of the shop, but before Natasha could protest the woman buying her holster, Ollivander was coming back. He held out a pitch black wand, gnarled and curved. “One of the blackest wands that I keep in my shop.”

When she waved it, the papers on his desk caught on fire and she shoved it back at him, using the Mayan fire spell to put the fire out with her hand quickly. “And the _blackest_ wand?”

“You do not want the blackest wand, not for a child.”

Natasha let her eyes glow green, making the man step back a bit. “Mr Ollivander, I am not from this time, not from this world. I have traveled a long way to complete a task set by Death and Life themselves. Do not think for a second I am a mere  _ child _ .”

The man nodded shakily, running into the back. 

Natasha sighed and thumbed the gun in her hand.

“Th-This is it.” The man looked hesitant still as he emerged from the back, steps slower, like he hoped she'd reconsider. “The darkest wand I could ever make… Please, I hope it does not choose you.”

She held out her hand and after a second, he let her have it.

A wind seemed to whip around the three of them, a dark-haired woman appearing for just a second to kiss Natasha on the cheek, whisper ‘go forth child’ into her ear. Then, the wand was changing, and a cold black gun with the engraved Deathly Hallows was sitting in her hand.

Ollivander sat down heavily in a nearby chair. “The first wand is Alder wood which is the wood for wordless spells and strong magic. With the hair of a Veela, it is made for a strong leader, a protector. It isn’t made to kill and you should never use it for such. The second however, the Blackthorn wood of a warrior and Cherry wood of lethal power with … thestral hair. That wand is made to destroy, to kill. To do light magic with that wand is to challenge its very nature.”

Natasha nodded and Purple came in the door, handed her a holster that she slipped on, stored her guns away. Bowing slightly, Natasha smiled gently at the man. “I swear that I don’t plan on being a Dark Lord, sir... I plan on killing one.”

Ollivander shivered, but nodded as she made her way out of the shop.


	11. The Dangers of Muggle Hair Chalk, As Interpreted by Mr. Weasley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is sleep vital to humans? Because I seem to be doing fine with none of it.  
> *Lies*  
> Anywho, I'm not sure about shipping people so if you wanna be Cool (TM) pop on the comments and give me a message saying maybe you wouldn't hate me if I wrote ___ and ___ together.   
> Legit. Thanks babes.

Then came the trouble with Sirius Black and Lockhart.

Coffee Bean sat her down in his office, both her letter about the rat and the copies of Lockhart’s letters on his desk. 

The space was less like an office and more like the common room in the Avengers tower. 

Open and spacey, with a large table on one side with a bunch on chairs surrounding it that Coffee Bean liked to claim for his desk, but sometimes got shoved out so Natasha could play Monopoly. 

(It usually ended with at least half the room being destroyed, but it was fun and usually ended up to be great dueling practice, so she loved it. Especially since she knew how to win from Pepper Pots herself, and Natasha laughed in everyone’s faces as she ruled over Monopoly. There was no T’challa or Vision to challenge her throne here.)

However, today Coffee Bean took up the table with papers, reviews, and the letters. 

“Natasha... I know you have some sort of special attachment to Black, but we can’t steal some kid’s rat just because he told you a story.”

“Why not?”

Coffee Bean sighed, ran a hand over his military-cut grey hair. He’d made jokes about how when she showed up it turned gray, but she didn’t believe him for a second. “Well, because…” With a shake of his head, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine... Just- don’t leave any evidence.”

Natasha smiled wide. “Do I ever?”

“And these letters…” Coffee Bean held up the letters to Lockhart she’d made copies of. “Should I be holding them?”

“He gave me permission to his mail.”

The man blinked in surprise. “Oh… How’d you manage that?”

Natasha smiled sweetly and tilted her head. “Does that matter? Magic will confirm it in trial.”

Brown eyes that reminded her of coffee grounds watched her for a long while, before he pushed the letters to the side. “You will get the rat to me, alive, and if it  _ is  _ Peter Pettigrew I will do what I can. The letters about Lockhart are being investigated by Gringotts, on the terms of payment if they find anything, which means that they are almost positive they  _ will  _ find something and they  _ will  _ expect payment for finding it.”

“Naturally.”

His lips twitched up for a second, before it was gone. “And you have a plan to deal with the basilisk? You know where the Chamber of Secrets is and you think you can defeat it? None of the Unspeakable have been invited to investigate so I can't really help...”

Nodding, Natasha stood and stretched. “I have a good idea where it might be. And you forget that I happen to like snakes....” She pulled a letter out of her pocket. “Now a question for you. The Weasleys invited me to their house for the last couple days of break. May I go?”

Coffee Bean waved his hand. “You may. Have Purple take you.”

Natasha followed the purple-haired woman’s magical signature though the Ministry, most people eyeing her but giving her a wide berth, only to find the woman scowling at an Auror trainee. “Hey Purple!” She bounced over. “Coffee Bean told me to ask you to take me to a friend’s house.”

Purple glanced at her, eyes softening, and turned to face Natasha. “Sure hon. What friend-”

Natasha saw the moment the trainee decided to try to jump Purple, but before he could move, her gun was out and pointed straight at the man’s head. The room went slient around them, h er voice poisonous. “Do not attack someone from behind during a practice fight.  _ Especially  _ not your superior. Now _leave_.”

The trainee went white, stumbling back.

Purple chuckled, putting an arm around Natasha’s shoulders as they walked to the main area. “So, where are we headed?”

“The Weasleys. They invited me over for a few days.”

Purple rolled her eyes. “Great. Of course Coffee Bean would send me. Come on. I wanna get this over with.” She tapped her robes with her wand and the Department of Mysteries crest faded until she was just wearing black Auror robes.

Natasha eyed the woman curiously, but didn’t say anything, throwing the floo ash down. “The Burrow!”

 

Natasha stepped into a world of chaos. 

It looked like that one time she let Clint put together his own safe house. 

The walls were cluttered with children’s drawings, shelves of different trinkets, and a lovely brown wood. The furniture was mismatched, the colors clashing slightly… and it felt like home. 

Natasha could almost feel Clint standing across the room, grin plastered on his dumb face, his voice an echo in her head: ‘What’re you lookin’ at? You said I could decorate!’

Natasha’s smile was soft and when Purple put a hand on her shoulder she jumped. The dark eyes of the woman were curious. “Where were you?”

The upper crowd of Unspeakables that she mainly interacted with were all under oath not to talk about her past life with anyone unless they already knew, but loved to hear the stories of the other world. They lived for the funny stories, all having favorite Avengers. She swore that Ladybug even had a thing for Loki, always asking for stories about him.

Natasha leaned into the hand on her shoulder. “The past...”

Purple recognized that she didn’t want to talk about it, but before she could say anything, a woman was bustling out of the kitchen. “Hello lovelies! Oh Nymphadora! I didn’t know you knew Natasha!”

Natasha glanced at the woman who grimaced at the mention of her actual name. “Yeah. One of the Unspeakables asked me to bring her over.”

“Wonderful! You can stay for dinner!” Purple flinched slightly, but hid it well. The woman turned to Natasha. “Hello dear. I’m Molly Weasley, but please, call me Molly.”

With a glance to the purple-haired woman, Natasha let Mrs. Weasley drag her into a hug. “It’s wonderful to meet you.”

“Oh you’re so polite! And cute! Anyone who is friends with Harry and that can stand the twins is _more_ than welcome here.”

Like they’d been called, ginger twins entered the room with a grin. “Speak of the devil-”

“-and Natasha appears!”

Purple chuckled. “Is Arthur outside with the others? I’m sure he would love to ask out resident Muggle-expert some questions.”

The twins locked arms with her, proceeding to drag her outside where a picnic table had been set up and a crowd of people were all talking. The snow had been cleared around the table, and a warming charm made it so the area was nice and warm but the surroundings were still snowy and beautiful. 

A blonde jumped up, giving her a hug, and Natasha smiled down at Luna. “Hey Miss Moon. How was your Christmas?”

“My father got me a crumple-horned snorkack!”

“That’s great. I see you like the chalk I got you.” Luna’s hair was still blonde, but it looked like a six-year-old had taken over with the hair chalk. Pinks, blues, and greens were littered through her hair and she looked positively ecstatic about it.

“She said this is a muggle invention you got her?” A man, probably the father of the Waesley family, looked up at her from where he was inspecting the chalk, eyes lighting up. “Can you tell me what it’s made of?” The man licked it. “Or why it tastes so bland?”

Natasha laughed. “Nice to meet you Mr. Weasley. And to answer your question, I don’t actually know what’s in the hair chalk, only that it’s not really meant to be ingested.”

The man then took it upon himself to try to wipe the chalk from his tongue with a napkin frantically.

It felt good to laugh along with so many people.


	12. That Feeling When One Person Ruins Your Whole Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue Jeans by Lana Del Ray is a 10/10 song; would get stuck in my head for eternity

Purple (or Tonks, as the rest of them called her) left soon after, using every excuse she could to get out. She gave Natasha a hug and a promise to write with any news about the Lockhart letters, before almost running for the floo.

Natasha soon found out it was because dinner was just an excuse to give her the most extensive interview she’d ever had (well… _almost_ ).

“So darling…” Molly Weasley started as trays of food settled onto the table. “How do you know Nymphadora?”

“Well actually... I live in the Department of Mysteries, so I grew up around the Ministry… I guess I’ve just kind of found my own little family.”

“You live there? Why?” A older boy looked surprised, Charlie was his name, if the twins were to be trusted.

Natasha nodded. “I don’t remember my parents, but I was told that my mother died in a fire when I was young. As a young girl I was kidnapped and trained by a non-magical organization that turned young girls into spies.” She could feel the bitter wind on her face as she fought other girls, but smiled through the memory. “One of 28 girls… and the only one to make it out alive.”

Every single person at the table (barring Luna) looked either shocked or horrified.

“My magic didn’t come in until I was 11 and by then the Department of Mysteries kind of… adopted me.”

A taller man with the signature ginger hair made his way over. “Sorry i’m late. Work was busy as-” They met eyes. “ _Natasha_?”

“ _Cinnamon_?”

Molly jumped up, pulling the familiar Unspeakable into a hug. “Percy! I’m glad you could make it!... Do you know Natasha from around the ministry too?”

The man blinked a few times, before his face went impassive. “Yeah I sometimes say hello when i’m on break from working with the Minister… How are you Natasha?”

She felt like her life had been tilted on an axis and just shrugged, looking down at her food. The Russian came out anyway, muttered. “ _Mne nuzhno vypit'_.” 

The twins eyed her. “So what’s with the nickname, guardian?"

“Where’d _Cinnamon_ come from?” They leaned in, curious.

Natasha looked up. “Well…” She glanced at the man down the table, who just looked bored, poking at his food and not looking at her. “One day I decided to make spiced cider, one of the things i’d picked up as a tradition, and gave them out. It was only after he'd had one and a half cups did he then ask if there was Cinnamon in it, because _apparently_ he's _allergic_!”

A grin spread across the man in question face as he defended himself from across the table. “Hey! It was good cider!”

“We had to call in two healers to keep your throat from closing up! You practically gave me a stroke!”

Cinnamon chuckled. “It was still hilarious.”

There was an awkward silence, until Ron broke it, looking at her with wide eyes. “You got Percy to laugh…”

Instantly the smile was gone from the older boy’s face and he went back to eating, eyes on his plate. Natasha tried not to wince, instead smiling at the oldest male Weasley across from her. “So Mr. Weasley, what is it you do at the Ministry? I’m afraid I’ve never seen you around.”

“I work with muggle items!” He leaned forward. “You said that you were raised by muggles?”

Natasha had to actively hold in a sigh. It was going to be a long night.

 

After she’d been thoroughly vetted by ten different people as she tried to eat (Luna and Harry not included), Natasha pulled herself up from the table. She thanked the two adults more than once and then proceeded to fall asleep in a chair by the fireplace, one of her hands tucked under her on her silver gun.

In the morning when she woke up, she was laying in a bed with blankets spread around her, a ginger-haired Unspeakable sleeping on the floor beside the bed. Snorting, she quietly got up and waved her hand so the man was lifted gently onto the bed, blankets covering him.

Changing into her new knitted sweater she’d got for Christmas and comfy yoga pants, she slipped on a pair of flats.

It was hardly morning, the sun just a sliver on the horizon, but Natasha’s internal clock had gone off and she was awake, so she planned to make use of it. Finding a large open expanse of snow, she hung her holster on a nearby tree branch, and used part of a fence to do some stretches.

When she was done she used her silver gun to shoot a nearby stump, transfiguring it into a jukebox. Natasha smiled. “Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey.”

One of Wanda’s favorite songs spilled out into the winter air.

_“-I will love you 'til the end of time, I would wait a million years. Promise you'll remember that you're mine, baby can you see through the tears?...”_

Dancing came easy to Natasha. Even though she’d never actually been trained as a ballerina, she still had gone back to take classes when she was at SHIELD because it was an easy way to keep her body in shape and get out of her head.

When she’d woken up in her eleven-year-old body, with only muscle from trying not to die in the Red Room, she found that dancing was an easy way to boost her flexibility and maintain what muscle she could get through training.

Natasha heard a loud crash from the house, chuckling. The back door to the Burrow flew open, Cinnamon and the twins rushing out. She rolled her eyes, the music coming to a halt. “Looking for me?”

“You weren’t in the room! You know better than to just up and leave! What would Obsidian and Coffee Bean say if I lost you?”

“They wouldn’t say anything.” Natasha smirked. “They would just kill you. Slowly.”

“True.” With a chuckle, the tallest of the Weasleys sat down at the end of the picnic table. “Either way, breakfast's ready.”

Sliding her holster back on and waving her hand so the music was quieter, she helped Mrs. Weasley get the table set.

 

The morning was fairly quiet. Luna and Harry playing chess, with Natasha sitting at the blonde's feet, watching the twins mess with Ron. Harry would sit for minutes before moving his pieces only for Luna to spare the board one glance, moving a piece easily before going back to braiding Natasha's hair. Finally Harry, after losing six times in a row spectacularly, seemed to catch on to what was happening with a groan that made both girls laugh.

After a loud lunch, Natasha managed to get all the boys into a snowball fight, convincing Arthur it was a 'muggle tradition'. The twins were ruthless, Cinnamon ( _Percy_ ) joining them in teaming up with her. They then proceeded to coat Ron, Charlie, Bill, and Arthur in snow as Luna, Harry, and Hermione watched over hot chocolate.

With the call for surrender by Mr. Weasley, they all trudged off to change out of sweaty cold clothes.

Natasha almost colliding into a ginger-haired girl who was coming out of the restroom. “Oh sorry, didn't see you there.”

Ginny sneered at her, eyes narrowed into slits. “Stay away from my brothers you slag. Find a _different_ family to steal.”

Then she was left alone in the hallway.

Natasha felt her good mood fade. The girl was right, she was here for a reason.

With the others downstairs, she glanced through the rooms, eyes finally landing on a particular rat. She smiled. “Hey darling. Aren’t you cute?” It squeaked, scampering over to nibble at her fingers.

Distracting it, she pulled out her silver gun, pressing it to the rat’s back and watching it freeze.

“ _Ebublio_.” The rat was encased in a bubble, like a impenetrable hamster ball and she grinned at it, stalking back to the room her bags were in. She wrote up a note, placing it on the dresser before grabbing her trunk and activating the portkey in her ring.

 

Coffee Bean had her at wand-point when she appeared out of thin air, but managed to catch the ball when she tossed it to him. “Natasha what-”

“I teenage girls suck. Remind me of that when I ask to go back to that house.” She stormed off to the showers, still in her cold clothes.

When she got back, she found a small man bound to a chair, twitching as he looked around frantically.

Coffee Bean pursed his lips. “Did you tell Cinnamon what you were doing?”

“Yeah. Left a note and everything.” Natasha pursed her lips. “I’m going to visit Siri.”

“Natash-”

She grabbed the portkey for Azkaban quickly. “ _Dementor_.”

 

Storming through the hallways of Azkaban, she waved her hand, the door to Sirius’ cell crashing open. His head shot up from where he was half asleep in the corner and she sunk to the floor against the far wall, flicking her hand again so the door was shut. “I hate people.”

Wide eyes scanned her, before Sirius was pulling her into his chest. “People suck.”

Natasha snorted wetly, hiding her face in the dirty shirt. “I’m staying here for the rest of break.”

He pushed her back a little, looking at her, eyes concerned. “Kiddo, you need to go back eventually... Your team of Unspeakable would kill me if I let you stay here.” Silver-blue eyes darted to the door. “Speaking of which… where are your guards?”

She shrugged.

Hands gripped her shoulders. “Natasha! You can’t just come here! The dementors would eat someone like you alive!” He pulled her up, herding her to the bars. “You have to go!”

“Siri the dementors won’t hurt me.”

“You don’t know that!”

Rolling her eyes, she pulled out her gun, pointing it at the cell door and firing. A silver light unfurled into a two of people: a big man with long hair and a hammer and a man with a circular shield and kind eyes.

Natasha felt her chest tighten. “Thor? Steve?” Her hand passed through them, but they all smiled, waving at her.

“Who are they?”

She looked back to see wary eyes watching her.

“They’re… my family from a long time ago. They’ll keep the dementors away.” The men nodded at her words, standing outside the gates like a blockade.

Sirius frowned. “Fine. But only until the others notice you’re missing and come get you.”

With a small victory cheer, she gave the man another hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mne nuzhno vypit' - I need a drink


	13. Bureaucracy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So extra long chapter because I'm on break for Thanksgiving! And I got sleep!  
> I am LIVING.  
> Yeah, anyway, back to your regularly scheduled program...

They ended up laying out on the ground like a big ‘T’, Natasha’s head resting on Sirius’ chest, reading as he slept. It seemed her presence was enough to soothe most the nightmares, but eventually he jolted, muttering under his breath. She sat up, looking back at him. 

Sirius flinched, more violently this time, and she moved to gently laying his head on her legs. Running a hand though his ink black hair, she picked her book back up. When he settled down, she found herself humming softly.

 

“Natasha.”

She yawned, blinking. “Hmmm?” She was slumped uncomfortably, book by her side, as she'd probably fell asleep reading.

“Why’d you leave?” Rubbing at her eyes, she saw Cinnamon frowning at her. “I freaked out! One second you were fine and the next you’re nowhere to be seen!”

“I came to see Siri.” She looked down at where her hands were tangled in messy black hair. “Sorry. I left a note. I didn’t think… I don’t think that your family likes me.”

The Unspeakable snorted. “Are you kidding? The only person they like more than you is Harry and he's the Boy-Who-Lived. The twins are both in love with you, Ron I think has a crush, Bill and Charlie both think that you’re awesome, my Mom loves that you’re a girl and you’re well behaved, and my dad has been playing with that jukebox you left in our yard like _all day_.”

“Ginny doesn’t like me.”

The man frowned. “Well she’s been in a weird- Wait....  _ What did she say to you _ ?”

“Nothing.” Natasha shrugged running her thumb over Sirius’ eyebrow lightly and letting her lip quirk up when his foot twitched. “She just reminded me that I already have a family.”

With a sigh, Cinnamon sat down outside the cell. “And who’s that?”

“Them and the rest of the Avengers.” She pointed to the two spirits on either side of Cinnamon that were apparently her Patroni. “Him.” She poked Sirius’ cheek, smiling when he huffed lightly in his sleep.

“And all the Unspeakables... And the teachers at Hogwarts… You know Luna would be pretty upset she wasn’t in your family. And you know that Harry has to be included because Sirius’ll never let him go. Ron and Hermione come in a package deal with Harry, so by relation, all of the Weasley family is included.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at the Tony-esque logic. “Go away. Your logic sucks.”

“I’ll leave.” He stood up. “But you might want to know that they’re holding an emergency trial in thirty minutes for that man you’re coddling.”

Her head shot up.

“Turns out, Bartemius Crouch Sr. sent him here without a trial.”

With a glance to Sirius, she carefully replaced her leg with a pillow she transfigured from a pebble, standing up and opening the gate silently. Closing it just as silently, she looked at her old teammates. “Thor stay out front and make sure no dementors come near. Steve watch the interior and play defense if they try to make a play for him.”

The men moved into position with nods and she smiled. “I should’ve done that more on the field.” She turned to Cinnamon. “Come on Weasley. We have a party to crash.”

He smirked and they both ran for the exit.

 

The Wizengamot was called to session unexpectedly, and the noble houses came to the curved room, all murmuring in confusion. 

It got worse when they saw a supposed dead man bound to a chair, two Unspeakables shading on either side of him, the Head Unspeakable behind him.

The crowd shifted uncomfortably, as n ot many people liked the presence of the Unspeakables.

There was still muttering when another Unspeakable burst into the room with a red-haired girl, two muggle-looking guns at her side, and eyes the color of emeralds.

Dumbledore, the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, stood, his eyes twinkling. “Excuse the question, Head Unspeakable, but why is the Wizengamot being called upon?”

The low voices of the Unspeakables spoke as one. “We call for a re-trial of Sirius Orion Black.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I see… And will you please show the records of Mr. Black’s original trial?”

Coffee Bean stepped forward, his Unspeakable robes making him seem like he was floating, his voice and face disguised with the spells woven into the special robes. “There are no records of a trial.”

Dumbledore frowned. “Then we must call the subject in question to stand. Can we get Aurors to-”

“Sirius Black is on his way.”

The chamber murmured in discomfort. 

Usually the Unspeakables stayed to the shadows, content to leave the laws and justice to the people.

Two more Unspeakables escorted a confused Sirius Black in. His eyes were mad and he struggled against the binds he was in. “What are you doing! What did you do with her! Where’s-” His eyes locked on Natasha and he immediately went limp, his voice a whisper. “Natasha.”

“And the girl?” Dumbledore prompted to silence the muttering people behind him.

“Heir Unspeakable… Announce yourself.”

Natasha stepped forward, bowing to the Wizengamot. “I am Natasha, Daughter of Magic.” She pulled up her right sleeve, showing off the golden tattoo, and the room broke into chaos as it glowed brightly. “I am going to be Mr. Black’s judge, by right of Magic.”

“You’re just a girl!” A man yelled out.

Another woman snorted. “She’s a child!”  

With a crack of thunder, a woman stood beside Natasha, a frown upon her pink lips, blonde hair in a neat bun. “Fools. This is my child and you dare question her?”

The room was silent. 

“Mother.” Natasha bowed her head. “May I, for one hour, have my true form?”

Lady Magic eyed the crowd. “None of you will be able to speak of what you saw here after this trial is complete. That is not a question. That is an order.”

With a flash of light, Natasha smiled down at where she was standing in one of Pepper’s black dress suits, in her adult body. Lady Magic was gone. She turned to the Wizengamot with a grin. “Now… Shall we begin?”

Seeming to get over his shock, Dumbledore spoke up. “There are no records of a trial… Then in that case, I call to trial Sirius Orion Black. Mr. Black if you will please sit in the chair.”

With a nod, Natasha watched as Sirius walked forward calmly. He kept glancing at her, but finally seemed to get up the nerve to sit down, flinching as it bound him to the chair. 

“Will the veritaserum be administered… Miss Natasha, if you wish to ask the questions?”

She nodded. “Thank you Chief Warlock.” Once she saw the glassy tint to the man’s eyes, she leaned against a nearby desk. “What is your name?”

“Sirius Orion Black.”

She hummed. “Sirius… What are your feelings for James and Lily Potter?”

“James was like my brother, my best mate. Lily was his wife and she made him so happy. I love them so much, like-”

“Sirius. Were you their secret keeper?”

“No.”

Gasps broke out across the room. 

Natasha ignored the rest of the room. “And… who was?”

“Peter Pettigrew.”

With a smirk, she turned to Dumbledore. “No further questions your honor.”

“Mr. Black…” The old man frowned. “Have you ever killed any non-magical people?”

“No.”

The room went into a uproar.

Natasha waved her hand, silencing the room. “I first call Bartemius Crouch Sr., from the Department of International Magical Cooperation, to the stand.” 

Sirius Black was led to a chair off to the side, the bonds less tight, more just a precaution.

A man stood up. “What is this! Why are you-!” Two Unspeakables cornered him, grabbing his arms. 

Probably Toast and Obsidian by the way they simply dragged him to the chair, bonds strapping him down. 

Veritaserum was administered forcefully.

She tapped her nails against the table she was leaning on. “Your name?”

“Bartemius Crouch Sr.”

“And where is your son, Mr. Crouch?”

There was a long pause, before the versasium took over and his eyes went glassy. “I have no son.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. There was something to that, as the answer should've been _dead_. “Where is your... wife’s child?”

“That  _ disgrace of a wizard _ is under the imperius curse, in my basement.”

Dumbledore sat forward. “Who died in Azkaban then?”

“My wife, under a Polyjuice potion.”

After a team of Aurors were sent to the man’s house, Natasha leaned forward. “Did you ever give a trial to Sirius Black?”

“No. That scum didn’t deserve-”

“ _ Stop _ .” She felt the desk under her clenched hands start to creak. “I call for a judgement of Bartemius Crouch Sr., all in favor of life in Azkaban, raise their wands.”

Most all of the room lit up with wands being raised, tips lighting up. 

Two Unspeakables dragged the man off.

“I call Peter Pettegrew to the chair.”

The short, slightly hunchback man was dragged forward, three Unspeakables having to keep him from running off. When his eyes started to glaze over from the veritaserum, she stalked over to the man, gripping his chin with her long fingernails. “Your name?”

“Peter Pettegrew.”

“ _ Peter Pettegrew _ … Have you ever worked for or provided the Dark Lord with information?” 

“Yes.”

She let him go, stepping back. “And were you the Potter’s secret keeper?”

“Yes.”

Murmurs broke out across the room.

Natasha glanced at Sirius, who was glaring at Peter. “Peter, what happened the night Sirius Black confronted you?”

“I killed a few worthless _muggles_ , chopped off my finger, sent a cheering charm at that  _ mangy mutt _  and turned into my animagus form of a rat.”

With a victorious grin, she turned to the Wizengamot. “I call for judgement of Peter Pettigrew by order of the dementor’s kiss.”

There was talking, conversations, before wands across the room slowly raised, glowing with light. 

Patroni were cast all across the room, blocking the Wizengamot and each of the Unspeakables. 

She pulled out her silver gun and shot the spot at Sirius’ feet, T’challa emerged in his full Black Panther suit slipping into a fighting stance, Okoye joining him, raising her spear in defence. The both nodded to her. 

Natasha wondered if her someone different would come every time she cast the spell... but turned away when one of the Aurors yelled out a command.  “Bring out the Dementor!”

The room was now abuzz with talking as they watched the skeletal creature float in, going straight for her. Some of the Aurors looked worried, since she didn't have a patronus up, but since none of the Unspeakables even twitched, the room waited in silence. 

She simply held out a hand, watched as the creature brushed against it, pain and sadness emanating from it softly, more of a lament than an attack. “Go now… Feed.” 

The room watched as the Dementor turned from her, sucked out Peter Pettigrew's soul, bony hands gripping his throat.  A pregnant pause and then it turned, looking around before it fixed on Sirius. 

She frowned. “No. He's not yours anymore.”

The dementor ignored her, and then T’challa was attacking, claws driving the dementor away from Sirius, who was shaking. A war cry was echoed through the room and suddenly the whole Dora Milaje was driving the Dementor out, working like a well oiled machine. Once it was gone behind wards again, the group turned to her. T’challa bowed with his arms crossed, the Dora Milaje sinking to their knees with the same crossed arms. 

Natasha chuckled, bowing back. “You know _i’m_ supposed to instruct _you_ , right? That’s the whole  _point_ of a patronus.”

T’challa smiled, his smooth voice ringing out. “We are not normal spirits, Widow.” Then, with a booming ‘WAKANDA FOREVER!’ they were gone.

Natasha grinned. “I wonder what Thor’s parting would be? Knowing him it would probably something about drinking.”

A few of the Unspeakables chuckled. 

She turned back to the court. “Excuse my... _friends_... they like to make a scene. Drama queens, most of them.” More snickers from the Unspeakables. “I call for a vote of innocence for Sirius Orion Black.”

All the wands in the room lit up.

Dumbledore leaned back in his seat. “And where will Mr. Black go? He has been in Azkaban for eleven years, surely he is less than fully sane.”

Making her way over to Sirius, she lowered her voice. “Do you trust me?”

His eyes were clear of veritaserum by now. “Absolutely.”

Looking out upon the sea of people, she drew a band from her golden tattoo with a finger to wrap around his wrist. “I, Natasha, Daughter of Magic, do bind Sirius Orion Black as under my protection as a guardian.”

The band solidified and sunk into his skin, forming a symbol of a paw print on his wrist. 

She smirked. “Cute.”

He glared up at her, but it was weak, hiding a smile.

Natasha turned back to the court. “I will take this man under my protection until he is fully sound of body and mind. His actions reflect upon me, as with his crimes until that time.” She let a smile slide onto her face. “Also, I need to get him registered as an animagus. But that’s my mistake now I guess.”

Dumbledore’s eyes sparkled. “As Chief Warlock, I will let it pass, as I believe the Ministry owes Mr. Black eleven years of reparations for false accusation anyway.”

Natasha felt a wave of magic and she was in her twelve-year-old body again. “Shit. Hour’s up.”

“Well, Miss Natasha, I believe that this court is adjourned anyway.” 

There was a loud crack as the court was officially closed, the doors opening.

She held out a hand for Sirius. “You wanna go to the bank or are you too tired?”

Sirius grimaced as he tried to stand but then fell back in his chair. “Sorry sweetheart, but I can barely stand.”

With a glance to the room that was now empty of all but the Unspeakables, she nodded. “Go on. I can carry Padfoot.”

The man turned into the big dog, all it’s fur matted and gross. She picked up the huge dog, laughing as it licked her face. “Guess what padfoot? Since I have guardianship of you, you’re coming to Hogwarts with me!”

A loud bark from the dog and it was licking her face again. 

“You’ll be the best therapy dog ever. I think i’ll name you Cuddles…. or Fido… or maybe Fifi!”

Sirius growled.

“Fine. How about… Padfoot?”

A loud, cheerful bark. Some wizards sent her mean looks, but the Unspeakables around her seemed to warn most people off of being too upset. 

They got to her living area and she transfigured her desk into a big kiddie pool. “Aguamenti.” It filled with warm water and she put the big dog into it, watching as he simply sunk into the water, a weird grin on his face. 

Laughing, she went to go get the soap.

By the time she’d gotten Sirius to a state of cleanliness, she’d had to change the water three times and hunt down a detangling conditioner. She’d also had to transfigure herself a bathing suit, because the damn dog kept trying to splash her with water. 

Eventually it just turned into bath time, Lavender helping wash her hair, Purple helping with Sirius. Turns out that Purple (or Tonks, whatever) also knew Sirius, as they were cousins, and he was comfortable with her brushing out his matted black fur.

He found the woman's nickname quite funny apparently, tail wagging back and forth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's me, yo boi, forgetting about the actual friggin' snake under Hogwarts.   
> Meh, I'll get to it eventually.


	14. Why So Sirius?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon! Soon we will meet THE SNAKE  
> but not now  
> Now we have fluff <3

Natasha arrived a few hours early to Hogwarts, talking to Madam Pomfrey about the current situation. The witch was more than happy to help when she learned about the trial’s findings, glaring Sirius into complying with her demands. 

After more than ten potions for different types of malnutrition and weak joints, the man was declared well enough for the time being, and made to promise to come back for nutrition potions every night after dinner.

Natasha then took the dog on a walk around the castle.

Severus Snape practically tripped over himself when he saw the dog, eyes narrowing. “ _ Black _ .” His eyes snapped to her. “You _do_ know that dog is a convict… I thought you were smarter than this Miss Natasha?”

Sirius growled lowly. 

Natasha flicked the dog's ear lightly. “ _ Ex _ -convict, Professor, read the papers. And I like to believe I'm smart... I did beat you at chess last we had detention.” She flashed him a grin, sliding past him. “Come on Pads!”

The dog growled at Snape again, before loping after her, tail wagging.

“You ready to see Harry?”

The tail wagged harder.

She chuckled. “But remember out deal. You’re a dog around the students until you’re 100% sane and healthy. Including Harry.”

Sirius whined, barking in protest.

“I know honey.” She scratched behind the dog’s ear. “But don’t you want Harry to see you all healthy and well-put together? You’re fur right now is still kind of patchy and matted. No matter how handsome you look now, imagine how you’ll be when you’re all healed.”

With a quieter bark, he bumped his nose against her hand.

Then they were outside, the students parting for her and Sirius, and as frail and unhealthy as the man was, he still came up to her hip as a dog. With a bark, he moved behind her, pushing her forward.

Laughing, she let him guide her, until she saw Harry from a distance and nodded to the dog. “Go get ‘im.”

He didn’t need encouragement, shooting out like a bullet, knocking the boy over and licking his face enthusiastically. 

Playing the part of a harried owner, she ran over, but couldn’t stop her laughter. “Pads! Padfoot get off him!” She giggled as the dog kept attacking the boy with sloppy dog kisses. “Padfoot...”

With a whine, the dog moved to her side, sitting down and looking up at her with a wolfish grin.

“You’re adorable, you beast.” She knelt down, hugging the Grim close and letting him lick her face.

“Is that your dog?” Harry adjusted his glasses, looking at the dog with concern. Padfoot's fur was still matted and he looked a little too thin, but he was better than when she'd first gotten him out. “He’s… Is he alright?”

Natasha nodded, knowing that just cemented her decision to help the man get better before introducing him to his godson. “I got him from a bad place. He’s gonna get all better under my care. I’ll make sure of it.”

“He’s not allowed here, no dogs are except for Fang, Hagrid's dog.” Hermione frowned. 

“He’s my therapy dog. I have PTSD from being tortured.” Nothing she said was technically a lie. Padfoot looked at her with narrowed eyes.

Hermione looked shocked. “Oh… I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. It was a while ago.” She turned, starting at a run for the gates. “Race you back Pads!” 

The large dog caught up easily, keeping pace with her as she jogged to the main hall.

She spotted Luna and made her way over to the Ravenclaw table. “Hey Miss Moon.”

“I see your friend is out of his cage.” She smiled at Sirius. “Good to finally meet you, Dogstar. I’m thankful you make our spider very happy.”  

The dog looked at her with an expression of pure confusion. 

Chuckling, Natasha explained. “Luna’s a seer. You’re the dogstar, i’m the spider. She’s also marked under my protection, just more permanently, and she stays with me in my rooms so you can transform around her.”

With a bob of his fuzzy head, the dog slunk under the table, waiting until she sat down to lay on her feet.

Dumbledore stood, making his welcoming back speech, warning about the dangers the school might be facing now that the Chamber of Secrets was open and to be careful. The whole school seemed to all turn to look at her, remembering how she’d talked to a snake. 

She and Sirius exchanged glances and she nodded, _yes_ , she’d tell him later. 

At the end though, Dumbledore smiled at her. “Also, as our dear guardian is young, she has assistance from her familiar, the large black dog that's been following her around.”

Sirius emerged, barking once loudly. She scratched behind his ear. “Good boy.”

“She can’t have a familiar! _She’s Slytherin’s heir!_ The murder behind the Chamber of Secrets!” More students joined in, the hall filling with voices.

She kept a hand on Sirius, who had taken to growling lowly. Looking to where Dumbledore was sitting, she bowed her head as she stood. 

Luna and Sirius flanked her out of the room.

 

Natasha collapsed on the sofa as soon as she got to the rooms.

Sirius was instantly human again. “What’s this about the Chamber of Secrets! And Slytherin’s heir?”

Luna giggled. “There’s a snake running loose!”

Sirius looked at Natasha with piercing eyes, sitting on the sofa at her feet. “Explain.”

She sighed, looking to the ceiling like it would help her out of explaining. “The Chamber of Secrets was opened recently, by someone who was  _ not me _ … and the creature inside, a basilisk, was awakened. It’s petrified two students and I have to kill it before it actually kills anyone.”

“A  _ basilisk _ ?! Are you crazy? It would eat you in one bite!”

Natasha looked up at him, amused, eyes flicking to Luna. “Wait until he finds out that I was sent by Mothers Magic and Death to kill the Dark Lord.”

Sirius coughed suddenly, eyes wide in disbelief. “WHAT?”

Luna giggled airily. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Colt? Glock?” The two elves appeared with a crack. “Can you get us dinner please? And Sirius’ potions?”

That earned her a half-smile. “I’m going to question your naming abilities thoroughly  _ after  _ you tell me what’s going on.”

The three of them ate dinner, Natasha telling Sirius her life story. From the Red Room, to Thanos, to where they were now, leaving out only the part about his other self. He didn’t need to know about that now that there was no way it could be changed.

At the end of this all, Sirius just looked at her assessingly. “How old are you?”

“About 91 as of November in terms of years i’ve been alive. Physically? I’m kinda stuck at twelve. At least until I defeat the Dark Lord. I think it’s kind of an incentive, motivation to pick up my pace.”

Sirius grunted, continuing to eat. 

Luna headed to bed and Natasha put out the fire place, the dishes disappearing. “We should get some rest. It’s a long day tomorrow of classes.”

Sirius nodded. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Natasha gave him a long stare, but when he just laid down and turned his back to her, she sighed and waved her hand. 

A blanket settled over him and she turned to her room.

 

A hand shook her, Natasha sitting up instantly. 

It was dark, Luna’s eyes tired. “Dogstar needs you.”  The girl then crawled back in bed.

Natasha rushed out in a sports bra and pajama pants, to see Sirius thrashing on the sofa, muttering violently.

She went to grab a big band t-shirt, waving at the couch. Its back lowered to the ground and it turned into a large bed. With a yawn, she wiggled into the man’s side, feeling him calm down. Another flick of her finger and more blankets were floating in from her bed. 

A larger frame curled around her, and she fell asleep easily.

 

She was warm, toasty and content. Then the body next to her started to move, taking the warmth with it.

“No.” She clung on. “Warm.”

A chuckle. “Kiddo I have to go to the restroom.”

With a groan, she retracted her arms, curling into a small ball where the warm body had been.

When footsteps came back, there was another chuckle. “You gonna move over or am I squishing __ you?”

“The air’s cold.”

“And i’m warm. Now scoot over.”

Natasha shook her head.

Warm hands lightly pushed her to the side, before the blankets were pulled up and Sirius was sliding under the covers. 

She hissed at the rush of cold air, relaxing when she was enveloped by warm arms. 

“ _ Needy _ little thing.”

Natasha huffed, pressing her cold nose into his arm, grinning when it caused him to laugh, sending vibrations through the bed. 

Luna padded into the kitchen. “Tasha? Pizza?”

She poked her head out from under the blankets. “New York Style.” At the girl’s hum, Natasha burrowed back in the blankets.

“Spider... That means you’re awake.”

Natasha was silent for a second before groaning. “Fine. Fine, i’m getting up.” The warm arms let her go, and she rolled off the bed, shivering. “I regret _all_ my decisions.”

A warm shower later, Natasha stalked out in dragon-hide robes, poking Sirius who was still laying in bed.  “Get up lazybones. Go take a shower.” 

With something akin to a mumble, the man sulked off to the other room. 

She shook her head, sitting down at the small table and pulling out one of the warm pizza slices.

Sirius ate quickly, Natasha and Luna walking to class as Padfoot loped along with them. 

After Luna was seated in Defence class, Natasha was about to turn away, but a hand caught her shoulder.  “Miss Natasha!”

She looked at Lockhart. “Yes Professor?”

Lockhart smiled, teeth brilliantly white. “Have you started reading my books? Now, I know that i’m amazing, but how do you like them?”

Natasha managed a smile somehow. “I’m very busy… but yes, I’m reading  _ Voyages with Vampires _ right now.”

“Wonderful! Well I’m sure in no time you’ll be part of my fan club! Maybe even a top member!” He winked at her.

Feeling a little sick, she smiled at him politely. “I have to go to class... See you later Professor.”

Walking off, Sirius bumped her with his head, growling lowly. 

Natasha nodded. “I know. I’m having Gringotts investigate him as we speak. I just have to manage not to strangle him until they have results.”

He huffed.

 

Minerva eyed her as she entered. “Late Natasha.”

“Lockhart won’t leave me alone Minerva. Curse him with a normal-sized ego and maybe I’ll be on time to class.” Sirius huffed again, and she realized that was how he laughed as a dog.

McGonagall smiled down at him. “Padfoot is welcome to lay around, but  _ you  _ have assignments to grade Missy.”

Padfoot tried to climb on her lap when she sat down, barely avoiding knocking over an inkwell. 

Natasha frowned at the dog. “Go lay on someone else, lest you knock over  _ everything _ .” 

With a soft bark, the dog loped over to Harry, laying down at the boy’s feet.

Natasha rolled her eyes, starting to grade.

She didn’t miss the way McGonagall slipped Sirius pieces of bacon wherever she went to walk around the class, smiling to herself.


	15. Nursery Rhymes Are Creepy AF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki... Is... Yeah. He's not very helpful.  
> Also, if you were facing down a huge snake you'd be kinda terrified too. Don't lie.

Natasha got close to the potions classroom, Sirius starting to whine and slow his pace.

“Come on Padfoot! You can’t avoid him! It’s one of my classes!”

Sirius just stopped in the middle of the hallway, sitting down.

A kid sneered at her. “See? Even the dog knows that Slytherin’s no good.”

She didn’t know whether the kid was talking about her or the dungeons, but she was tired of children pushing her buttons and being outcasted like she was some freak. Eyes burning green like Greek fire, she glared the kid into running away before frowning at Sirius. “Fine. Run away then. I’m going to class.” Storming into the potions lab, she kicked the bench. “Ugh!”

Snape raised an eyebrow. “The _mutt_ finally get on your nerves?”

“Shut up you fucking  _ vampire _ . He’s not that bad, you’re just upset he was mean to you as a kid.” She spit the words out and almost instantly regretted it.

“Is that… _three_ detentions Miss Natasha?” Snape’s face went cold, eyes hard. “Now  _ sit down _ .”

Pursing her lips, she sat down, starting on brewing where she’d left off on a list of potions needed in the health wing. It was repetitive and yet seemed to take the bite out of her thoughts, her shoulders slowly relaxing. 

Halfway through class Sirius padded in, only sparing Snape a single glance before sitting at her feet, whining lowly.

“A  _ tumor  _ seems to have grown legs Miss Natasha and is wanting your attention.” Snape sneered at the dog.

The dog rolled it’s eyes, whining again and bumping her leg.

With a sigh, she glanced at the dog. “Yes, I forgive you. And I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’ll rub your ears after I bottle this potion, I don’t want to get ingredients in your fur.”

The dog trotted away, getting attention from the other students, before stopping in front of Snape’s desk, staring at the man. 

After a minute, dark eyes snapped up, irritation on the man’s face. “What _is it_ you miserable creature?”

Padfoot huffed, biting down on a stack of papers and loping away. 

She watched as Snape tried to catch the dog with magic, and when that failed, chased him around until she whistled and Padfoot stopped in front of her. 

The students were all wheezing with laughter.

Carefully she took the papers, handing them back to Snape. “Padfoot. Please don’t antagonize Professor Snape.”

The man glared at her. “A weeks detention Natasha.  _ Without  _ the mutt. He can stay in your rooms.”

She nodded. “Sure thing Professor.”

Big blue eyes snapped to her, Padfoot whining. 

Natasha shrugged. “You’re the one that stole the papers. You know better than that.” But she still rubbed his ears, pulling a piece of bacon out of her pocket for him.

 

Both Natasha and Sirius slept through History of Magic, Luna waking them up in time for dinner. She ate quickly, telling Sirius to stay with Luna, before heading off to the dungeons.

“I’m sorry. About what I said earlier.” She stood in the door, unsure if he would accept her apology.

Snape gave her an unamused stare, but both of them knew she was forgiven. “Sirius Black... Is your dog.”

“He’s under my protection until he’s fully healed, both mind and body.” 

Snape just raised an eyebrow. “Very well. Are we playing chess or do you wish to brew potions?”

“Actually… I have a plan to close the Chamber of Secrets for good, but Sirius will try to follow me if I go. I’ve been looking for an excuse to get away from him all day.”

“You- You’re going to get yourself killed!”

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

His eyes flicked the where the Deathly Hallows tattoo sat. “Yes, right. Well… It’s still a bad idea.”

“Awwww… You’re concerned. Don’t be.”  Tossing him a scroll, she winked.  “In case I don’t come back in twenty-four hours.”

“You better!”

She laughed, stalking out.

 

The second-floor bathrooms weren’t as quiet as she expected. Voices were talking, and Natasha sunk to the floor, peering around the corner. A familiar girl was leaning over a journal, a see-through boy floating above her head. 

Natasha moved back. A voice in the back of her brain pushed the word  **Horcrux** forward and she frowned.  Moving into view, she saw the girl shut the book, the boy disappearing.  Natasha faked surprise and then relief. “Oh goodness, I heard voices and… I’m glad that it’s just you Ginny.”

The girl frowned, shoving the book into her bag and getting up. “Whatever.  _ Freak _ .”

As the girl got close, Natasha let herself slip in the water on the floor, crashing into the girl. “Sorry, sorry! I’m so clumsy!”

The girl pushed her away, sneer on her face. “Get away from me! Bloody hell!”

Watching her go, Natasha looked down at the dairy shed lifted from the girl, before looking around the bathroom.  _ “So where are you hiding, Chamber of Secrets?”  _ The parseltongue slipped out easily.  _ “How do you open?” _

With a shuddering groan, part of the sink expanded, a part lowered into the floor to expose a large hole. 

Natasha snorted. “Open? Really? What a  _great _ secret password.” She looked at the tunnel with a frown, before sighing.  _ “Close.”  _ Before it was all the way closed, she slipped in, and as she slid down the tunnel she watched the light die. 

Last thing she needed was some student finding their way down here while she was trying to kill this thing.

 

Landing in objects that crunched was _not_ a pleasant feeling. 

Pulling out her guns, she cast a patronus. Loki stood in front of her, grin on his face and arms open wide.

“Lair of the snakes.  _ Ironic _ .” Natasha snorted. “Go check ahead. Tell me if it’s waiting.”

With a nod, the man and her used teamwork to navigate the winding corridors.

After another thumbs up from the god, she walked around the corner, over to a large bronze covering over a pipe.  _ “Open.” _

The seven snakes clinked back as one long snake made its way around, the door creaking open ominously. Loki moved forward, peering in, before nodding.

“Well… the originality is a 10 out of 10 so far...”

Marble snake heads lining a long hall in a long row was what she got, a large face carved into marble at the end. With a glance at Loki, who shrugged, she turned her back to the marble face.  _ “Open.” _

With a grinding sound, the stench of something rotting was released into the air. She groaned, sneezing. “Gross.” 

A splash of water made her freeze. 

Natasha slipped into parseltongue. _ “Are you the familiar of Salazar, Abbadon? Salazar told me I could talk to you and you would listen.” _

God she really hoped that the creepy founder could live up to his promise, and that she could just tell the snake to go the fuck back to sleep or something.

With a loud hiss, the stench of death was stronger.  _ “I am the  _ **_child_ ** _ of Abbadon. I will not listen so easily to one born by muggles. You have come so far, just to die.” _

So it was the hard way then.

Turning around, eyes closed, she raised her guns.  _ “If you do not listen, and I will have no choice but to kill you.” _

A low hissing laugh spilled into the air, making her skin crawl. _ “You will not kill me if you cannot even open your eyes human.” _

Taking a deep breath, she let her eyes fall open. Massive yellow eyes stared into hers. 

She felt like her body was on fire, the tattoo negating the effects as fast as it was killing her. With a half-smile, she raised her guns.  _ “You will die.” _

_ “I WILL EAT YOU FIRST!” _

The snake lunged, and she rolled out of the way, spinning in a crouch and shooting the creature with a cutting curse. The blood red curse just bounced off it’s scales. 

She cursed in every language she knew as she threw herself behind a marble statue, the snake lunging again. “O-kay… So, say you have an impenetrable beast you’re fighting? What do you do?” She was slightly out of breath, glancing at Loki, who was watching from the side.

“Every beast has a weakness Romanoff. This one’s isn't on the outside.” Loki moved so he was sitting casually on top the marble statue, legs crossed in the picture of relaxation. 

Natasha had the impulse to strangle him, but kept moving.  “Wow!” She ran to the side, waving through the stone statues as the basilisk destroyed them in an attempt to get to her. “You’re a real big fucking help-”

_"I hunger for flesh! I will feed on your blood!"_   


The snake almost bit off her right arm, one of it’s teeth leaving a gash deep on her forearm. Gasping, she dropped her silver gun, but kept running. 

The burning feeling was worse, like she was being burnt alive.

“Darling, you’re dead, twice over.” Lady Magic stood to the right of Loki, frowning, Death leaning on the statue to his left, looking bored. “Any more times you die and you’ll have to die, be reborn again. And the snake might eat you in that time. That would be unpleasant.”

“Think Romanoff.” Loki watched her.

“Think! I’m about to be inside that thing’s stom-” Natasha paused, eyes lighting up. Weaving around the statues, she sprinted straight for the end of the hall, turning around at the last second. “Fine! Come eat me you ugly noodle!”

_ “Die you foolish human!” _

The beast opened it’s mouth wide to bite her in half and Natasha raised her black gun, made of the darkest materials known to Wizards, and the only thought on her mind was:  **Kill** .

A electric green curse hit the inside of the beast’s mouth where the soft skin was, and it shuddered, before it fell to the ground, dead.

Lady Magic smiled, clapping. “Good job! Well done! Now… the Horcrux?”

Tossing the diary to the ground, she stumbled over to the dead snake. Grabbing one of it’s fangs, she yanked it out before sinking to the floor. Crawling over, she opened the book, a boy appearing in front of her. 

“What are you- Wait!”

Natasha paused, groaning as she raised an eyebrow at the young Dark Lord. "No. Go to hell." With a swift move, she  stabbed the book with the pointed tooth. The boy screamed as she stabbed it multiple times (because she was in pain and irritated that she wasn’t in bed).

The boy exploded into light and she collapsed, the burning getting worse as she curled into herself.

Death stalked forward. “I guess I’ll give you a pass on dying two times because you were so amusing. You can thank me later. You’re only going to die  _ once _ .”

" **Bitch**." Natasha hissed.

Death just laughed mockingly, b oth women disappearing in a flash of light.

Loki knelt by her side, ran a hand across her face as she screamed for the pain to stop, for the white hot coals to stop pressing in on her body. 

_ “The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water spout...”  _

She screamed and then her vocal cords ripped themselves apart, the DNA in her body splitting at the seams. 

_ “Down came the rain and washed the spider out…”  _

Her muscles unraveled and then knit themselves back together, old blood replaced with new blood, the venom-infected blood left for her to cough up onto the floor. Her eyes went blind from the killing gaze and then slowly repaired themselves. 

_ “Out came the sun and dried up all the rain…”  _

Loki watched as Natasha died, humming softly and smoothing back her hair. 

_ “And the itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatcha think'll happen? Who knows?   
> (well, me, but :D)


	16. Crossing Universes To Say Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some light angst...

Natasha felt cold, wet, and tired.

A finger poked her cheek. “You alive?”

“You tell me...” Her voice was horse as she pried open her eyes to glare at Loki.

“Well I’m not a doctor, but you’re speaking, so...” Loki shrugged. “You might be alive.” 

Snorting, she pulled herself up, eyeing the dead snake laying on the ground and the diary laying in a pile of black ink. “How do I get out of here?” 

Loki shrugged. “I’m sure that these tunnels lead almost anywhere in Hogwarts. You just have to find the right one.”

“Thanks Captain Obvious.” She dragged herself over to where her other gun was. With a glare to the snake she shot it, it’s head falling away from the rest of it’s body easily. She hummed. “Magical resistance, but only when _alive_. Interesting.”

Waving her hand, a chain attached itself to the head, and she started to wrap it around her waist. 

“Need some help?”

Natasha glanced at where James 'Bucky' Barnes was leaning against the wall. She eyed Loki, who grinned and disappeared. “Sure. _Can_ you help?”

“For you Natalia? Of course.” The man’s metal arm closed on the chain, dragging the thing's head easily.  

Natasha nodded sharply, focusing on moving forward. She waved her hand halfheartedly. “Directions to the Potions lab.”

A glowing gold arrow appeared, pointing down a tunnel. She nodded and started walking, Barnes dragging the huge head, the metal chain making clicking sounds on the pipes. 

It was a long way, seeming to never end, but finally the arrow pointed to a hatch. 

Kicking it open, she heard screams as students scrambled back. 

Apparently the hatch blended in with the wall tiling. 

She huffed with a laugh. “Ingenious... Fucking  _ irritating _ , but... ingenious.” 

Snape gaped at her as she crawled down from the hatch. “What- Natasha you’ve been gone for two days!”

Natasha looked up at where Barnes peered over the edge of the hatch. “Didn’t think to tell me huh?”

He jumped down, grinning. “I thought Loki would.”

“He disappeared after I we started walking! Maybe a little  _ warning  _ next time!” She looked back at the students. “I would clear the area. We got a big catch.”

The students scrambled back.

Snape growled. “Natasha…”

She didn’t look back, instead looking to the man next to her. “You ready Soldier?”

Barnes nodded. “Ready when you are Widow.”

Natasha saluted. “For Mother Russia!” 

Barnes chuckled as he pulled, and with a loud crash the basilisk’s head fell onto the back potion table. 

More than a few students fainted.

She grinned at the man. “I forgot how strong you are Soldier.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “That arm’s a force of nature in itself.”

Barnes gave her a salute, smirking. “Good luck comrade.” Then he was gone.

Natasha started for the door. “I need-” She felt her legs start to give under her. “-to... tel-”

She was out before she hit the floor.

 

Warm hands smoothed back her hair, a voice registering to her ears as her brain started working again. 

“-up and leave! I paced in front of the fireplace all night! Both of us were worried, but then our marks start to hurt like they’re burning and then suddenly they went cold! I thought you’d died! Luna kept spacing out and saying things like ‘she’s fighting the snake’ or 'watch out for the teeth!' She was watching it first-hand while I was freaking out on the sidelines!”

Natasha groaned slightly, but the voice didn’t stop.

“And then nothing! Cold marks... and Luna goes to class, does her homework and eats pizza and- I couldn’t sleep one second and-”

“Please. Be quiet.” Her voice was dry. “Worst hangover  _ ever _ .”

The warm hands guided her into sitting up, a cup placed to her lips and she drank down the cool water eagerly. “You’re an absolute _idiot_ , y’know that?”

“I got it as an infection from a friend.” She peeled her eyes open. “Take it up with him.”

Sirius smiled, but the bags under his eyes gave away how tired he was.

Natasha gave him a small wave. “Come on. These medical beds are just big enough for two.”

Warm hands laid her back down and then a furry body jumped up onto the bed, laying across her like a sphynx, resting his head on his paws facing the door. She let her fingers thread into the dark fur, eyes slipping closed again.

 

Waking up was an _experience_. 

Instead of Sirius, Loki was sitting calmly beside her. But he was solid instead of the silvery light he had been before.

Green eyes met hers and the god grinned, putting down the magazine in his hand that had Tony's face on the cover. “So… You’re magic now. Interesting...”

Natasha almost fell off the bed, looking around to see that the Unspeakables, Sirius, Luna, and Harry were all watching from outside a green barrier. “Loki? What are you doing here?” She shifted her weight, not sure if this was the Loki she remembered from her time or someone about to attack her

The man clicked his tongue lightly. “I felt a disturbance the other day. Someone pulling part of my consciousness into form. And I knew _that_ was strange because I only exist in one dimension.” Loki smiled, twisting a strand of her hair around his finger. She heard a faint growl from somewhere to the side. “The other Natasha’s hair is not as long. I like your long hair better.”

“And how are you here?”

“ _ Darling _ Natasha…I know how to follow the casting of a simple spell.” He leaned in, eyes sparkling as he grinned. “And I asked nicely. Lovely woman, Death… She seems to be kind of sweet on me.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you have New York to try to destroy?”

Loki laughed. “Already tried. Boring. You however… are  _ very  _ interesting.”

Natasha closed her eyes for a second, reeling in the urge to punch the man now that he was flesh and blood and would be able to feel it. “So how long are you here, _gracing_ me with your presence.”

“This is weird. You’re murderous rage isn’t as sexy if you’re all… small.” Loki snapped and she felt herself change, in the black catsuit she had worn during the Battle of New York. “There. Better.”

“As disturbing as this little reunion is, I know you better than you know yourself and you’re so gay that you slept with _Tony Stark_. Now stop objectifying me and tell me how Clint is.”

Loki blinked. “I didn't-”

“You did in my time. Clint?”

With a scowl, Loki sat back on the bed. “Your archer is fine. He seems to be using the wonder twins as means to cope with your death.”

Natasha blinked. “I-?”

“Midgard came under attack by a metal man. Ulto-something.”

“Ultron.”

Loki waved his hand. “Yes. Whatever. Well, your archer was going to get shot, and you happened to be nearby. You got shot... It was sad.”

Natasha stared at him blankly, trying to process his words. “Pietro's alive… but I died.” 

“Quite annoying, that boy. He seems to be quite taken with your archer though.” She looked up and the god smirked. “Found them making out in the jet the other day. The team was quite annoyed but altogether fine with it.”

“You’re…?”

“I’m an official Avenger." Loki's grin was wide. "Under watch of course.”

Natasha nodded slowly. “So i’m just- I’m pulling the other spirits from my memories, not who… they became?”

Loki nodded. “Exactly.”

She let her eyes close, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “So Clint never got married. Never had kids. I was never an aunt... Never got to punch that _fucking purple grape_ in the-” She took a shaky breath, eyes opening. 

Loki looked almost empathetic, lips pressed together in a sad line. 

“You remember what you said to me? On the helicarrier, when you were locked away?...”

“I think I said a few… unsavory things.” Loki grimaced. 

“You know which words i’m talking about.” She gave him a look.

Loki smiled bitterly, the words coming out softer than she remembered. “ _I won’t touch Barton... Not until I make him kill you. Slowly… Intimately… In every way he knows you fear. And then he’ll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I’ll split his skull._ ” Loki pressed his lips together, eyes asking for forgiveness. “Those ones?”

Natasha smiled, but it was shaky. “Yeah… You know, I used to have nightmares, just as you said it. Textbook word for word. I used to pull myself into the shower and sit in freezing water until I stopped shaking, until I was so close to death I could feel it.”

Loki paled, but his mask stayed firmly in place.

“I think you owe it to me to make sure Clint stays safe.”

The man dipped his head once. “I swear it.”

“Good.” Natasha reached out, grabbing the man’s hand and squeezing it. “Oh, and introduce Thor to Poptarts for me. He’ll love them.”

With a nod, the man placed a gentle kiss on her hand. “Call on my spirit whenever. It will help to know that the Black Widow still fights, even if it’s not for the Avengers... Goodbye Natasha Romanoff.”

Loki disappeared, along with the green barrier and her adult body.

Natasha held up her hands before anyone could start asking questions. “Please. I need some food or something before I get assaulted with questions.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, setting up Sirius' story all nicely and shit  
> :D XOXO


	17. Beetles and Newspapers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves!  
> So about last chapter...   
> There's a hard barrier between every reality that only Lady Magic and Lady Death can pass though. Loki, as being someone who knows something Natasha doesnt, asks Death for permission deliver a 'message' and Death allows it.  
> It'll make a little more sense what Loki was trying to do when the story goes on and/or we get to Sirius' story...  
> Anywho, hope you like the chapter!

The group soon learned that she wouldn’t say a word regarding Loki, not even his name.

Once the Unspeakables had gotten her overview of the events and she showed them to the Chamber of Secrets, she was left to the Minister and a slender woman who was looking at her curiously, Luna and the ‘golden trio’ standing off to the side with Sirius sulking at her feet. The woman had blonde hair set in rigid curls and tiny glasses that reminded her of a evil librarian.

A sickly sweet smile curled on the woman's lips. “I’m Rita Skeeter, a journalist for the Daily Prophet. Could I get a interview with our young guardian? Or a photo…" She moved forward, eyes gleaming. "Yes, yes, many people would _love_ to see those green eyes and that stunning red hair.”

Rita’s hands were almost on her hair when a cold gun was pressed to the woman’s chin, Padfoot growling lowly. “Don’t touch me.”

The room stilled and then Harry was stepping forward, eyes wary. “Natasha… Hey, i’m sure she didn’t mean any harm by it. She won’t touch you.” He shot a slight warning look at the woman, who ignored it.

The gun was slowly put away and she looked to the boy. “Thanks Harry, but I wouldn’t have hurt her. Just a stunning spell or _six_.”

With as fast a recovery as any reporter that had caught a whiff of something, the woman perked back up, a notepad and acid green quill popping up beside her. “Oh? And is there something between out green-eyed guardian and the boy-who-lived? Does the girl with a temper as fiery as her hair let herself be _tamed_ by the empathetic Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter?” The quill wrote frantically on the paper.

“No!” Harry looked flushed, showing too much emotion for an answer to the press. “No Natasha’s a friend! She helps out in class!”

“Oh so the guardian helps you out in class! I can see it already! A torrid romance between the protector of Hogwarts and the boy that gets in _all_ the trouble! How scandalous! How-”

Natasha snatched the notepad with a growl, ripping off the last couple pages. “ _No. Comment.”_

She then dragged Harry off past the adults, the others following.

Spinning on the boy, she shoved the papers at him once they were far enough away from earshot of the woman. “Read this! _This_ is why you don’t engage the press!”

Harry looked at the paper.

 

_**Harry Potter’s Guardian** _

_By Rita Skeeter_

_The newly found guardian of Hogwarts, a green-eyed witch with long hair that seems to burn like a forest fire, has quite the temper._

_When I went to ask her for a picture, the girl held me at gunpoint._ _I could feel the danger of my life flash before my eyes, but then a charming hero stepped in._

_Calling her softly “Natasha…” the one and only Boy-Who-Lived stepped forward, eyes caressing the girl gently. “Hey, i’m sure she didn’t mean any harm by it…”_

_Miss Natasha’s eyes seemed to burn with the killing curse, but then she lowered her gun and turned to Harry Potter with heated eyes. “Thank you Harry... But I wouldn’t have hurt her.”_

_When asked about the nature of their relationship, Harry Potter’s cheeks turned red and he glanced at the girl to his side abashedly. “No-” He tried to deny it weakly. “She helps out in class.”_

_Natasha looked away, as if her embarrassment had gotten the best of her. She was obviously hiding something, something about the way she’d drag the messy-haired boy into corridors just to hold him close, flirt with him in class as she--_

 

Harry then turned bright red, sputtering. “It’s- it’s not true though!”

Natasha watched as both Ron and Hermione read through the papers, before sighing. “Yeah. It’s never true. Trust me. The papers once said I was sleeping with the God of Thunder.” She huffed. “I was keeping him company because he was having nightmares! We were still both in our pajamas even!”

Harry blinked. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Natasha shook her head, clearing her thoughts. “Anyway, you should keep yourself calm, wear a smile or mask that’ll cover up what you actually think, and then tell them either something you know they can’t twist around or that they want to hear. If you’d told them that you were worried because i’m slightly out of control and you were worried I was going to do something rash, they’d have run with it. Vilified me for the sake of portraying you as their golden boy.”

“I wouldn’t-”

She smiled at the boy. “I know... But you might have to face an article like that floating around soon.” Natasha pointed to where Hermione was reading the paper to Padfoot, who was unusually silent. “She probably has copies, I wouldn’t put it past her.”

 

Life slowly went back to normal.

Well, as normal as it ever got.

And even though Sirius was spending all his time as a dog and wouldn’t talk to her, Natasha wasn’t the brunt of the school’s hate anymore and no shady reporters had published anything on her, so she counted it as a mixed victory.

Until life came crashing back in.

Friggin' Life...

 

Natasha was entering the Great Hall late for dinner, when a girl she’d passed hissed ‘ _slut_ ’ violently at her from the Gryffindor table. She froze, seeing Luna frown and Sirius’s ears perk up. With a small shake of her head, she started walking again.

Only now that she was actually in the Hall, half the girls in the school were glaring at her, vicious whispers being muttered behind her back. Glancing around, she noticed that Snape was missing, and some of the teachers were even frowning at her.

Another girl walked by her, knocking their shoulders and making Natasha stumble back in surprise.

“Whore.”

Natasha closed her eyes, counted to ten, then let her magic amplify her voice. “Will someone _tell me_ what I did wrong? Believe it or not I haven’t mastered reading minds.”

Dumbledore stood, and there was no twinkle in his eyes, only piercing blue. “Miss Natasha. Please go to my office. Alone.”

With a nod, she turned to Luna and Sirius. “Stay here or go to the room to eat.”

Sirius whined up at her.

Natasha scowled at him, eyes narrowing into slits. “Bad time to want to be around me _dog_. You haven’t said a word to me all week and _now_ you want to have a say in what I do? I don't think so.”

She stormed out of the Great Hall.

 

Harry was sitting in a plush chair in the Headmaster’s office, Snape leaning against the furthest wall from him. They both looked up when she came in, Harry immediately glancing away.

Snape sneered, throwing a paper at her. “Read it.”

 

_**Should We Trust The Guardian of Hogwarts? Scandal Says Not.** _

_By Rita Seeker_

_With a new guardian of Hogwarts, all the parents out there are wondering: Should we trust this girl with our children?_

_Natasha, a girl that apparently has no need (or want) for a last name, is in the popular running for **Witch’s Weekly Hottest Women** even as a teen. With big emerald green eyes and blood red hair, she sure is stunning... but is that all she has? _

_Meeting with the fiery young witch earlier this week, there was a certain spark between the Boy-Who-Lived and her._

_Young Harry Potter denied being in a relationship, but he blushed and stammered his way through an explanation of how Natasha had helped him in class before, how they were friends._

_Obviously, this witch has The Chosen One wrapped around her little finger._

_So color me surprised when a source inside Hogwarts told me that the young guardian was attending weekly, almost daily, detentions with Professor Severus Snape. Being the most feared and disliked teacher in Hogwarts, one is curious why the red-head takes all her detentions with the man._

_The two were seen to not only be brewing potions, but once and a while, they would slip into the Professor’s chambers for the span of a detention._

_Not only does this witch have the audacity to lead on Harry Potter, but to make a man betray his job for her?_

_Natasha should be held accountable for her digressions against Hogwarts, say the many parents with children from Hogwarts._

_This witch isn't worthy._

 

Natasha let the paper in her hands burst into flames, watching as the ashes fell to the ground, face set in a deep scowl. “I’m going to _kill_ her.”

“If you would sit down, Miss Natasha…” Dumbledore made his way in. “As much as I believe that you are an asset to Hogwarts, though and though, the board is now calling for blood. One of our teachers is facing public scorn, and they want you to be forcefully removed from being guardian of the school as soon as possible...”

Natasha dug her nails into her hands.

Dumbledore sat down, face tired. "The magic of Hogwarts is not giving you up, as you may have realized. It still recognizes you as important, maybe even crucial to it's protection..." The blue eyes stared straight into her. 

She forced herself to stay relaxed, face impassive. “And what will the school board do?”

“I think... you should go back to the Department of Mysteries for the rest of the year." The man tilted his head so he was looking at her over his half-moon spectacles. "Come back when the public is not vying for your head.”

“I refuse to give in without a fight.” She glanced around, seeing that neither Harry nor Snape would look at her. “I’ll try to fix this. And if I can’t… I’ll be out of the castle by the end of the week.”

Dumbledore gave her a half-smile while neither of the other two even spared her a glance. "Very well my dear. I wish you good luck."

“Right… Excuse me.” Frowning, she made her way out.

One week.

She had one week to sort this mess out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rita Skeeter is a Not Nice (TM) person  
> Ready for some quality Sirius angst? Me neither.


	18. Where Lost Things Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who likes Sirius Black-  
> Me too. I'm crying too, don't worry, I know i'm horrible.

Natasha stopped going to class when she almost shot a seventh year who came onto her, instead spening her time outside by the Black Lake, watching the ripples accross the water.

She was a guardian. 

And yet they wanted her to leave the place she had sworn to protect, to just 'stay away for a little bit'.

A soft brush of magic made Natasha's eyes widen. Hogwart's magic brushed against her and she almost laughed.

What was she thinking? 

She was an Avenger for god's sake. None of those idiots would ever give up.

 

Closing her eyes, Natasha let her fingers brush against the cold stone. “Founders, I ask you speak to me. Help me in this time of need.”

The wall beneath her hand seemed to warm like before, and she found herself standing in a large room, probably the Ravenclaw common room from the blues and silvers lining the walls.

A woman with defined cheekbones and sun-kissed skin smiled at her kindly. “Hello child. I’m Rowena Ravenclaw.”

Natasha bowed. “Lady Ravenclaw, I ask your advice. A woman wrote something-”

“I know what she did.” Rowena smiled at her fondly at the assumption that she didn't know something, making Natasha feel like a scolded child for a second. “We know our castle and what goes on in it. Though I do believe Salazar is a tad bit upset you killed his familiar's child, even if Godric finds it amusing.”

“Ah. Right…”

Rowena chuckled. “Look out for animagi, child. Even the smallest bugs could be listening.” The woman stepped forward, took her hand, the contact warm. “And please do help us this once? It seems our items that are closest to us have been turned to evil, like that diary you held.”

Natasha breathed out lightly. “Horcruxes...?”

“It seems so." Rowena's eyes grew urgent. "I can only tell you this once, so listen carefully... Helga's chalice lays where gold-keepers roam, Salazar’s locket with the silenced member of the Black line, my diadem where lost things go to hide. Hurry my child.” 

With one last squeeze of her hand, the image blurred.

 

Natasha stumbled as she found herself in the real world again, in a room she’d never seen before, piled with stuff that hadn’t seen the light of day for quite a while.  “I’m guessing this is where lost things go to hide… Glock?”

The elf appeared. “Missis N’tashy be calling?”

“Can you help me find an item? Put anything that reeks of dark magic in a box for me to examine?”

“Yes Missis N’tashy.” Without another word, the elf was suddenly popping in and out, putting items into a big box. 

Skulls, books, weapons, jars full of interesting things…

Natasha put some of the books aside, ignoring most of the other stuff.

Until Glock put a silver tiara thing in the box, it’s glinting metal and large blue gem making her whistle lowly. “That- that is a horcrux… Glock? Can you take this to Ragnok, tell him I will pay generously for this to be purged of a soul shard and that I am coming by later this weekend to sort out a few matters?”

The elf nodded, popping out again with the diadem. 

Natasha stood, picking up her new books and making her way back to her room.

 

“Miss Natasha… Out late again I see.” Snape stepped out of the shadows, but kept to the far side of the hallway instead of trying to loom over her like he usually did.

“Have you given up on trying to intimidate me? Or are you afraid I might bite?”

Snape sneered at her. “Neither, Miss Natasha. Only wondering how many you will drag down with you in your quest for danger.” He took a step forward, eyes glinting. “Isn’t that why you can’t let the past go? You have to cling onto your past because that’s all you know and you are afraid? What was it that man said? Slowly, intimately, in every way-”

She slapped him, hard. His eyes widened as she hissed, getting up in his face. “You don’t know what you speak of,  _ who  _ you speak of Professor. You may read lips, but you know _nothing_ of what we were talking about.”

“I know you aren’t who you say you are, _Natasha_.”

Natasha broke their staring match, glancing to the side. “For someone who hates the spotlight you’re playing your role quite well. I’m almost inclined to hate you like the rest of the school.” Her eyes landed on a small blue beetle and she frowned, waving her hand.

A woman grew into being where the beetle had sat, clothes in disarray.

She sneered. “ _Lovely_ Rita Skeeter… How interesting.”

The woman stood, brushing off her clothes. “Oh my! I seem to have apparated into the castle someho-”

“Save it.” Natasha pulled out her silver gun, turning it in her hands. “I wonder what the Ministry would do if they found you were an unregistered Animagus?”

The woman opened and closed her mouth before snapping out, “And you’re keeping Sirius Black in the castle! What would people think about that?!”

Natasha shifted her face to look innocent, eyes wide and lips pouting. “Actually, I'm taking care of Mr. Black for my best friend Harry. He’s not that bad. You know he spent eleven years in Azkaban unjustly? I’m just trying to help him get better.” She let herself grin sharply at the woman. “The more  _ respectable  _ press would eat it up.”

Rita looked pained. “Please, don’t tell anyone.... It’ll be my job, maybe even Azkaban!”

“Apologize. On paper. Write something about your sources being wrong, how my guardians have been friends with Professor Snape for a long time, how he’s my honorary uncle and we play chess weekly, how he’s taught me potions from a young age. Then Harry. Tell the world that we’re just friends, how I help him and his friends in transfiguration class, how he actually likes another witch his age and I was just trying to help him get up the courage to ask her out. Don’t mention her name though. Everyone will love it.”

Rita appraised her with cunning eyes. “I like you...”

Natasha held out her hand. “Come to me when you need an interesting story about Hogwarts. Consider me… the media liaison for the school.”

With a handshake, the woman was gone.

Snape shook his head. “You’re an exceptional ally and a formidable foe.”

“Aren’t you glad that I decided not to take your words to heart then?”  She chuckled, tucking her books against her chest as she made her way back to her rooms.

 

Sirius Black was pacing the length of the room when she entered the rooms, putting down her books with a sigh. But before he could say a word, Luna handed her a mug of hot chocolate, smiling. “How’s Miss Ravenclaw?”

“Her crown isn’t going to be a horcrux for long, but I now have to find two others. Helga’s chalice and Salazar’s locket.”

Luna hummed as they both sat down in front of the fire.

Natasha looked to where Sirius was frowning deeply. “Sorry, were you going to say something?”

“I know you’re not from this world and you had a life from before, but you’re a child now! Whoever that man was in the hospital wing, being in a relationship with him-”

Natasha snorted into her hot chocolate, almost making it go up her nose. 

Luna smiled from beside her as she proceeded to laugh at the man’s words.

“What?”

“Loki isn’t her lover.” Luna took a sip of her drink. “He tried to kill her multiple times... They have a strange friendship.”

Natasha laughed at Sirius’ face. “Sirius, I’m mentally 90 years old. I’ve had more than a few lovers in my time. But they’re all gone. All in that time.”

Sirius frowned. “That man-”

“Loki. Norse God of mischief and lies. He managed to sleep through most all of the  _ male  _ members of my team, so I _should_ be safe. Though he does like to pop up in my nightmares once and a while…” Natasha tilted her head. “Is this why you haven’t been talking to me?”

“No!” 

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because you seemed to be avoiding me since that incident.”

“I don’t like him.” Sirius’ voice was almost a growl.

“And how do you think he’d like me Natalia?” Barnes’ whisper was soft on her skin as semi-corporeal arms sliding around her waist. 

She looked up to find Barnes sitting behind her, leather armor pressed to her back in a ghost-like sensation.  “You’re a menace Soldier. Stop making this harder than it has to be.”

A light weight appeared on her lap, Tony’s signature grin smiling down at her. “Our little girl, all tiny and adorable…”

“Stark, Barnes, go away.” With a wave of her hand, the spirits were gone. She looked up to where Sirius was frowning, pulling herself up. “Look, I’m tired. Be as angry as you want, but I don’t think you have any ground to stand on.” She started to the other room.

“Harry deserves better than you!”

She stopped at the doorway to her room, eyes narrowed as she turned. “What?”

Sirius was flushed with anger. “Harry deserves someone that won’t go behind his back with some greasy git of a teacher! Is that why you’ve been leaving me behind during your detentions?”

Natasha stared at the man for a long time, before pursuing her lips. “I have business at Gringotts tomorrow. I think that you’re healed enough. Poppy said that you should be good enough to stand on your own two feet. I relinquish my bond to you, Sirius Orion Black.” She let her face go blank as a cold feeling sunk into her chest, where the bond had previously been. “If you believe anything you said to me tonight, you won't be in this castle when I wake up.”

Luna frowned. “Natasha… You know that the beetle will-”

“Then he will learn the hard way, Miss Moon... I never liked dogs much anyway.” Natasha didn’t look back, didn't see the hurt that flashed across Sirius Black's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm horrible....  
> What's gonna happen at Gringotts?


	19. Royal Flush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, posting a chapter on Thanksgiving...  
> So, yes, it's cheesy and overused but... Inheritance time!  
> Fight me on this, it's my story (ง •̀_•́)ง

Natasha stared down at where the couch had been transfigured back, the room bare of a single hint that Sirius had been sleeping there.

Luna watched her with knowing eyes from the counter, sipping tea as she swung her legs. “Love may be cruel, but it's not that bad... You punish yourself.”

“Love is for children.” Natasha didn’t look at the girl’s gold eyes as she said the words she'd been raised to believe, slipping on a pair of black converse and pulling on a muggle hoodie.

“There’s a storm approaching...” 

Natasha nodded, shrugging on her holster and a heavy overcoat. "I don't mind the rain." She pressed a kiss to Luna’s forehead. “I’ll be back by lunch.”

“More like dinner!”

“Fine then. By dinner.” 

Natasha turned her ring twice instead of once, appearing in the alley to the side of the Leaky Cauldron.

 

Entering the bar, she put up a glamour to anyone who didn’t already know her, and strode through the room easily.  

“Oh you know, Azkaban wasn’t that bad! More boring than anything! In fact-” Natasha paused at the familiar voice, and glanced over to see Sirius Black getting drunk with multiple witches falling over him. Seeming to sense eyes on him, he locked eyes with her, paling. “I, well, um… I…”

Not able to look at the man, Natasha turned her head away and made her way to the back, waving aside the wall and moving into the crowd of Diagon Alley before he could get up.

“Natasha.” 

She blinked up at the voice, finding Obsidian standing near Gringotts in his Unspeakable robes. “Hey Obsidian. Coffee Bean sent you to babysit?”

The man chuckled. “Indeed... Where’s your furry friend?”

“Had to cut him loose i’m afraid. Got kind of rabid, all foaming at the mouth when he found out that apparently i’m sleeping with Snape.”

“Ah…” The man’s voice was dry. “Yes. The news was such a surprise to me, seeing as the professor irks you so much, but it seems to have worked it out, your relationship... Commendable job there.”

Natasha glared at him. “Hilarious.”

 

Once again she found herself in front of a golden desk in a private room, a decrepit goblin grinning down at her with sharp teeth. “Lady Natasha… have you come to bargain? Or maybe claim your inheritance?”

“Inheritance? I claimed it already. I did the test... The thing where you cut yourself.”

The goblin laughed and Obsidian pushed back his hood, sitting down in a nearby chair with ease. “Natasha, if you have titles to claim, you have to do another test. The signet rings must accept you.”

Natasha looked back to the goblin. “Very well. But I do very much hate wearing rings. Or any jewelry if it’s not weaponizable.”

“The rings will change to fit what you want. They also block most compulsion spells, null any harmful potions and counter minor poisons.” Obsidian rolled his eyes. “They’re the greatest defense you can ask for without using magic.”

"Then... I suppose I could make an exception." Natasha sighed, seeing how Luna could think this could take a while.

Three boxes appeared on the desk, one made of glossy pale wood, one made of finely carved silver in the shape of a crown, the last a solid cube with red and black designs running through it. 

The goblin’s eyes widened at the last two boxes, but pushed the simple wooden box forward. “Simply open it and if the ring is inside, it accepts you.”

With a glance to Obsidian, she placed her hand on the top of the lid, feeling it heat up. Opening the top easily, she saw a simple silver ring and slid it on her left middle finger. A warm sensation spread over her, leaving her magic feeling refreshed.

“As the Heir to the Emrys line, you are now one of the most influential wizards in the world and a Friend of the Goblin Nation… Please continue, as we will have more paperwork to fill out than I thought.”

Nodding, Natasha brought the silver crown box to the edge of the desk. It warmed at the touch, but wouldn’t open. 

There was a slight prick on her finger and she frowned as a drop of her blood fell onto the silver rim of the crown. Almost instantly the box opened to show a white gold bracelet inlaid with diamonds. 

She pulled it out carefully, slipping it on. 

As soon as the clasp slid into place, the bracelet seemed to melt into her wrist and with something of hot coals, silver bands snaked around her wrists in matching designs. “Why does it always have to hurt...” She muttered, rubbing her sore skin.

“I welcome you, Natasha, House of Romanov. You have been named Heir to Nicholas the Second of Russia, the last Tzar.” The goblin stood, bowing. 

“I’m...?”

“Royalty, Princess Natasha.” Obsidian smirked at from where he'd bowed as well. “You just became Russian royalty… which means that the appropriate tedious paperwork will have to be filed.”

“Okay…” She pursed her lips, looking at the last box, the cube. It looked like a puzzle box, but found the lettering on the sides were unrecognizable and she wondered how she'd solve it if she couldn't understand the puzzle. Picking it up, she watched as the sides of the box changed, colors forming. With a smile, she sat down in a nearby chair. “Give me a second. I’m about to beat the crap out of Clint’s timed record.”

Grinning down at the rubix cube, she got to work.

Finally, when the sides stopped shuffling on her, she slid the last side into place. Opening up, she saw a small gold ring with a rhombus-shaped black stone in the center. 

“Another Horcrux. Lovely.” She slid the box across the desk, not daring to touch the ring. “On that subject, I need this and the other soul shards destroyed as mentioned, without damaging the container if possible. The diadem will be returned to Hogwarts, as Rowena intended. However, I was told that Helga Hufflepuff’s chalice lay in the depths of Gringotts, and it is housing a Horcrux.”

“And where did you hear this?”

Natasha smiled toothily. “From Rowena Ravenclaw herself. Now if you could get that sorted, we will discuss a reasonable price for this whole mess.”  

The goblin went to go get the required paperwork, and have the soul shards sent down into the caverns for a ritual destruction.

 

Natasha was half asleep when the door opened once more. Sitting up, she blinked away the sleepy fog in her brain. “Is it done?”

Ragnok frowned at her. “The Russian government has requested to see you. The Prime Minister and the sitting Lords require proof.”

With a glance to Obsidian, she pursed her lips. “Will you do me the favor of allowing my friend to come with? I do not believe I should go alone.”

Ragnok nodded and Obsidian followed her down the hall, grinning down at her slightly. “ _Princess_.”

“I’ll kill you.”

 

Entering a large room, every person stopped talking, all turning to her. Eyes tracked from her hair, to her eyes, to the silver bands around her wrists. A tall man with sharp cheekbones and piercing eyes stood, stepping forward. “Iv I am to beliv ‘ou are royalty… _Dokazhite eto_.”

“Mne ne nuzhny formal'nosti. I am Natasha Romanoff, formerly Natalia Romanova. Either believe I am who Magic wills me to be, or take that up with her.” Natasha raised an eyebrow.

The man looked down his nose at her. “I call to the attention of Lady Magic, the tries of a _fake_. The oldest, most powerful wizard should claim the right to the throne.”

A bell-like laugh and the room seemed to suck in a breath as Lady Magic appeared, sitting on the edge of the long table. “Is that so?”

“It- It is.” The man’s determination didn’t waver.

“Natasha?”

“I accept the risks...” Natasha let a grin slid onto her face. “Mother.”

The woman nodded, smiling wider. “Well darling, seems you’re set to accept the throne to Russia whenever you feel ready. Good luck.” With a light kiss on the cheek, the woman disappeared.

The man, looking slightly bitter, bowed lowly. “My Princess.”

The rest of the room stood, bowing.

Natasha nodded, waving her hand. “Yes, well I have unfinished business. I have a promise to keep before I do anything like claim the throne.”

“And that is…”

“I’m going to kill the Dark Lord... I suppose you’ve heard of him?” 

All the men in the room burst into speaking at one. 

She waved her hands, silencing them. “One at a time.”

A elderly man stood. “As advisor to the last Tzar, I recommend you place another in position to inherit the crown if you die.”

“Very well. Upon my last and final breath, the Prime Minister can have the crown… Now if you will excuse me, I have other business to attend to.”

 

Back in the other room, she sighed. “I’ll need some sort of protection now that Sirius has left.” Looking at Obsidian she smiled. “Will you stay with me at Hogwarts for a week or so? Just so I can make sure that I have the appropriate measures to deal with potential assassinations?”

“I’ll have to make a temporary vow.”

Natasha winced. “Does that bother you? We can put a time limit on it.”

“Not at all. In that case... I, Regulus Antares Black, vow to protect and watch over Natasha Romanoff until my protection is no longer needed.” 

Natasha stared at him, Rowena’s words coming back to her. “Wait… you have Salazar’s locket! Salazar’s locket with the silenced member of the Black line! That’s you!”

Regulus's eyes widened. "I-... I do. Kreacher?”

A dirty elf appeared. “Good master Black is here! The blood-traitor is using the house! Dirty master, dirty dog rummaging through the house.” Squinty eyes turned on her, before widening. “Royalty! A royalty is calling on Kreacher! What can Kreacher do for little missis royalty?”

Looking at Regulus, who nodded, Natasha smiled at Kreacher. “May I have the locket, Kreacher? I can destroy it.” 

The elf looked positively astounded, taking off the locket and handing it to her. 

Her Deathly Hallows tattoo burned and she placed it in a napkin, avoiding contact with it until the mark on her arm stopped burning. “Thank you Kreacher. Now please, by my orders, take a bath and get yourself a proper outfit.”

“Little missis royalty is too nice, too nice indeed. Kreacher will come when little royalty calls. Whenever.” With a pop, he was gone.

“He hates everyone but me.” Regulus eyed her. “You're definitely special, Princess.”

 

After paperwork had been filed, the three new horcruxes set for ritual extraction and destruction, Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem was presented to her in a golden box. “Thank you Ragnok. Now, shall we discuss payment?”

“Before we do…” The Chief Goblin pushed a manila file her way with  _ Gilderoy Lockhart _ written on the cover. “This is yours to decide what to do with.”

Scanning over the information, she set it aside with a slight smile. “And what is your asking price?”

“For paperwork, ritual destruction of the Horcruxes, an investigation, and use of one of our conference rooms… 6,325 galleons, 5 sickles, and 5 knuts.”

“6,330 galleons even and insurance for the items undergoing rituals.” Natasha stared down the goblin.

With a toothy smile, the goblin slid a paper towards her. “Sign please.”

A loopy signature and Natasha bowed. “I will see myself out. Thank you Chief Goblin Ragnarok.” Giving the golden box to Regulus to protect, she put the manila folder under her arm.

“Princess.” She looked back. “The Russian consulate announced your title as Princess Natasha Romanov, heir to the throne. The lobby will be _quite_ crowded.”

Meeting Regulus’s eyes, she nodded. “Thank you, but I will be fine.” Waving her wand, the worn muggle clothes she was wearing shifted into black jeans, tall boots, and a loose green blouse, her hair being pulled up into an elegant bun. “Shall we?”

“Your arms are bare.” 

Natasha shrugged. “I’m not hiding anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dokazhite eto- Prove it  
> Mne ne nuzhny formal'nosti- I don't need formalities  
> (all from good ol' google bc I don't know Russian... oops)


	20. Black Cats Are Adorable And Deserve Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My faves! Being adorable!  
> (well except for Sirius being problematic but whatever)

The press clamored for a picture, for a word, anything, but Regulus kept them at bay with his Unspeakable robes.

Stopping by a blonde reporter, Natasha smiled at Rita Seeker. “You write the article yet?”

Rita nodded frantically, bowing. “Yes- but I didn’t know-”

“No matter.” Natasha waved aside the comment, holding out the manila folder and dropping her voice. “You know what this exchange will do. You will not betray my confidence, will you Miss Skeeter?”

A slender hand gripped the other side of the folder. “No of course not Princess.”

Natasha smiled, letting go of the folder. “Did you know beetles are quite the delicacy in India?” The woman shuddered. “Good day, Miss Skeeter.”

Obsidian watched her from the corner of his eyes as he led her out of Gringotts and through Diagon Alley. “Rita Skeeter is poisonous.”

“I’m glad that I have a resistance to most all poisons known then.” She looked up, smiling at the frown on the man’s handsome face. “Don’t worry. I know too much about her for her to think of betraying my confidence.”

She was almost to the Leaky Cauldron when a paper stand caught her eye. Buying one, she looked it over. With a smile, she saw that it was exactly as she’d dictated, if not better.

 

_**The Real Guardian of Hogwarts** _

_By Rita Seeker_

_Upon finding out that some of the sources from a previous article were misinformed, The Daily Prophet issues an apology to Severus Snape, Harry Potter, and Natasha, Guardian of Hogwarts._

_Severus Snape, upon further investigation has a long history with the young guardian, but not in any way sexual. In fact, the Potions Professor is the girl’s honorary Uncle and has been teaching her potions from a young age. They use Natasha’s detentions to play chess and catch up with each other._

_It seems that Natasha has had multiple tutors like this, and Minerva McGonagall is very close to the young witch. As Natasha already has her NEWTS in transfiguration, she helps grade papers for the Professor._

_That was how she met young Harry Potter._

_Harry Potter, upon further questioning, is one of Natasha’s closest friends other than Luna Lovegood. The-Boy-Who-Lived has his eyes on a young witch, and Natasha has recently been trying to help him ask this witch out on a date. Both being young teens with power and fame, these two have never been attracted to each other, but chose to have a close friendship._

_It’s also a rumor around the school that Natasha only has time for her little group of friends and her loyal familiar, Padfoot. As a large black dog, Padfoot comes up to the girl’s hip and is adorably attached to the girl. She can be found teasing the dog and feeding it little morsels of bacon. Professor Snape seems to dislike the dog, but students speculate that it’s slowly growing on the man._

_We’ll have to hear if Harry Potter asks this girl out and if Natasha finally decides to give an interview._

**_Flip to page 3 to take a quiz, see if Natasha would like you!_ **

 

Natasha flipped to the third page out of curiosity. It was a chart, complete with questions about her favorite things. New York style pizza, black coffee, chocolate, comfortable clothing, and dancing. Natasha shook her head. “Scary accurate... though probably Luna’s doing.”

Obsidian smiled. “Cold pizza?”

“Long story.” She shook her head, entering the Leaky Cauldron. “Wait here a sec. I have to say hello to your older brother.”

“Be careful.”

With a nod, she walked over to where Sirius was drinking with a few witches, visibly swaying on his feet. “Excuse me.” She waved the witch off.

Sirius looked at her, grin fading. “Come to rub it in my face?”

Natasha threw the paper down in front of the man. “I’ve come to give you a chance to fix your mistakes. Read this, listen to the news, and if you still don’t like how I live my life, then don’t ever talk to me again.”

She felt a presence by her side, Regulus’ voice soft. “Princess, it’s time to go.”

Sirius blanched. “Princess?... _Regulus_? What-”

Natasha ignored the man. “Yes, I suppose it is Obsidian. Luna’s waiting for us. Shall we?”

“Your _carriage_ awaits, Princess.” Regulus led her out of the pub.

“Be quiet.” 

“Yes Princess.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes at the man. “You’re going to annoy me forever aren’t you?

Obsidian smiled down at her. “Pretty much.”

 

Dinner was in full swing when she entered, but it seemed to just- _stop_ \- when she walked in. It was so silent that she could hear a pin drop. And then Luna was running up to her, tackling her in a hug.

Obsidian barely stopped Natasha from falling over, and both of them laughed at her startled face.

“Long live the queen!” Luna crowed, a smile splitting her face.

Natasha snorted. “I’m not crowned yet, Missis Moon.”

Before anyone else could say anything, Dumbledore was standing up. “I am proud to announce that our guardian has been named none other than Princess Natasha Romanov, Heir to Nicholas Romanov the Second, the last Tzar of Russia... We have royalty in our midst now. Hogwarts should reflect good things upon her, as she is our guardian. She is here to protect and serve our school.”

Murmurs were heard, before a wave of clapping started up.

Natasha held up her hands, letting her voice rise and silence once more descended. “I am not one for titles and I never have been. My name is Natasha and Hogwarts is as much my home as it is yours, so feel free to ask for help. I am still the guardian of this school and I intend to stay that way for a long while.”

 

When Natasha, Luna, and Regulus got back to the room, Sirius was sitting in a chair by the fire, face grave. He looked up, eyes pleading. “Natash- Princess Natasha… I- I made rash decisions based on poor judgement and a stupid childhood rivalry. You stood by me during my worst times, and I can’t say the same. Can you forgive me?”

Natasha smiled. “Siri, the door wouldn’t open for you if I didn’t want you to be here. Of course you’re forgiven. You’re still adjusting to the world and I don’t expect you to be steady all the time.”

“I swear, on my magic, that I will never doubt or betray your trust again except if you become dangerous to those around you.”

“And I take Sirius Orion Black under my protection. Permanently.”

There was a gold light, the bags under the man’s eyes fading.

Sirius looked behind her at Obsidian. “Now can you tell me why my little brother is alive? Because I was _told_ he had died.”

Regulus flipped back his hood, a crooked smile on his face. “I joined the Unspeakables to get away from the Dark Lord, faking my own death. I started working to foil the man’s plans with little to no effort until Natasha showed up.”

Luna clapped. “Dogstar and Bearstar!”

Natasha narrowed her eyes at the taller man. “Reg… don’t tell me your animagus is a bear...”

“It's actually not...” Regulus grinned and suddenly a midnight black cat sat where the tall man had been.

Natasha leaned down, scratching his little ears. “Cute... I’m naming you Onyx.”

The cat purred, rubbing up against her hand.

A big dog pushed Natasha over, and Onyx glared at the dog when she barely missed falling on him.

The dog huffed with laughter, the cat batting his big nose. Padfoot just put a big paw on the smaller cat, squishing it, huffing with laughter as the cat hissed.

Natasha laughed, missing how both animals looked to her, before looking at each other. Suddenly Sirius was sitting on Regulus’ back. “Does the princess need to be helped to bed?”

“Maybe a glass of warm milk?” Regulus’ voice was slightly strained from his brother's weight.

With a smile, she pulled off her holster, setting it to the side. “Just a shower… I imagine you two will be sharing a bed?”

At their combined protests, she started off to her room.

 

Large hands shook her slightly and her eyes opened to see Regulus standing over her. “Sirius is having nightmares. I can’t get him to stop thrashing. Luna said to come to you.”

“Right… Okay.” Pulling herself up, she slipped a soft t-shirt over her head, padding out to the main area. “Come on then.”

Natasha fell on top of the scraggly-haired man, closing her eyes as he pulled her close, his muttering stopping. “You gonna sleep out here or you wanna take my bed?” Her voice was soft, already on the tipping edge of sleep.

A wet nose poked her cheek and she pried open her eyes to see luminescent eyes.

“Cat... Right.” She pulled up the covers. “Come on it’s cold.”

With a soft meow, Onyx slipped under the covers, nosing at her stomach. She laughed as he slipped under her shirt, tiny head poking out of the collar.

He laid down against her side, purring softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's in the envelope?  
> What's gonna happen to Lockhart?  
> <3 :)


	21. Ah Yes... Teenage Obsession

Natasha woke up to hushed whispers. “Don’t- just help me out okay?”

“What were you even thinking!” 

Regulus shushed Sirius. “She’s still sleeping you idiot!”

“Not for long it you keep- stop moving so much!”

Opening her eyes, she blinked. 

Regulus’ face was only about a foot away from hers. 

Luna’s laughter from the kitchen caught her attention. “Bearstar got caught in your shirt.” 

Looking down, it was as the seer had said. Regulus must’ve shifted back while asleep, the shirt now stretched out over both Natasha and him. 

Chuckling, Natasha just slipped out of the shirt calmly, stretching and climbing over Sirius to get to her room. “Indeed he did miss Moon.”

“Spider, you’re missing your shirt.” 

Natasha shrugged, looking back at where the faded band tee was backwards on Regulus, snorting.  “Looks better on Reg anyway.” 

It wasn’t like she had much shame anyway.

 

Onyx curled on her lap during classes, and Minerva smiled at her when she saw the black cat. “Acquiring a group of pets Natasha?”

“Something like that.” 

“What’s her name?” One hufflepuff girl asked.

“His name is Onyx and he likes bacon.” Natasha smiled at the girl as she tried to feed Regulus, who was ignoring her. “He’s a bit standoffish... Sorry.”

Sirius however, loved attention, always running around asking for ear scratches and belly rubs. 

 

Natasha skipped into Potions early, grin on her face. “Uncle Severus!”

The man glared at her. “Natasha…” His eyes widened when he saw Regulus. “It that-”

“His name's Onyx.” 

Snape nodded and the whole class was surprised when Onyx went to sit on the man’s desk, letting the professor pet him. 

Natasha smiled. “Awww what a softie! You’re a total cat person!"  She got glares from both Onyx and Snape.  “Fine. Padfoot loves me...” 

Padfoot barked, licking her face.

Onyx seemed to sneeze, shaking his head.

“You have two familiars?” The blonde Malfoy boy eyed her from where he’d distanced himself to the furthest spot on the potions bench they shared.

“I guess... Onyx might just be staying with me temporarily though.” She smiled. “Glad to know you can make conversation Malfoy.”

The boy’s eyes narrowed on her. “It’s Draco, or did you forget dueling?”

Padfoot looked at her with curious eyes, she waved at him. “Right, right I forgot. Draco then... So Draco, I was wondering…” The whole class seemed to lean in. “Have you apologized to Granger yet?”

Malfoy turned red, looking down. “I- well she hates me!” The boy focused in on his cauldron, voice dropping. “Plus… Malfoys don’t say sorry.”

“That’s bullshit.” 

Padfoot fell over, wheezing with laughter and Onyx seemed to grin. 

“Everyone can say they’re sorry. Especially if you’re in the wrong… which you were by the way.”

Draco looked almost afraid.

“How about this. I’ll sit with you at dinner and help you plan your apology, and then at breakfast i’ll walk you to the Gryffindor table, stand by your side.”

The boy nodded slowly. “Okay... Deal.”

“But you have to let me help you with your potion. You’re about to ruin it.” She leaned over him, stirring the potion a few times and sprinkling a few spider legs into it. 

The the whole class froze as something unexpected happened.  Draco smiled at her. “You’re the weirdest Russian i’ve ever met.”

Natasha’s grin was wide. “You might think so, but I can drink _all_ the Unspeakables under the table.”

Snape stood up. “Natasha! That's enough!”

It was worth the detention, Draco’s laughter ringing out across the classroom.

 

Apparently, Herbology took on a new meaning for Natasha’s new table mate. 

Romilda Vane, a girl she’d heard about for being ‘popular’ decided to sit next to her. 

Natasha glanced up with a smile, hoping to see Neville, but was met with the dark-haired witch instead. “You’re not Neville…”

“Of course I’m not!” Vane leaned in. “But, to be honest your social status is almost in tatters from consorting with the Slytherins, so you might want to wait a few days to hang out with that moron.” She laughed airily. “So how’s Harry?”

Natasha stared at the girl, trying to process what she’d said. “Harry…?”

The girl’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “The Daily Prophet said that he liked someone his age and I _know_ that i’m the prettiest girl in the school… So how’s he going to ask me out? Oh! You should mention that I like picnics!”

Pursing her lips so she wouldn’t laugh, she nodded. “Right, well Harry’s actually got an eye on someone else… but it’s nice that you like picnics!” She looked back to the tree in front of them, holding out her hand to the bowtruckle glaring at them. “Oh come now. I know Neville’s not here, but I need some bark from your tree!”

The bowtruckle unhappily crept onto her hand, gnawing at the fairy eggs in her palm as she cut away a few slivers of bark.

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing a severing charm?”

Natasha looked at Vane with thinly disguised horror. “And hurt him every time I need only a few slivers of bark? That’s barbaric!”

The girl huffed, rolling her eyes like it was a chore to be around her. “Whatever." Then her eyes lit up. "Is it true that Harry’s got a hippogriff tattooed across his chest?”

“He’s twelve!” Natasha was almost considering taking the girl to Poppy to check for mental damage.

“Yeah, but have you seen his grandfather Sirius Black? They released pictures of him per his trial and…” The girl’s eyes were dark and Natasha found herself already cringing at the girl’s words. “He’s  _ fit _ .”

Padfoot huffed with laughter from where he was sitting by her stool, even Onyx sneezing along with the dog. 

Natasha glared at them, humming at the girl before turning back to where she was collecting fluxweed. “He’s also a  _ bit  _ too old for you.”

The girl's eyes narrowed on her. “Well when I marry Harry you’ll see! Then i’ll have them both to myself!”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head at Padfoot, who just grinned dopily up at her.

 

The Slytherin table was more than happy to have her at their table, hoping to gain some type of status by making friends with her, however when she just acted like normal they went back to ignoring her. 

Well except for Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, and Draco. The other two seemed truly interested in her, while Draco was just worrying about talking to Granger.

“Oh no. Incoming.” Daphne muttered.

Natasha turned to see Ron and Ginny stalking over. 

Ron stepped forward, in Natasha’s face. “You took scabbers, didn’t you? One second both you and him were at the Burrow, the next second, both of you are gone.”

“Right… Did I forget to mention that I was undercover, staking out a fugitive murderer that was a unregistered animagus rat? Damn... Must’ve slipped my mind to let you know that your pet was actually a criminal.” She shrugged. “Go look up Sirius Black’s trial.”

Ron frowned, heading back for the Gryffindor table.

Ginny glared at her. “You stole my diary. I know you did!”

“The diary that was laced with dark magic? Yeah I used it to get into the Chamber of Secrets and kill the basilisk.” Natasha smiled politely. “It was a soul leech, so I destroyed it. You’re welcome.”

The girl sputtered. “That’s not true! Tom wasn’t dark magic!”

“By Tom i’m assuming you mean Tom Marvolo Riddle, otherwise known as the Dark Lord.” Natasha let her smile fade and her voice lower. “Now, you _could_ admit you were the one that was letting the Dark Lord’s soul open the Chamber of Secrets, _or_ you can go back to Gryffindor table, pretend that we just were fighting over your crush on Harry ‘golden boy’ Potter.”

The girl went white, stumbling back, before turning to run back to her table.

Draco whistled lowly. “Remind me not to piss you off.”

“Then don’t join the Dark Lord.” Her smile was thin and the whole table seemed to turn to listen to her if they weren't already. “Because I plan to kill him and like I told you Draco, I don’t fight enemies except to kill. The death eaters that aren’t innocent,  _ whoever  _ _they might be_ , are on my shit list. Meaning they’re my enemies.”

The table was silent.

She stood, picking up Obsidian and nodding to Draco. “I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow Draco.”


	22. Who You Gonna Call? GHOST LOKI!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight WARNING for Rape/Non-Con  
> Not all that graphic, but if you're not okay with that: Skip down to the bolded sentence: "Then he ran out." and you should be all clear and free of anything too uncomfortable  
> Basically Lockhart kidnapped Nat with three older Slytherins via potion and was going to eventually delver her to the Dark Lord... oh and Natasha is debating asking Death to go back to her timeline once it's all over  
> <3 Stay safe loves <3

It was late, both Sirius and Regulus fat alseep, but for some reason Natasha couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes. 

Luna had given her a strange warning about not trusting blondes before the girl had smiled thinly and gone to bed.

Her brain had drifted through and now she was thinking about her team.

Loki, in all his dramatics, had basically told her she'd died. But maybe... when everything was over, maybe she could ask Death to take her back to her timeline, since then there would only be one Natasha. 

She stared at the ceiling, deep in thought.

A soft knock on the door sounded and Natasha slowly untangled herself from the two Black brothers, padding to the door. 

Opening it, she saw Lockhart there, smile wide. 

“Morning... What can I do for you?” was her sleepy greeting. She knew it was morning as the windows on the far side of the room had already begun to lighten.

“I was trying to find my way back from the owlery and…I seem to be lost... Your portrait said you could help?”

Something in the back of her brain told her not to leave the room, but she nodded, tired and feeling sluggish from staying up most of the night. “Right. Okay.” She shut the portrait behind her. “This way.” 

Natasha started to lead the man to the stairs when arms grabbed her and a potion was forced down her throat.

 

With a groan, she felt the ring on her middle finger and the silver bands trying to burn through whatever the Lockhart had dosed her with. Prying her eyes open, she found she was tied to the sinks in the second floor boy’s bathroom. 

Ironic.

Lockhart stood over her, frowning, three slytherin boys standing at his back. “You’re a pretty one that’s for sure...”

Natasha let her eyes go wide, playing the scared child. “W- what are you doing?”

One of the boys put his hand on the skin of her hip and she felt her blood run cold. “Don’t worry about it pretty, you won’t even remember when we’re done with you.”

These boys were… seventh years? Natasha felt at the ties on her wrists, finding she had little to no give. These boys had been smart in their precaution. A place the whole school was avoiding… Natasha was alone without her weapons, body feeling numb due to whatever they'd given her.

“Oh come on Romanoff. You can’t get out of this?” Sitting on a nearby bench was Loki’s spirit. 

“Loki… either help me or go away.” She spit out, irritated. 

With a shrug, the man disappeared.

A rough hand grabbed her chin. “Even your patronus knows you’re screwed.  _ Literally _ .” Hands were pushing up her shirt and she closed her eyes, trying to get the movement back in her limbs to snap her fingers

A hand slapped her across the face and Lockhart smiled poisonously. “No closing your eyes.”

She bared her teeth, growling like a wild animal. “I’ve walked through hell and come out on the other side. Multiple gods have tried to make me bow to them and i’ve been tortured to many times to count. _Do your_ _ worst _ .” Then with a snap her binds were gone, kneeing Lockhart in the jaw. 

The three boys rushed out to confine her and Lockhart scowled, tilting his head as the sound of footsteps echoed down the hall. “Obliviate her!” 

**Then he ran out.**

Natasha fought off the boys as best she could but something made her unsteady, limbs weak. The doors slammed open a few seconds later, Sirius and Regulus coming in with their wands out, Snape and Luna following them.

Luna steadied her quickly. “I told you not to trust him.” Her face was upset, too close to tears.

“I know Luna. I know- and I didn’t listen because i’m an idiot.”

“Indeed.” Snape pulled her up, scanning her for injuries. “Now can you  _ control  _ your  _ pets _ ?”

Looking over, Sirius and Regulus had cornered the two boys, casting the most harmful jinxes they could think of without them being fatal. Natasha sighed, exhaustion creeping up on her. “Siri? Reg? Please…”

Both stopped, turning to look at her. 

She slumped, Snape barely catching her, putting a hand on her forehead and cursing. Her vision swam. “She’s fighting off some sort of potion!”

“What is it?” Sirius sounded almost frantic. 

Snape snapped at the man. “I don’t know! I have to get her to Pomfrey, do diagnostics-”

“We might not have time for that!” 

“There’s no other way fo-”

Natasha felt a soft hand brush back the hair sticking to her face. “Amortentia and Draught of Peace.”

The others paused. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“She’s a seer for Merlin’s sake!” Regulus shouted

Snape picked her up and started running, footsteps following him. “Those idiots! The Ashwinder Eggs and the Helborne Syrup would be _poisonous_ if combined!”

Natasha felt her tattoos heat up as she was laid down on a potions desk, eyes focusing just enough to see Loki sitting above her, voice silky smooth “It’s almost time.”

“N- No.” She shook her head.

_ “The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water spout...”  _

“L’ki!” She tried to grab the spirit. Her voice was raw, vision starting to spot.

_ “Down came the rain and washed the spider out…”  _

“Come on Snape!” Sirius cried.

“I’m going as fast as I can!” The man cried back from the storage closet.

_ “Out came the sun and dried up all the rain…”  _

“Found it!” Snape ran out and cool hands guided her mouth open, a potion poured down her throat. “This should counteract the Amortentia… and then the Calming drought shouldn’t be harmful.”

_ “And the itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.”  _ Loki sung, grinning as Natasha sat up, sucking in a deep breath. 

She swiped a hand through the spirit, making him disappear. “I hate that song.”

The three men laughed, relief and exhaustion clear on their faces. 

“I’m starting to hate it now too.” Regulus smiled, pulling her into a hug.

“At least he came to get me.”

Natasha looked at Snape over Regulus’ shoulder. “Loki did?”

Snape nodded. 

She shook her head, slumping against the taller Black brother. “Either way... I think I need to sleep for three days.”

Luna laughed. “Well, good thing is that no one’s going to bother you anytime soon.”

“What did you do Moon…”

“You’ll see!” Luna laughed, skipping out.

“Nothing but trouble, all of you.” Natasha muttered, earning chuckles from the two brothers.

 

In the morning, Natasha dressed down in yoga pants and a soft ACDC t-shirt. Drinking coffee from the largest mug she had, she followed Luna into the Great Hall, before pausing.

Multiple different teachers were trying to get the three slytherin boys down from where they were hanging from the ceiling. On their bare chests were magical tattoos reading ‘ _I’m a dirty pig_ ’, ‘ _I eat my own shit_ ’, and ‘ _My brain’s full of barf_ ’.

Natasha burst out laughing, having to lean on the blonde girl next to her.  The whole great hall watched as she snickered into Luna’s shoulder. 

“What is the meaning of this Miss Romanov? Should you not be trying to help get these boys down?” Dumbledore’s eyes were amused, like he knew what had happened but wanted her to say it.

“Should I help the three boys that were going to rape me and then deliver me to the Dark Lord? I think they deserve worse, but sure, i’ll help.” With a wave of her hand, the boys were cut loose, and only a second from them splattering against the ground did she catch them with her magic.

Stalking forward, the students parted for her. 

Natasha leaned over the boys, eyes cold. “Now… I think you’re all _pigs_ , but the Headmaster thinks I should be lenient. So listen up. By the power of magic imbued in this ground, whenever you’re on Hogwarts ground your  _ manly  _ bits will be gone. Like you’re neutered dogs. As guardian of this place, I mote it be to protect all my sisters that would be hurt by these boys.” 

The boys cried out in pain.

“Being that painful must mean you’ve done this before.” She shook her head, spitting at the tangled forms. “Disgusting.”

With a shake of her head, she stalked over to the Slytherin table. “Hey Draco!”

The pale boy looked a little green, eyebrows furrowed. “Did they touch you?”

“Not before Onyx and Padfoot got to them.”

“Good.” The frown on Draco’s face was deep. “They don’t deserve to call themselves Slytherins.” 

A few others nodded along with him.

“They don’t belong here at all.” Natasha smiled. “Anyway... I think you have an apology to make?”

Darco followed her silently across the great hall, stopping by the Gryffindor table.  She nudged him.  Hanging his head, he stepped forward. “Granger?”

The trio looked up, the whole table turning to watch. Harry met her eyes and she smiled reassuringly, bumping shoulders with Draco lightly. “Come on Dray…”

Squaring his shoulders, Draco looked at Hermione. “Granger I- I’m-... I apologize!”

Laughing lightly, Natasha buried her head in her hands.

“Is this a joke?” The girl’s face was flushed red.

“No! No i’m really sorry!” Draco was turning red also.

Natasha snorted. “You two are oblivious. I’ll make sure that Draco finds you at lunch. You can both splutter about how you’re bad at flirting over a nice  _picnic_. Come on Draco our breakfast will get cold.”  Mentally thanking Romilda Vane for giving her the idea, she pulled him away, the boy turning red up to his hairline. 

Hermione made something akin to a surprised squeak, causing her to chuckle. 

Idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lockhart got away... but he'll get his own eventually  
> Any ideas for how to get rid of him? <3


	23. Lions, Tigers and- No, Not The Friggin' Spiders!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearing up the Loki-visiting-thing... He asked for three visits (bc three's lucky or whatever) so he'll show up this time and one more time...  
> Ha ha ha.. you thought you could get away from the spiders? Ha ha ha... No.  
> P.S. I like to use italic for both sarcasm and emphasis in speech, but also for creature's voices to push the abnormal way they talk... hope that isn't too confusing <3

Defense came around, Draco shyly going over to Hermione and sitting next to her (after Natasha had threatened him with the imperius curse).

“They're cute.” Natasha smiled at the two blushing fools. “Oblivious, but cute.”

Regulus was sitting primly in the seat next to her, hissing at anyone who came near, but he seemed to sneeze at her comment.

She turned to look at him in betrayal. “You're laughing! I keep thinking you're sneezing you furball!” 

Sirius huffed from where he was laying at her feet.

“Good morning class!” Lockhart strode in. “Today we will be talking about Werewolves! Werewolves are especially dangerous and beastly creatures that have little to no moral-”

Padfoot growled lowly.

Lockhart glanced at her. “...Little to no moral qualms against ripping people to shreds-”

Padfoot growled louder.

“Will you control your dog please, Miss Natasha!”

Natasha shook her head. “He's not going to stay quiet. A good friend of mine is a werewolf. He's actually the kindest man I know, and he always struggles to make sure people are safe during full moons.” She didn't personally know the ‘Lupin’ Sirius used to tell her stories about when she'd visit, but she knew he was a good man and wasn't about to let the idiot in front of her vilify a whole race.

“Detention for backtalk, Miss Natasha.” Lockhart continued. “As I was saying, Werewolves are horrendous beasts that have no humanity-”

Sirius stood up, barking.

“Hey, Padfoot, come on let's get out of here.” It wasn't like she could stand the man's face anyway.

“That's a week of detention!”

She smiled at the blonde man. “I'll let Snape know we'll be playing more chess then. Excuse us professor.”

 

Going into the Forbidden Forest, it was only a little while before Regulus and Sirius were walking behind her as humans. Sirius looked pissed, Regulus like he'd heard this man's rant before. “Moony's not a beast! He has as much control as anyone I've ever heard of maybe more!”

“Lupin might not be, but look at Fenrir! He’s as wild as they come!” Regulus shot back.

Sirius made a face. “Fenrir choses to be a monster, just like he chose to serve You-Know-Who!”

“And I didn’t?” Regulus pulled up his sleeve, showing off the Dark Mark on his arm. “I’ll be stuck with this forever! Forever in pain whenever that man calls because I made a mistake! Because I didn’t want to be  _ beaten  _ like my older brother was!”

Both brothers were silent for a second before Sirius looked around. “Where’d Natasha go?”

“Darlings! Please, whatever you do,  _ don’t  _ come inside the cave... Okay?” Natasha called from inside the cave.

Both were instantly trying to get into the cave, but it was blocked off by a magical shield. “Natasha?” 

They saw the red-haired woman standing in front of a giant spider the size of two cars.

She smiled back at them. “Hey, don’t you two ever listen?” 

A low voice resonated from the clicking mandibles of the spider. _“Thank you for killing the ancient beast in the chamber. Now my children can feast without fear, especially if fresh meat wanders so willingly in our midst.”_

Natasha slowly started moving backwards. “I must warn you, I’m not exactly tasty. Not sure your own species would taste so good. You are an arachnid, yes?” 

The large spider paused, but the clicking of the Padfoot-sized spiders got closer. _“We are acromantulas.”_

“I’m Black Widow. The most dangerous of all the spiders.” Natasha grinned, hoping to hell it worked and they would leave her alone.

The massive spider paused, before narrowing its eyes. _“You stand on two feet and your flesh is weak. You are not a danger.”_ The spider clicked. _“Goodbye, Black Widow._ ”

A spider dropped on the place she’d been standing, as she rolled out of the way and drew her guns. “Target practice with Clint, right Tasha? We used to shoot spiders.” Natasha muttered to herself. 

A spider lunged, but a single green light sent it to the ground, not moving. 

Waves of spiders crawled forward. 

“Behind you!” Sirius’ cry made her spin shooting two more spiders down. 

“Well… I guess it’s time to see if these babies can run out of bullets.” Natasha’s smile was shaky before she leaped into battle. 

With Sirius and Regulus calling out warnings, she managed to cut a dent in the spiders, but they just kept coming. Dead carcasses littered the ground around her. 

“Your right!” 

Too slow, she screamed hoarsely as a spider bit down on her arm. With a flash of green light she shot the spider in the gut, kicking it away and knocking over a few others.

_“Give up, human.”_ The low voice commanded. _“You will not survive.”_

Natasha cut a path to the glowing barrier with her other gun, tucking her right arm under her armpit as it stung along with the Deathly Hallows tattoo. “I’m not going to give up!” She backed up against the barrier, shooting at anything that tried to come near. “Pietro! Come on! If this works from memory i’m calling on you, dead or not!”

The lanky man in a silver tracksuit appeared, tilting his head at her as his eyes widened. “Giant spiders. You do  _ not  _ fool around Romanoff.”

“Yes! Great! Can you get a message to someone? Or hell, just  _ get  _ someone?”

“Who do you need?”

Natasha shot another round of spiders, panting heavily and ignoring the pounding on the barrier behind her. “The old man with long white hair and weird robes, the woman that looks like every Slovakian grandmother, and the vampire that’s in the dungeons.”

“Got it.” A blinding blue light and the man was gone.

“Natasha! You’ve been poisoned and you need help! Pull down the barrier!” Regulus slammed his fist on the barrier, making in waver.

She smiled at him crookedly. “I won’t let you two get hurt. I’m your guardian, remember?”

With blue light, Pietro grinned at her from the other side of the barrier, three adults by his side. “They did not see  _ that  _ coming.” 

Laughing, she watched the man disappear. 

Then two squads of Unspeakables appeared behind the five teachers, instantly pulling out their wands.

“Before I shut down the barrier, anyone who does not want to fight can leave!” No one moved and she looked up towards the sky, shooting off the creatures. “Hey Life! I have a message for that one idiot: Wanna dance?”

There was a long pause where the whole group watched as the spiders crept closer to Natasha.

“Dance?” Loki appeared next to her, flesh and blood. He stabbed a spider, making a face. “Well this is disgusting. More so than those giant sea creatures last week.”

She held out her uninjured arm. “Shall we?”

He took her hand, and the barrier dropped. Natasha and Loki re-appearing in the center of the pit, a green bubble around them. “I think some music is in order.” With a flick of his hand, ‘Daddy Issues’ started playing. “Fitting don’t you think?”

Natasha just laughed.

The green barrier was brought down, and back to back the two Avengers fought off the spiders. Loki with his lightning fast reflexes and knifes summoned of green magic, Natasha with her guns. 

“ _ And if you were my little girl, I'd do whatever I could do, I'd run away and hide with you, I love that you got daddy issues.”  _ Loki sung, voice mocking.

Natasha flt a wave of heat go through her from the venom, leaning heavily on the god.

“Romanoff?” A spider bit her leg and she shot it weakly. Loki's eyes widened at where her arm was almost completely black with venom. “You moron! You’ve been bit before!” Loki put an arm around her and they were back in the group near the entrance. 

“Natasha!” Sirius ran to her, taking her off of the man's hands

Loki sneered. “She’s in no state to fight. Keep her here.”

“Loki?”

The man frowned down at Natasha. “I’m only doing this because you got me a boyfriend.”

Natasha grinned weakly as the man disappeared back into the midst of the spiders. “Does  _ he  _ know you’re a overbearing asshole?” A golden knife was suddenly in her thigh and she clenched her teeth. “ _ Fuck _ you’re a bad sport!”

“Stop messing with my love life!” was the yell back she got.

“Don’t _stab_ me you ass!”

Loki’s laugh was unmistakable. 

She grinned up at Sirius and Regulus. “He’s  _ definitely  _ getting some goo-” 

Then the venom hit her heart and she felt the Deathly Hallows burn, falling to her back as her whole body spasmed.

Faintly she could hear yells, but she was too focused on the pain lighting up her whole body. Her own blood rejecting the venom, pushing it out of her body any way it could. Her body lurched to the side, spitting up the black venom until she was just heaving up blood. 

With a cough, she fell slack, feeling her body drawing magic from the earth to replenish her blood, to keep her alive.

The lights around her faded.

She blinked up at Loki, who raised an eyebrow. “Why am I getting the urge to sing a midgardian nursery rhyme?”

“ _ Please _ go fuck your boyfriend _instead_.” Her voice was horse, the bitter taste of blood lingering in her mouth. 

Loki shrugged. “If you insist.” He stood, smiling. “Oh. I forgot to mention… I asked for three visits and this is my second… I’ll come over in a few years, see what’s up.”

“And the others?” 

“Thor liked the poptarts.”

Natasha grinned as the man disappeared, slumping back. “One point to Lokes… he probably make the big guy’s _life_ , introducing him to those...”

“Natasha… Are you done or do you want to continue to bleed out?”

She looked over at where the cave was littered with dead spiders, before nodding. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Natasha!” Kiwi and Ladybug both enveloped her in big hugs. “We heard that Obsidian had put in for a permanent transfer but we didn’t know- You almost died!”

Natasha looked to where Regulus had turned back into a black cat, not meeting her eyes. “Yeah. Death doesn’t seem to stick very well.”

Dumbledore smiled lightly. “If we could all go back to the castle, it’s almost lunch and madame Pomfrey will have quite the workload full with the Princess.”

Sirius shifted back into a dog. 

She poked at where her wounds were healing, albeit slowly. “Yeah… This should be fun.”

Onyx batted her hand away, eyes narrowed and she just chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I- um- wrote the rest of the story on impulse...  
> And cried. A lot.  
> It's some heavy shit and you have to be dead inside to not get a little emotional.  
> Not that I'm not dead inside, but... It's been a long trip my loves...  
> And yeah, It's hard for me to end stories.  
> Just a few more chapters! <3


	24. Paradise Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's that trope of "wow everything's going so well TIME TO MESS IT UP"  
> Because fun fact: I control Life and Death.... perks of being the writer <3

Natasha was laying in a hospital bed, per orders, listen to a small radio she’d transfigured.

The only reason she was actually _in_ the hospital bed though was because of Padfoot's weight across her lap. If not, she'd be downstairs at lunch, talking with Luna.

Someone cleared their throat and Natasha sat up, ignoring Onyx’s hiss of disapproval from where he was perched like a gargoyle on her chest. “Hey Draco.” She turned the volume on the radio down, frowning when she noticed the boy’s stiff posture. “What’s wrong?”

“Princess Natasha I presume…” A silky voice and a man she assumed was Draco’s father stepped forward, to his son’s side. “I hear you’ve been twisting my son’s arm to consort with a  _ halfblood _ .”

“So predictable, you Death Eaters.” Natasha rolled her eyes, waving her hand so that a privacy charm was up. “Start with the insult and then ask for help... What do you want Lucius Malfoy?”

The man sneered. “I was told by a friend... that you aim to destroy the Dark Lord.” She raised an eyebrow and the man’s face twitched. “And you know about-”

“The horcruxes? Yeah i’ve destroyed five already.”

Lucius looked to be in the middle of amusement and scorn. “He’s realized. He’s using his last Horcrux and the blood you left in the Forbidden Forest to get a new body. He’s going to attack Hogwarts.”

Natasha glanced at Regulus, who slipped off to tell both Dumbledore and Coffee Bean. “Do you know when?”

“Beginning of May. In only a couple of weeks.”

“Get your wife and any Death Eaters that want a second chance together. Meet me at the edge of the wards next week. I promise you at least safe passage away from the Dark Lord.”

The man nodded turning away.

“Oh, and Lucius?”

Silver eyes met hers. 

“Learn to  _ start _ with the plea for help.” She smiled as the man rolled his eyes, walking away.

Draco looked at her strangely, tilting his head. “Why- You said you hated all Death Eaters.”

“I think…” Natasha looked at the boy, smile kind. “I know, more than anyone, what it’s like to be taken into a organization that isn’t what it says it is, but before you can get out you’re trapped.” With a smile, she waved her hand. “Go say goodbye to your father.”

Draco bowed his head in thanks before running out.

Natasha sat still for a second, looking down at where Padfoot was laying across her lap. “Can you go tell Dumbledore about the changes in the plans?”

Padfoot barked, sitting up.

“I’ll be fine. Go.”

With one last wary look, the dog ran out of the medical wing.

 

After she was sure that no one was around, Natasha cast a privacy spell. “I, Daughter of Light and Dark, ask for my favor to be filled.”

With the chime of bells, the small girl with shiny hair and shimmering wings perched on the end of her bed. “Daughter of Light and Dark, you ask the fey a favor?”

“I ask a favor to be repaid. One that i've already been promised.”

Sharp teeth glited at her as the girl tilted her head. “...And what can the fey do for the Daughter of Light and Dark?”

Natasha smiled easily. “I ask that when the reformed group of Death Eaters show up at the barrier in a week’s time, their Dark Marks are removed.”

The fey looked amused. “That is it? No riches, no longer life, just… binding magic?” It leaned in, eyes coin-like in their silver glint. “You could go home… Daughter of Lost Time… go see the family you wish to hold so much...”

She shook her head once, gaze turning frosty. “You will do this now, or return my offerings and remain in captivity.”

Snarling the fey narrowed its eyes. “Your wish is our command. The favor is now void.” 

With a haunting laugh, the creature was gone.

Natasha leaned back, sigh heavy.

 

“You want to go home so bad…”

Her head shot up to where Life was watching her. “I want to see my family, yes. But I will wait. I will defeat the Dark Lord first, complete my mission.”

LIfe hummed, stepping to the edge of her bed. “Maybe you need a _refresher_ … Maybe you’ll need more _motivation_ than I thought.” The woman clicked her tongue. “You’re just as bad as Sirius, honestly, I thought you two would _understand_ …”

Natasha felt the warm hands cover her eyes, skin heating up to where it was almost burning.  She felt like she was falling, falling, coming unattached from her very skin. 

Then she opened her eyes, thousands of colored wildflowers surrounding where she lay, clad in a flowing white dress. 

A voice drifted to through the air.  _ “You can never go back.” _

Natasha blinked, looking around. 

For a second she could feel cold air and soft sheets on her skin, but she blinked and the feeling of sun on her skin returned.

“Natasha!” 

Looking up, she found Clint running toward her and she smiled, standing and greeting the group of people. 

She was home.

 

Tony apparently called the place ‘Paradise’, earning teasing from the rest of them. 

He told her that he’d found the large ranch house surrounded by wildflowers a while ago, and made it an off-the-grid safehouse. Though he did warn against going into the forest.

The just-big-enough ranch house was cozy, warm. Each room tailored to meet the person’s needs, and they all agreed Tony had outdone himself. The house was surrounded by a large field of wildflowers, and she found herself mesmerized by their gentle swaying.

But past the surrounding field a forest loomed. Dark and foreboding, she shivered every time she looked at the shadowy trees. None of the others would tell he what made those sounds she heard late at night if she looked into the trees long enough, but after a few days she just didn’t ask.

They all lived, comfortable. 

Life was good and family was even better.

Tony spent the time telling outrageous stories, making everyone laugh, Clint usually joining in to act out the stories with either Sam or Steve. 

They trained, but most of them usually ended up play fighting, Wanda using her powers to tickle Clint, or Strange turning someone into an animal and laughing when they freaked out.

Everything was bliss.

 

Kind of.

Natasha was laying down, head on Bruce’s lap as the man read, a hand curling through her hair lazily. The room around them were all talking softly, occasional laughter being heard. 

Close to sleep, she glanced over to where a blanket was lying on the other sofa, wishing she could reach it. Lazily moving her hand out like she could just will-

The blanket flew to her hand and the room fell into silence.

She frowned down at the blanket, sitting up and blinking away the fogginess in her brain. “What- Did I-”

Looking up, Clint was in front of her, frown slightly touching his lips. “I handed you the blanket.... You asked for it.... Don’t you remember?”

Natasha looked from the blanket to him. “I was-... I reached out and then-”

“I handed it to you.” The man laughed, but it was… off. “Go back to sleep Tasha. You’re imagining things.”

She did as told, wrapping the blanket around herself... but something in the back of her brain didn’t think something was right.

And there was something wrong with living somewhere named 'Paradise'...

But the more she fell asleep, the more the feeling faded away into dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! <3  
> So so so  
> Y'all nerds heard of djinn?  
> Yeah. I'm horrible. <3  
> Don't worry though. It gets worse. <3


	25. Death of A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still in 'Paradise'!

A few days later, Natasha made her way into the kitchen, rolling her eyes at Tony. “Very funny Stark, change around my whole room while I sleep, that’s _new_.”

The man looked up from his coffee, face a bit worried. “What?”

Natasha paused. “Someone changed around my room. Looks like i’m living in a castle. Very cute… Did Clint do it?”

The man stood, sending worried looks to the others. “Show me.”

She found herself in her room again, only the walls were stone, a large window looking over onto a glittering blue lake. A large bed sat in the middle of the room in front of a fireplace, and Natasha hissed as her head started to hurt. “Shit that's a fucking- ow- migraine... ”

Tony hurried her out of the room and into the kitchen. “I think Sam might have overdone it on the prank this time… You can sleep in Clint’s room until we get it changed back.”

“It’s not bad, in fact I actually like-”

The man fixed her with a look that was almost cold. “You’ll sleep in Clint’s room.”

She nodded hastily, headache subsiding after a second.

 

Natasha sat down heavily, breath heavy as she paused in the dance mob that the team was doing. “Why’re we here?” 

She saw a few people pause. 

“I mean, I know,  _ safe house  _ and everything… but what’s the danger? Surely we have some kind of mission?”

Steve sat down beside her with a smile. “It’s less of hiding and more of a... vacation.”

She stood, waving her arms. “Then let’s do something exciting! Go explore the world! Go climb a mountain!” She grinned at the others. “Go fight the beast in the woods!”

“No!” Clint grabbed her arm, eyes serious. “We don’t go in the woods and we don’t leave this house! End of discussion!”

Natasha felt herself flinch back at the harsh tone. 

Clint almost never raised his voice, and never at her. 

“Okay… Sorry…”

The man’s face sunk into guilt and he pulled her into a hug. “Sorry. Sorry for yelling it’s just… we only want to protect you. Just a few more weeks and then- then we can all go home.” He brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. “You can go back home with us.”

Her brain felt disoriented, but she smiled shakily. “Yeah… okay.”

 

Natasha was collecting wildflowers with Wanda, talking about boys and she listened with a smile as the girl ranted about Vision. 

Flicking her eyes to the edge of the forest as she’d taken to doing, Natasha froze.

A young girl, blonde hair falling to her waist in almost white strands, stood just inside the treeline. With a wave of her hands, the girl mouthed ‘Natasha!’ like she was yelling, but nothing came out.

Natasha stood. “Who-... What is she-”  She started towards the treeline but Wanda caught her arm. 

Wanda’s eyes were sad.  “It’s too late Tasha...”

Natasha looked back to the trees, about to point out that no, it was never too late… but a shadow fell over the girl, and she flickered, disappearing a second later.

“They’re just spirits. Bad dreams.” Wanda guided her into sitting, wiping at the tears she didn’t know she was crying. “They can’t get you here. You’re safe here.”

But Natasha still sobbed, feeling like something important had been taken from her.

 

It was late one evening.

She was sitting next to Steve and Sam, watching as everyone laughed and joked around. 

“What’s my greatest desire?”

The group all paused, turning to look at her. 

Sam smiled like she’d said something funny. “What?”

“What do I want most?” Natasha smiled teasingly. “Come on you all should know this! It’s like ‘how well do you know your teammate’ question number one!”

The others all shifted in their seats, looking at each other. 

Bruce looked up from his book, eyes fond. “You want to save everyone. You want everyone to be happy, to save everyone from pain.”

Natasha looked around the group. “And… my greatest fear?”

Tony spoke up, eyes understanding. “You fear the people you love dying and not being able to do anything about it.”

She looked around the group, not saying a word.

They all shifted again, waiting for her to say something.

Natasha’s smile was bitter when she finally spoke up. “You- none of you- ever understood that. You all thought I lived and breathed lies, when I really just wanted all of you to be safe.” She stood up carefully. “But I know lies… Just like I know none of this is real.”

“What do you mean?” Tony sounded almost confused, but there was an edge to his voice. 

“I wish it was daytime.” 

As soon as the words were said, the sun was out, bright.

She felt tears on her cheek. “None of this was real. None of you are who you say you are and I-…  This is all a lie. I don’t belong here… or in that other timeline with you.”

Clint stood. “Tasha?”

“Don’t get me wrong I love every single one of you-” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “But I have a new family, one that understands me, one that can see though the lies.” She turned, heading for the forest. 

An arm caught hers.

She looked back.

Clint's eyes were pleading. “Please. Tasha… you don’t have to go back. You can stay here, be free from all that burden. Life can find another champion… Say with us?”

Natasha brushed her hand across the man’s face gently, lovingly. “You know... Just as you know my fears, you already know what my choice is.” She looked to the group, memorizing each of their faces. “I’m sorry, but staying here means killing them… and I can’t do that.”

She was almost to the edge of the forest when she stopped.  Turning back, she saw the group standing together, watching her leave. “I hope you can forgive me for leaving you, because I know I never will…. But I fear this is goodbye.”

Stepping into the forest, she felt the familiar feeling of falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First choice- check  
> Sorry :(  
> It gets better eventually <3 <3


	26. Let's Go To War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Go To War" by Nothing More is the mood for this chapter and i'm L I V I N G  
> 'Screaming at the ones we love, like we forgot who we can trust'   
> Such a good lyric... <3

Natasha woke up slowly to the sounds of battle.

The medical wing was empty, cleared of everything but her bed, some of the windows broken.

Swinging her legs over to stand, her eyes caught a small brown-paper package. The gift that Coffee Bean had given her at the beginning of the year. The gift from Death.

Tearing open the paper, she saw a small stone with a paper. The paper read _‘I open at the close’_ in loopy letters.

Natasha hummed. “I’m going into battle, ready to kill Voldemort, ready to die as many times as it takes...”

The stone shimmered, and she found herself holding a blood red ring.

 _“You will not die until the task is filled, but be warned off actions that might get you killed, the penalty is high.”_ The whisper was quiet.

Natasha slipped on the ring and suddenly she was in her adult body, catsuit on with her guns strapped to her waist, Widow Bites glowing blue. She smiled, muttering to herself. “ _Let’s go to battle!_ ”

“After you, Red Queen.”

Turning, she saw the whole team. Everyone from Clint, to T’challa, to Peitro, all outfitted in their uniforms.

Her lips pulled into a bittersweet smile. “Once more unto the breach?”

Steve stepped to the front, drawing his shield off his back. “Once more unto the breach.”

Hulk roared, shaking the building.

 

They walked down, into the main courtyard, people moving for them easily and she turned to the group. “Team!”

They all straightened.

“Keep the werewolves and giants out of the way. The dementors will obey me.” Her eyes glinted. “Go raise some hell... And Hulk? Smash.”

Hulk roared, the group cheering, and then a light came over the group, and suddenly they were all standing there in flesh bodies. Something in her head told her the forms would only last a few hours though.

“GO!”

The team ran out, T’challa leading the Dora Milaje, Steve leading the Avengers.

Hulk smashed through the lines of Death Eaters, to grapple with the giant, Tony sending blasts at the beast with his repulsors. The others worked to clear off some of the Death Eaters and she saw the Wakandan forces working to slowly cut through the werewolves.

Natasha turned her eyes to the sky filled with dementors. “I, Speaker of Death, command you to leave us!”

The dementors all paused for a second before turning and retreating into the night.

But the death eaters apparated too fast for Clint’s arrows or Steve’s punches and there were too many of them for Peitro.

The Dora Milaje took down a good number of werewolves and the giant was knocked out, but it was too late.

They were fading.

Clint turned to Natasha, firing arrows as her did. “I’m sorry Nat… We’re all sorry, all we want is for you to be happy...”

She shook her head, pulling the man into a hug, relishing the feel of him _here_ and _alive_ under her hands. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay...”

“We all love yo-” With a flicker, they were gone.

Natasha charged up her Widow Bites, drawing only her pure black gun, anger seeping into her bones like a forest fire. “Come and get me you assholes!” With a war-cry, she ran into the mass of Death Eaters.

As she fought, her eyes caught on where Lockhart getting torn apart by a werewolf, grinning viciously.

She flipped, taking down one Death Eater, hitting another with her Widow Bites.

A green curse hit her, but nothing happened.

Natasha stood, fists bloody and eyes glowing more every time someone hit her with the killing curse, eyeing the circle of Death Eaters that were trying so _desperately_ to kill her.

She threw her head back, laughing, a bloody and violent thing that had the Death Eaters stepping back.

Her voice filled the air, cold and loud. “I demand to see your Lord! Come out and face me like a man Voldemort! We both know what you want and I have it!”

The Death Eaters stopped firing, all apperating away and a snake-like hiss washed over the whole area. _“Dispose of your dead… I will come back for you in six hours, Natasha Romanov… And you know what I want.”_

 

Natasha walked slowly into Hogwarts.

Pushing open the doors to the Great Hall, she was greeted with the sight of the injured being treated, the dead carted away.

Dumbledore stepped up to her, eyes kind. “Miss Romanov. I see you have returned from your sleep.”

“Yeah…”

She looked around, skin still tingling from the killing curses, eyes still glowing. Her eyes caught on where the Weasley family was crying over a body in Unspeakable robes, Sirius kneeling close by over the bodies of Regulus and a man she guessed was Remus Lupin, Tonks lying next to them, her hair still purple even in death.

But Natasha couldn't feel anything but numb. “And so many are dead because of it... What a shame.”

Sirius stood, eyes burning as he turned on her. “Have you no compassion? Have you no guilt!” He marched over, grief plain on his face. “Your _soldiers_ are dead, if that matters. They _died_ _thinking they were your friends! They died thinking that you would PROTECT THEM!”_

She held the man’s gaze, her own eyes devoid of emotion. “Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that. I’m Russian… or I was.”

Hands curled at his sides, Sirius looked torn between being heartbroken and angry. “I loved you! I loved you and you-” He shook his head, turning away. “I can’t look at you. I can’t even look at you.”

Natasha watched him go back to crying over the bodies, only her eyes finally caught the body on the other side of Tonks, blonde hair spread out over the ground and a smile on her face. She turned, knowing she wouldn’t be able to think if she let her emotions get to her.

Snapping twice, a man in heavy leather with an easy smile appeared. “Hey doll.”

“Not now Barnes. I’m sorry but I need the soldier.”

The man straightened, eyes going blank.

“ _Soldat_.” Her voice was harsh.

“Ready to comply.” The man looked through her with his blank eyes, voice almost robotic.

Natasha clenched her jaw. “Mission report. Status of the troops.”

The man’s voice lacked any type of emotion, just as her face did. They were both in 'soldier mode', relying on their training to get them though this. “More than 50% rebel troops dead, but only 40% enemy down... The bargaining chip is still alive.”

Natasha nodded stiffly, snapping her fingers again to summon Maria Hill and Nick Fury. “Come on. We’re having a war council.”

The three strode after her and she passed though the hall of the dead, speaking rapid Russian as they walked and planning out strategies.

 

Natasha waited, back to the remaining survivors, Winter Soldier by her side.

They left a gap between them and her, eyes wary on her as she stood tall.

Loki’s spirit appeared, leaning on her. “Come now Romanoff, you’re a spy, not a soldier... You can’t _actually_ think you can take on all of them.”

She raised an eyebrow at the man.

Loki sighed. “You lie through your teeth, sneak up on your enemies, but you don’t wage war. You don’t _actually_ fight for others… You could go back, to your family. Just give them up, let them die!”

Natasha shook her head. “Leave Loki. Before you embarrass yourself.”

He smiled. “Had to say it. Obligations... Good luck Tasha.” The man kissed her cheek and disappeared.

She turned to where Voldemort’s procession marched down the bridge. “Voldemort.” She bowed lowly. “Well met, Dark Lord.”

The snake-like man narrowed his eyes at her. “Natasha Romanov, The Red Queen… We finally meet… after you destroyed my horcruxes and _deformed_ my body!”

Natasha laughed. “You should have known better. Blood from an enemy, yes, but you didn’t notice that it was laced with acromantula poison? How amusing...”

“You _know_ what I want.” The man's voice was a low hiss.

She sighed, nodding slightly to the Winter Soldier. “Soldier, retrieve the bargaining chip.”

The spirit disappeared, before reappearing with Harry Potter in his metal hand, feet dangling from the ground.

The boy struggled, hands trying to find purchase on the metal surface. “Nat- asha..” He choked out.

She smiled sadly. “Alas… you must die Harry. No way around it. Sorry...”

The boy’s eyes widened and he stilled, terrified.

Voldemort laughed, the sound skin-crawling evil. “You are definitely interesting, Natasha Romanoff.”

Natasha didn’t even spare the man a glance, drawing out her black gun. “Sorry about this Harry, but it’ll be a bit of an uncomfortable trip… just remember not to ride the train.” With one last small smile, she shot the Harry Potter, the flash of green light illuminating the courtyard.

Harry slumped in the metal grip and she let herself wince before her face was falling flat. “Soldier, get him out of my sight.”

The Winter Soldier nodded at the que, taking Harry to the side and laying him down, standing over him protectively.

She looked to where Voldemort had crumpled to the ground, Death Eaters crowding around him, and a killing curse hit her back. Turning, she found Sirius pointing his wand at her.

“NOT _HARRY_!” Sirius looked distraught, firing killing curse after killing curse and Natasha felt his part of the bond to her shatter. The man sunk to his knees, voice full of anguish and heartbreak. “ _Why_?… I wish you’d _died_!”

Natasha rubbed the tattoo on her wrist symbolizing her bond to him, sending warmth and comfort through it, but stopped when she saw him flinch back.

With a heavy sigh, she moved away from the crowd of rebels, holding out her arms and looking at where Voldemort was picking himself up. “There! Harry Potter's dead!”

The red eyes narrowed in on her. “Bow to me! I want the champion of Life and Death to bow to me! I want the world to know that i’m above both-”

She snickered slightly, ducking her head.

The man paused, narrowing his eyes. “What?”

“Sorry...” Natasha grinned, chuckling. "One sec..."

"WHAT IS IT?"

"You made a mistake." Her lips curved up into a wide smile that didn't reach her glowing eyes. “And what a stupid mistake it was… Oh no, Tom Riddle, everyone’s laughing at you. Life, Death, _me…_ all because you made a _simple_ mistake…”

“What! What is it!” The man held out his wand, snarling. " _Answer_ _me_!"

Natasha felt her smile turn vicious. “You touched my family.” Then with a wave of power, she flicked her wrist, and all the built up killing curses manifesting into one beam of light, destroying the Dark Lord where he stood.

There was silence across the battle field.

“Soldier. Vitals.”

The Winter Soldier knelt beside Harry, before shaking his head.

She cursed. “Death! Death you bitch what the fuck did you do!”

A grinning woman with silky black hair appeared, smile on her thin lips. “But darling… I already know you’ll ask for the others, plus he was _promised_ to me! Be reasonable! You offered him up on a golden platter!”

“You may have me and any of the guilty Death Eaters, but not him. He has to live. I made a promise to the other champion and we both know he'll come after you if he finds out what happened.”

Death pursed her lips for a long second, before huffing. “All the guilty Death Eaters in trade for the dead rebellion troops… and five years of your life.”

Natasha looked to where Harry lay, dead.

The Winter Soldier came up to her. “Natalia can join us... In the wildflowers?”

Death shrugged. “I guess that's a version of the afterlife, sure.”

“Then I agree.”

With one last glance at the crowd watching her, Natasha nodded, grasping Death’s hand with a wry smile. “A vacation. For five years.”

Then, with a wave of light, the two women and the spirit were gone.

Over half the Death Eaters fell, dying where they stood, and gasps were heard as Harry Potter jolted, waking up with tears in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end (ish)  
> There's about two more chapters or so of just cleaning up all the loose ends...  
> :) <3


	27. Dramatic Entrances From The Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor time skip- Otherwise known as,   
> Five Years Later...  
> (ugh I had to math for this and it was horrible, hope you appreciate it you nerds <3 <3)

Five years passed.

 

Sixty months passed.

 

One thousand, eight hundred and twenty six days passed.

 

Forty three thousand, eight hundred and twenty four hours passed.

 

Two million, six hundred and twenty nine thousand, four hundred and forty minutes passed.

 

One hundred and fifty seven million, seven hundred and sixty six thousand, four hundred seconds passed.

 

Hogwarts rebuilt.

Lives went on.

Most of the structure of the walls were compromised from the battle, only the faint magic from Hogwart's grounds holding the school together. Most all the walls had some sort of damage or marking from the rampant spells that had been cast.

All except one. 

The tall wall to the right of the Great Hall's entrance-way was perfectly untouched, even when one of the heavy doors itself had fallen to the ground during the fight. And when the haggard Rebellion had made their way to the main hall to find the previously dead and injured blinking like they'd just _woken up_ \- the wall had gone unnoticed.

But not for long.

 

Sirius Black had Harry Potter's arm thrown over his shoulder, helping his godson walk even as the boy scowled at 'feeling fine'. Then the people parted, making way for a wide-eyed Regulus Black and a unkempt Luna Lovegood. 

But instead of the taller man speaking, like the others around them expected, Luna sprung forward, grabbing Sirius by the shirt, her eyes wild.  "Where'd she go? Why can't I _see_ her? Sirius! What happened!"

Sirius Black looked tired, but something in his eyes flicked with guilt at her words. "Natasha- Natasha's gone."

Luna's hands dropped, backing up. "No." Her voice was soft and yet sounded so small, so uncertain. "She can't be- She's the champion she has to be-" Luna fisted her hands into her robes. "Loki! Loki come on I summon you! Tony! Barnes?... Someone?..."

Regulus put one of his hands on the girl's shoulders. "They aren't coming... I'm sorry Luna..."

Harry frowned. "That's because the timer's not up."

"Harry's right, you have to-" Regulus paused, looking up at the pale Chosen One. "Wait, what?"

Harry pointed. 

On wall spared of any types of marks or defacement, was a golden plaque with a single sentence: _Nothing Can Be Lost Forever._

Under that was a sequence of numbers. 

1825 days, 23 hours, 31 minutes, and 7 seconds.

The group watched the seconds tick down.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

The minutes ticked down to thirty. 

Harry smiled weakly. "She's coming back."

Luna looked at the timer, unbridled hope in her eyes for a second before it was gone. the blonde girl shook her head. "I don't see it... Natasha's lost. For good."

Both Sirius and Regulus looked at the young seer, meeting eyes, and then both knew they didn't share Harry's hope either. 

"Come on Harry. You should get looked at." Sirius steered the young boy away from the wall.

 

A window with every name that died to Voldemort’s wand went up in the place of new stained glass in the Great Hall. 

The ceiling was re-done with extra-strong magical glass to let sun into the darkened hall, and the walls were rebuilt with stronger wards woven into them. 

The students slowly returned to their normal rambunctious attitude as each year of war-torn students graduated, new, innocent students coming in. 

But even with the lighter atmosphere, it became a tradition to stop in front of the Great Hall and press two fingers to a golden plaque that adorned the wall. Old students went, new students came… and yet, the tradition remained.

The gold never tarnished and the one time a student tried to graffiti it, the whole staff started to get ready to throw a fit, some of the teachers holding back a few older students.

But a messy-haired seventh year settled his hand on the first year’s shoulder, calmly explaining what the plaque was. By the end of the story, the boy was crying as he tried to wipe off the graffiti with his sleeve, saying he was sorry as he cried.

After that it became a part of the Hogwarts greeting speech, the story of a red-haired woman that would come back to protect Hogwarts.

Sirius Black became the Defense Professor, Remus Lupin the Muggle Studies Professor, Regulus Black the honorary guardian. 

Yet both Black brothers never honored the plaque, nor did Luna Lovegood.

None of the students asked them directly, not after Sirius had given the last kid who asked the iciest death glare anyone could manage and Regulus had given another a week's detention for implying he didn't care. 

When questioned about it, Harry Potter said they lost too much hope to trust it.

But the students still believed.

 

And the golden numbers counted down, slowly. 

Counted down the days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds.

Five years worth.

 

The school buzzed with excitement when the numbers got less than ten days.

The halls buzzed with excitement, classes getting hard to control.

Students would pass by the wall, kiss their hands and press it to the numbers, flowers were laid down in front of the wall, and the energy of Hogwarts grew lighter like a weight was being lifted off the school.

 

One day left.

When the numbers shifted, the space for days hitting 00, the students raised a cheer that shook the walls until they were yelled at to go to class by multiple teachers

The whole school waited, holding its breath. 

And in the last hour, all the students in the school waited to watch the golden numbers to disappear, for something magical to happen.

But the numbers stopped at 0000 00 00 01.

One second left.

Sirius Black pushed his way through the crowd, scowling at the golden numbers, but there was a soft of pained misery in his eyes as he turned to the students. “Okay! Five years are up, and for what! _Nothing_!” No one spoke. “Now get your skinny butts into the Great Hall! Dinner’s already on the tables!”

The kids muttered sullenly, moving sluggishly to their tables.

Luna looked at Sirius, putting a hand on the man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Dogstar… But we all knew it was too good to be true.”

The Hall was silent, morose in their mood.

Everyone thought they'd been tricked out of their savior, their hero.

 

And no one was there to see the numbers change to 0000 days 00 hours 00 minutes 00 seconds.

 

Halfway though dinner Hogwarts cracked with energy, ground shaking as warmth spread through the air, the smell of leather and chocolate underlying the air room. 

Sirius and Regulus' heads snapped up, looked at each other with wide eyes.

The heavy doors opened. 

“I would say you’ve missed me… but for some reason you all look unhappy.” Natasha smiled, green eyes twinkling, hands shoved in the pockets of her worn out jeans, some muggle band logo on her worn t-shirt.

Before anyone could say anything, two shapes tackled her to the floor. A large black dog licking her face as a small cat purred and rubbed it’s head over her chin. She laughed, the sound ringing around the hall.

“You’re late.” 

Both Onyx and Padfoot backed off

Natasha sat up with a smile to Luna. “No no. Never late Miss Moon. The timer was off. Life set it a little early because she’s a bitc-" Natasha grimaced, remembering where she was. "Well... She's not _nice_.”

The girl shook her head, pulling Natasha up. The Black brothers shifted back, pulling them both into a group hug.

When they let her go, she smiled, waving her hands. “Go go. Sit for a second.”

Doing so, Natasha smiled around the room. 

“Oh you all look so big… But I think I have some things to explain...” Natasha sighed, frowning. “Where to start though…”

“How about with the attitude? You get scary in soldier mode.” Barnes leaned on her heavily.

She huffed. “Go away idiot! You got your revenge for the Winter Soldier episode and dyed my hair blue already! I couldn’t get it out for weeks!”

“But Tasha…  _ I  _ dyed you hair blue.” Clint pouted from her other shoulder.

Barnes smirked. “I was the one who rearranged your room.”

Natasha scowled at both of them. “Yes. Lovely. Five years of bothering me and you still show up at the worst moments!” 

They both snickered and disappeared.

“Bloody idio-”

“Natasha... the explanation?” Minerva tried not to smile at the younger student’s awed faces. 

“Right right.” Natasha straightened. “If you didn't know, I’m not from this world or this timeline... I was chosen as the champion of Death and Lady Magic, to kill Voldemort. I was given the power over Life and Death in turn for unquestioning loyalty. I was a spy in my last life, but now I was made into a soldier.”

No one said a word.

“I died. Many times. I died killing the basilisk, I died killing Aragog, I died with every killing curse that hit me.” She cleared her thought. “But I had a family. In the other timeline. All of my spirits, they were all my family… And I missed them. I wanted to go back more than anything in the world.”

A crowd of spirits appeared, all watching her. A man in a pristine suit put a hand on her shoulder, smile sad.

She just nodded to the billionaire. “Lady Magic put me in ‘paradise’...”

The whole crowd of spirits chuckled, Clint nudging Tony, who grinned sheepishly.

“My personal heaven. My family was there and alive, I didn’t have to constantly worry about saving people…. And I was given a choice.” She looked around the room. “Either stay there, let all of you die and get to go back to my family… Or come back and fight. But if I came back, I would never actually get to see these people in the flesh... ever again.”

Her voice was choked up and she dipped her head, swallowing tears.

The group came forward whispering words of love and encouragement.

“And so she made her choice.” 

Natasha spun, seeing Loki leaning against the doors, in his full battle armor. 

He then looked at her, face finding guilt. “You do know that I lied when I said you'd died… right? I can’t imagine the infamous Black Widow would ever be tricked by someone so lowly at the God of Mischief...”

Natasha chuckled wetly and the spirits disappeared. “Yeah. guessed you’d been trying to protect me, tell me I died in that universe so that I wouldn’t want to go back… How’s your boyfriend?”

Loki grinned, strutting over to her with a wink. “ _ Delicious as always.” _

She punched his arm, making him wince. “Gross. And Thanos?”

“The other champion kicked him in the di-  _ crotch-  _ for you. Said you’d like that. His head is currently on your wall, as _gross_ as that is…”

Natasha grinned. “Serves the ugly purple grape right. This your last trip?”

The god nodded. “Three trips are all I get.”

“Go then. You have a planet to protect.” She pulled him into a hug. “And take good care of your boyfriend.”

Loki squeezed her. “Another time Agent Romanoff.”

“Another time Reindeer Games.”

The man disappeared.

Natasha shook her head turning back to the head table. “I’m guessing the goblins gave you the artifacts? And you figured out Harry Potter was made to be a horcrux…” She spun on her heal, smiling at Harry. “So? Where’d you go?”

Harry stood up, hugging her. “I got to see my parents and grandparents. Thank you.”

She hummed, ruffling the boy’s hair, before he sat down again. “I destroyed the horcrux, making Voldyshorts mortal, and then killed him because  _ honestly he was kind of a dick _ .”

“Natasha!” McGonagall frowned as the students (and some of the staff) laughed.

“Sorry Minerva.” She swallowed her grin. “Anywho, by the time i’d woken, too many people had died. I knew that I couldn't save them until Moldy Voldy was dead, so I went into my so called ‘ _ soldier mode _ ’.”

“Basically she gets really cold and then starts planning on how to absolutely destroy the other side.” Barnes spoke up. “Absolutely terrifying. This one time she went into soldier mode while playing Risk and the others just up and quit.”

Natasha pursed her lips. “ _Weaklings_.”

“You had your knives out!”

“Whatever.” She waved her hand. “I made a deal with Death. The lives of all the guilty Death Eaters for all the people who had died in the battle unjustly. And five years of my life for the soul of one person promised to Death.”

Her eyes fixed on a tall boy sitting off to her side, messy hair hiding a familiar scar.

“The soul of one Harry James Potter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OML One more chapter and we're done...  
> This is so- I'm so ecstatic that I'm actually finishing a story, but wow it's slightly heartbreaking. My child, all grown up...


	28. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is upon us!

The world changed. 

Natasha took over as Guardian of Hogwarts again, enjoying her time around the kids.

After a few years, she took over for Head of Slytherin, letting Snape focus fully on his potions.

Lockhart himself was saved from dying via werewolf in the battle, but got into a sticky situation of impregnating a noble and then oblivating her, too much of an idiot to forget that 1) she was way underage and 2) magic diagnostic scans were a thing…  He got the death penalty and in turn, Natasha threw a party that lasted three days (and almost destroyed the Great Hall).

After seven years when she was content to the fact no children at Hogwarts could see the Thestrals, Sirius, Regulus, and her moved to Russia and she took the throne.

 

Sirius and Regulus never left her side, but she never married either, not wanting to put anyone in harm when she was under constant threat of assassination.

Natasha visited Hogwarts every other year, giving lectures and visiting the new generation of teachers that included Neville, Hermione, Luna, Harry, and Draco. 

During that time she worked closely with Remus Lupin and the magical governments from around the world to give creatures better laws.

The Duke of Russia and his wife died to Dragon Pox, leaving an orphaned son, and she took him in as her own. 

Regulus and Sirius were more than happy to move back to Britain with her when young Anthony Clinton Romanov came to be the next ruler of Russia.

 

Only a few years later she stood over the graves of Regulus and Sirius Black with the rest of her extended family. It was hard for her to watch, as she couldn’t do anything. They’d both passed in their sleep, only months apart and she couldn’t ask Death for them back.

Natasha watched Luna get married and have kids, and her kids had kids. But Natasha stayed young, the same way she’d always been.

She traveled the world, learning every piece of information she could get her hands on.

Natasha attended way too many funerals, saw too many she loved die.

Life was short and time couldn’t reach her.

 

_ There was whispers of a woman _

_ Eyes like emeralds and hair as red as blood _

_ The guardian angel of the wizarding world, that never aged a day _

_ Who told fantastic stories with far away eyes _

 

_ Many tired to reach this goddess in the stars _

_ But she always refused politely _

_ Saying she’d never let another suffer to ease her own burden _

_ And that, when Life allowed, she’d see her people again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are.   
> At the end.  
> I'm not crying, you're crying
> 
> Hope you thoroughly enjoyed the story!   
> Also, make sure to check out Sirius' side of the story in 'Seriously Grim Adventures of the Black Marauder'  
> <3 :D <3


End file.
